Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by janeo on January 16, 2012 at 7:34am

I'm sorry for the pain your feeling.And that you had to join this group this way.but I'm glad your here because you will find a great support system here and the nicest people . When I feel any kind of pain or just talking about anything your friends here will listen .God. bless you

Permalink Reply by julie thomas on January 16, 2012 at 6:50pm

i am so sorry for your loss. i do understand, i lost my husband almost 5 years ago and myu mom 2 years ago and  i still have hard times here and there (usually holidays, birthdays, etc).  it will get easier, it just takes alot of time. losing a child too is horrible, but, just hang in there.  alot of people on the "outside" dont understand what we are going through, including family members.  there was a time for me when my husband first passed that i didnt care whether i lived or died and it took years to get past that.  i have grandchildren and having them, my daughter and my dog helps keep me centered, but it isnt easy, especially when your alone.  i read your last thread about having problems sleeping? I had those problems too.  i cant really remember what i did about them. you might try valerian or there is a "night night" tea made by celestial seasonings. or just about any natural sleepy time tea.  you have to be careful with prescription drugs as too many can kill you.  im sorry to be blunt, but my husband died of an overdose of pain medication, so, i have quite the aversion to controlled drugs.  If your religious, try reading the bible or if not, meditation works.  whatever works for you is ok, doesnt matter what anybody thinks.  i have been on and off this site since my husband died and it has allowed me to vent when i must or thought i would go nuts. i was married for 32 years and still feel like i am.  but, there is light at the end of the tunnel. dont give up on yourself.

Permalink Reply by Julie Stearns on January 17, 2012 at 3:11am

Everyone, thank you for welcoming me to this site, I don't sleep and only work 3 days a week so how much cleaning can you do???  My hubby was a proud man so I feel I have to keep the house picked up and really how dirty can a house of me and my weimaraner get... I am sooo sorry you all have the need to be her also thank you all for you insite and I look forward to getting to know you all.

Permalink Reply by Marsha H on January 17, 2012 at 5:24am

Julie ...  I am so very sorry for the two losses you have had and we all know how you feel.  My husband passed away April 27, 2011 of pancreatic cancer and I was also at the hospital protecting him as best I could and the past 4 years before that when he was in and out of hospital.  It is pretty normal to feel like life sucks and I still feel that after 9 months and I still cry; have some nightmares; lost a great deal of weight and want to give up on life even though I am blessed with great support from family and friends, but for some reason we keep one foot in front of the other (one baby step at a time.)  I believe that reason is that it is important to live on in the memory of our loved ones and they sure wouldn't want us to give up.  Even though your heart aches and you miss your husband and son, but it will get somewhat easier as time goes on.  Your daughter is also grieving so talk to each other; seek counselling or talk to your Minister or Pastor as it does help and, of course, we are always here to help or just to vent.

 

Hugs

Marcy

Permalink Reply by Shannon on January 17, 2012 at 5:34am

Julie, I'm sorry your here. I too lost my husband on new years day 2012 it's been the most difficult time of my life. I too was with him since I was 15 my husband passed at age 39. I just went back to work yesterday it seemed to help a little, I have a 17 year old son to care for that helps as well. I look at his pictures and I smile we had a wonderful marriage very loving. I hate this pain an the emptiness I only pray that one day there will be peace. I do love this site everyone can relate to what were all going through and no one will say it's time to move on or your so strong. God bless you Julie and I pray for peace for everyone.

Permalink Reply by Diane Marante McDonough on January 17, 2012 at 10:11am

I am so sorry Julie for your lose.  To think you have 2 years with your love and he is gone in 9 weeks is so very hard to accept.  I am grateful that you have your daughter and hope she brings you some peace.  I know you don't want to live this life of pain, I don't either but we do.  I don't know how sometimes to go on with the pain in my heart but suddenly the day is over and a new one is here.  I don't have any children so I am alone in my home other than friends that have been my support.  All my family is out of state and sometimes I think it is harder for them because they want to help and they just can't.  You are a young widow I believe like me and it is hard to believe we have so many years ahead of us without our loves.  I am thinking of you.

Permalink Reply by Diane Marante McDonough on January 17, 2012 at 10:18am

Your lose is so fresh, I remember those days and could hardly function.  Thank God I had my family around me.  Perhaps having your son to care for is what is getting you through this difficult time right now.  It also sounds as though your work is getting you through each day and that is a blessing.  We are all here for you to vent, cry or anything else we can help with.  This is only my second day on this site and there are so many stories just like mine which is a comfort.  The support group I went to last week was 100% older people and I could not relate as well as I do to this site.  I can feel their pain but I feel cheated that I only had my husband for 25 1/2 years and they all had 50-60.  I am not discounting their pain at all I just feel more of connection here.  I am thinking about you and your son.

Diane
 
Shannon said:

Julie, I'm sorry your here. I too lost my husband on new years day 2012 it's been the most difficult time of my life. I too was with him since I was 15 my husband passed at age 39. I just went back to work yesterday it seemed to help a little, I have a 17 year old son to care for that helps as well. I look at his pictures and I smile we had a wonderful marriage very loving. I hate this pain an the emptiness I only pray that one day there will be peace. I do love this site everyone can relate to what were all going through and no one will say it's time to move on or your so strong. God bless you Julie and I pray for peace for everyone.

Permalink Reply by Rebecca Reynolds on January 17, 2012 at 2:18pm

Julie I am so sorry you are hurting.  Only someone that walks in your shoes knows how much pain you are in every day.  I love my God and my husband also loved God with all his heart but I still have empty arms.  One son lives in England, another 1900 miles (military) from home and the third goes his own way.  I am having a pitty party today.  I hate being alone also

Permalink Reply by Julie Stearns on January 17, 2012 at 6:59pm

Rebecca   I am here anytime you need to talk,  this new life just stinks but I hold steadfast and true to faith and the knowledge my boys are together.
 
Rebecca Reynolds said:

Julie I am so sorry you are hurting.  Only someone that walks in your shoes knows how much pain you are in every day.  I love my God and my husband also loved God with all his heart but I still have empty arms.  One son lives in England, another 1900 miles (military) from home and the third goes his own way.  I am having a pitty party today.  I hate being alone also

Permalink Reply by Shannon on January 17, 2012 at 7:02pm

So today was very hard, my husband and I went on a cruise in November our first real family vacation and for Xmas gift we booked another one I called to cancel it broke down so hard after this was going to be our best vacation yet. Its tax time and he always did our taxes I had to ask my brother cause I don't know how, I just miss him so much and Diane your right we did get cheated I feel the same way. Mike always said when it was our time he wanted to go the way the couple did in the movie the notebook. I feel so lost and alone I don't like coming home anymore, I used to try to beat him home from work and I find myself still looking for his truck out front. I looked at his phone and it looked like he was checking into romantic getaways in may which is our birthday month. After being together since we were 15 we were so close and he would always tell me how much he loved me. This pain is horrific I don't wish this on anyone. I have 2 animals too and I guess I never paid attention to how much they eat until now since I'm the sole provider. No life insurance nothing and here I am trying to pay for a house 2 cars and all the bills that come along with it. I have been blessed in many ways and I thank God for those blessings but I'm so sad that I can't call my husband which I did every time I took a break at work or if I had a problem he was my go to guy and he always would help me. I look at pictures and my first thought is if I would have only known you would only be with us this many days.

Permalink Reply by Julie Stearns on January 17, 2012 at 7:31pm

Diane, My son is in heaven, He passed away 5.5 years ago in an auto accident.  my daughter is what keeps me grounded here on earth. without her I would truly take my life this pain is so freaking unbearable to endure. as you well know it hurts to just breath.  Love Julie
 
Diane Marante McDonough said:

Your lose is so fresh, I remember those days and could hardly function.  Thank God I had my family around me.  Perhaps having your son to care for is what is getting you through this difficult time right now.  It also sounds as though your work is getting you through each day and that is a blessing.  We are all here for you to vent, cry or anything else we can help with.  This is only my second day on this site and there are so many stories just like mine which is a comfort.  The support group I went to last week was 100% older people and I could not relate as well as I do to this site.  I can feel their pain but I feel cheated that I only had my husband for 25 1/2 years and they all had 50-60.  I am not discounting their pain at all I just feel more of connection here.  I am thinking about you and your son.

Diane
 
Shannon said:

Julie, I'm sorry your here. I too lost my husband on new years day 2012 it's been the most difficult time of my life. I too was with him since I was 15 my husband passed at age 39. I just went back to work yesterday it seemed to help a little, I have a 17 year old son to care for that helps as well. I look at his pictures and I smile we had a wonderful marriage very loving. I hate this pain an the emptiness I only pray that one day there will be peace. I do love this site everyone can relate to what were all going through and no one will say it's time to move on or your so strong. God bless you Julie and I pray for peace for everyone.

Permalink Reply by Diane Marante McDonough on January 18, 2012 at 10:43am

Julie, I am so sorry I thought I was replying to Shannon who just lost her husband on New Years Day.  I am having so much trouble navigating this site.  I am leaving in a few minutes to go to my 2nd Bereavement support group through Hospice and I don't want to go.  Everyone tells me I need to give it a chance so I guess I will.  I will spend some time when I get home on this site trying to learn how to answer in the appropriate places.  Again Julie, I am so very sorry.

Diane

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