Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Leticia Hernandez on September 27, 2010 at 1:45pm

Hi Melissa,
I know what your feeling I just started to cook, it been only 4mos since my spouse left. Feel like there no purpose for me to go to HEB, Walmart what for? Nothing wrong with you, your griefing which is alright. Take one day at a time, Ask GOD to guide you and help you with strength, faith, hope. He works wonders believe me I didn't realize how much I needed him in my life after my spouse leaving me. Be blessed and hang in there, it does get better. Hope to hear from you.

Permalink Reply by Deborah Benoit on September 27, 2010 at 2:29pm

It has been 13 months that I lost my husband,I lived off frozen tv dinners for months ,and only started cooking because it was/is my way of dealing with stress.I have cooked every single one of my husband's favorite foods.But now I don't know what to do.If I try and shop "for myself" I can't seem to make a decision,I just wonder around the store hoping no1 I know see's me.One thing after a year I have figured out is this is a process.... a long long process.I still feel completely lost .

Permalink Reply by Virginia on September 27, 2010 at 5:28pm

Melissa, I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to the site, as you've probally been reading we are here for each other, good and bad we've have all at one point been where you are and everyone is a different stage and frame of mind in this process and that is what it is. We have to figure out this new way of life, it's never going to be the same it will be different and we each have to do what feels right for US not for anyone else, but we will be here for each other and give comfort the best way we can. hugs to you

Permalink Reply by heather on September 27, 2010 at 6:15pm

yesterday was 6 mo. since my Jimmy died I discovered him dead in our living room I never heard him go there I still see him everyday as I found him. It is so hard I lost the love of my life. I will be 62 in a few months, kids are grown everyone has their lives and all the hours that pass I'm alone. I can't work I'm disabled on oxygen 24/7. I wish it had been me this is no life for me I have no one to talk to to laugh with to say goodnight to everyday. I too have trouble resting, eating alone cooking a lot no way no fun cooking for one person, I pray every day for strength from God for what I have to endure. Thanks for listening I need everyones prayers

Permalink Reply by Virginia on September 27, 2010 at 6:55pm

Heather, i'm sorry for your loss this is the best place to be welcom and hugs, god bless

heather said:

yesterday was 6 mo. since my Jimmy died I discovered him dead in our living room I never heard him go there I still see him everyday as I found him. It is so hard I lost the love of my life. I will be 62 in a few months, kids are grown everyone has their lives and all the hours that pass I'm alone. I can't work I'm disabled on oxygen 24/7. I wish it had been me this is no life for me I have no one to talk to to laugh with to say goodnight to everyday. I too have trouble resting, eating alone cooking a lot no way no fun cooking for one person, I pray every day for strength from God for what I have to endure. Thanks for listening I need everyones prayers

Permalink Reply by Deborah Benoit on September 27, 2010 at 8:18pm

My heart goes out to you.I am also disabled and my kids are all grown.My son has been living with me ,Thank-God. I have to move because where I live is to hard for me to deal with on my own ( takes a snow mobile to get to the house in the winter).I have no idea where I'm going to go or how to work it all out financially....I wish It had been me who died in the "accident". Makes no sense why it was him and not me.

heather said:

yesterday was 6 mo. since my Jimmy died I discovered him dead in our living room I never heard him go there I still see him everyday as I found him. It is so hard I lost the love of my life. I will be 62 in a few months, kids are grown everyone has their lives and all the hours that pass I'm alone. I can't work I'm disabled on oxygen 24/7. I wish it had been me this is no life for me I have no one to talk to to laugh with to say goodnight to everyday. I too have trouble resting, eating alone cooking a lot no way no fun cooking for one person, I pray every day for strength from God for what I have to endure. Thanks for listening I need everyones prayers

Permalink Reply by Glenda F. Camp on September 27, 2010 at 8:57pm

I am so sorry for your loss. Grieving the loss of our spouses is probably the hardest thing we will ever have to do. There are no words to relieve the pain and profound sadness. There is only the reassurance that there are people on this site who have been there, may still be in the midst of grieving and know how difficult it is to get on with life without your soulmate. Cooking for myself and sitting down to the table we once shared is something I have had great difficulty doing. Sometimes I just take my Kindle and head for a nearby restaurant, or I invite a friend to join me. You would be surprised at how many people there are who are having the same problem you describe and would love to find a friend to dine out with.
Grieving is a lengthy process during which you will take one step forward and two backwards. Please don't put yourself down when that happens. Embrace it and share your thoughts and feelings with us on this site. I will be thinking of you as you work your way through this difficult time.

Permalink Reply by Victoria (Vicky) Owensby on September 28, 2010 at 1:37am

Hi Melissa,

So sorry for your suffering. My husband died April 26, 2010 and still I would prefer to stay at home, not eat right, sleep horribly and really just die right along with him. After 4 months of this I'm just now beginning to realize I am not going to die so I started going outside and trying to enjoy nature, breathing nice fresh air, getting some exercise, seeing things. I don't feel this way everyday but I know now I must try to take care of myself cause I'm just adding more pain (my own sickness) to my deep loss I will carry for the rest of my life. I still can't cook cause it makes me miss him so much and cleaning, what a joke. My energy level is still so low from depression. I hear the first year is the hardest, but that may not be the same for everyone. Posting on this site helps a lot cause we all know the debilitating pain of loosing a big part of ourselves.

Virginia said:

Heather, i'm sorry for your loss this is the best place to be welcom and hugs, god bless

heather said:

yesterday was 6 mo. since my Jimmy died I discovered him dead in our living room I never heard him go there I still see him everyday as I found him. It is so hard I lost the love of my life. I will be 62 in a few months, kids are grown everyone has their lives and all the hours that pass I'm alone. I can't work I'm disabled on oxygen 24/7. I wish it had been me this is no life for me I have no one to talk to to laugh with to say goodnight to everyday. I too have trouble resting, eating alone cooking a lot no way no fun cooking for one person, I pray every day for strength from God for what I have to endure. Thanks for listening I need everyones prayers