My husband was diagnosed with gall bladder metastasized carcinoma on March 16th and after 4 months of severe pain and suffering he has passed on July 15th in the hospital after a months stay to stop his pain.  I watched one of the strongest calmest men ever dwindle away to nothing he couldn't eat, sleep and it finally wore on him I watched him take his last breath.  I still think if I would of figured a way to take him home from hospital he might still be with me that is all he wanted.  There is so many things now that I look back that was warning signs for his condition but doctors treated them all with a different drug.  Why isn't it mandatory to get a total scan every year they would be able to locate problems quickly and early diagnosis might have saved him instead they gave him medicines for all his symptoms of the cancer he had.  I love him and will miss him and hope I can now find my future without him in it that thought is so very hard..  Thanks for listening. 

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Dear Maggie, I am so sorry for your loss.  I will keep you in my prayers that God will comfort you and give you peace.   Janice

It's really hard I know, but this site has become an oasis for me.  People are really encouraging & non-judgemental.  We're all dealing w/ the same thing, the loss of a spouse.  For me it was a sudden heart attack after only 12 years of marriage.  My husband was only 57.  It's hard on all of us, but thank God we have each other!

I know my Scott would be saying this to me now...
And if I should go before you
know that part of me still remains
you will not see me yet I will
be there walking beside you.
You will not touch me
Yet I will live in your heart and memory always
Have faith that we will one day walk
hand in hand in eternity
Until then live your life for life is good
and know that I am with you

Dear Margie ...

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's passing.  I agree with you that doctors are not on top of things as they should be and are the cause of much pain for spouses and family.  My husband passed away on April 27, 2011 of pancreatic/cancer and it was the surgeon that made a mess of things.  If the cyst had been treated earlier (Ernie and I didn't know he had a cyst)  he may have made it or, at the very least we would have had more time together.  Instead my husband who was also a calm and loving man dwindled away and Margie, I know how difficult it had to be for you to lose control of trying to help heal your loved one because I sure felt that way.  I was not as fortunate and was also called too late to get to the Hospice in time to be with my husband when he took his last breath, but thankfully we had a chance earlier to cuddle up together; just talk, but when his time came close the hardest thing I ever had to do was tell my dear heart to let go and be at peace and that I would be OK (he was so worried about me throughout his own pain.) 

We are all in different stages of grieving.  I still have my cries; a place we once use to go too; a smell; even being around our close friends makes me cry or feel extremely alone. I often wonder if there will be a future for me as well, but I do believe we were left behind for a purpose and to carry the loving memories of our spouses within us and I believe doing that is a light that leads us in a positive direction.  It may feel like our lives are scattered across an open field; our hearts heavy and our feet like lead, but, little by little our loved one will be beside us to guide us and with the help of God we'll make it!




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