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Permalink Reply by Barbara Sullivan on April 11, 2015 at 11:12pm

Chicago Beard, I liked the blog article.  I think there is some validity.  I was recently telling a friend that while I know I am alone, now that Chris is gone, I still feel him near.  

Shortly after Chris died, I began having dreams that he was alive and well.  My dreams were filled with joy -- I would wake up, longing for the dream to go on and on.  I had these dreams several times over a period of a few months.  I don't have those dreams, any longer, and I miss them,

I wear his wedding ring on a gold chain around my neck.  I gave him the gold chain the first year we were married.  He never took it off in all the 20 years we were together.  If he had to remove it for medical tests, he would hand it to me to hold for him, and he took it back, again, as soon as the tests were completed.  For many months after Chris died, at night, when I was lying in bed waiting for sleep, I would suddenly feel two little tugs on the chain around my neck -- never one tug -- never three -- always two. I believed he was letting me know that he was with me, watching over me, and I could go to sleep, knowing I was safe.

I talk to Chris almost every day,  Yesterday, I was sitting at my dressing table, talking to my daughter on the phone.  As soon as I hung up, I heard a loud crash behind me.  The clock that had hung on that wall for 15 years, suddenly fell to the floor.  Of course, at first I was startled,  Then, I laughed and said, "Was that you, hon?"  It was April 10th -- the two-year anniversary of Chris' death.  

I believe the article referred to 'feelings of comfort and connected-ness'. 

Whatever it is, I don't want to lose this connection with Chris.  It happens less and less, lately, and I take that as a sign that I am 'moving along' with my grief -- but, I hope I will always feel him near me.

Thanks, for the article!

Barb

Permalink Reply by Chicago Beard on June 1, 2015 at 10:43am

Today would have been our 35th anniversary. Even though my life is going pretty well and I have a wonderful woman in my life who I love and who loves me, not a day goes by I do not miss my Rose. I often tell her I still love and miss her. I still cry over her. Happy anniversary LOML.

Permalink Reply by Frank Andrews on June 1, 2015 at 8:54pm

Yes,  it never gets easier on anniversary dates and it is just impossible not to watch the calendar.  Sometimes I think I would be better off stranded on some island with no knowledge of what day or even month it was. Glad that you have someone in your life to share your grief with and who understands.  Don't feel it will ever be that way for me.  Have to be thankful we had these women in our lives and were loved so deeply. 

Chicago Beard said:

Today would have been our 35th anniversary. Even though my life is going pretty well and I have a wonderful woman in my life who I love and who loves me, not a day goes by I do not miss my Rose. I often tell her I still love and miss her. I still cry over her. Happy anniversary LOML.

Permalink Reply by Chicago Beard on June 1, 2015 at 9:43pm

Your last sentence says it all Frank. Thanks.

Frank Andrews said:

Yes,  it never gets easier on anniversary dates and it is just impossible not to watch the calendar.  Sometimes I think I would be better off stranded on some island with no knowledge of what day or even month it was. Glad that you have someone in your life to share your grief with and who understands.  Don't feel it will ever be that way for me.  Have to be thankful we had these women in our lives and were loved so deeply. 

Chicago Beard said:

Today would have been our 35th anniversary. Even though my life is going pretty well and I have a wonderful woman in my life who I love and who loves me, not a day goes by I do not miss my Rose. I often tell her I still love and miss her. I still cry over her. Happy anniversary LOML.

Permalink Reply by Virginia on June 27, 2015 at 9:14am

Chicago, I'm so glad to see you are still doing as good you and we can at this point in our lives. Although I don't come here often it is nice to see everyone helping each other. There is happiness to be had again when and if you are ready. I'm glad to be able to see it again, Hugs to everyone.

 
Chicago Beard said:

Today would have been our 35th anniversary. Even though my life is going pretty well and I have a wonderful woman in my life who I love and who loves me, not a day goes by I do not miss my Rose. I often tell her I still love and miss her. I still cry over her. Happy anniversary LOML.