Moving On

It has been 20 months since my beloved Keith died so suddenly and unexpectedly and since that fateful day, I seem to have spent all of my time just keeping busy donig stuff that is really not important but just helps to get me through the day.

Every day I ask myself ' What can I do to keep moving on?

Most days, I do not get an answer.

Since Keith died I have sold my big family home and moved to a one bedroom condo because I could not face living in that big house without him. Now I look at the walls of the new place and wonder if I made the right decision.

After 45 years together I am faced with this terrible feeling of loneliness. When I am ill there is no-one here to comfort me. I fear that I might fall and there will be no-one to pick me up. But above all, not having him here in the night to just touch and to just know that I am not alone hurts the most.

My family and friends think that I am doing very well but they only see what I want them to see.

They all wish that I would just get over it but that will never happen.

Love eternal cannot be denied.

How can I move on? I have done all of the things that the councellors and specialists recommend, but the fact is I am so lonely and miss my darling so desperately.

There have been many books written about death and grief but they do not begin to describe the terrible loneliness that happens to you when you lose your soulmate.

So for all of you who are suffering the dreadful pain of the loss of a spouse, have courage, allow yourself time to grieve, accept that your loved one is gone and try to move on.

Blssings

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mary on August 25, 2010 at 6:35pm

This is getting so sad. We have a lot of new members on this site. I apolgize for what is going on here. Everyone is intitled to their own feelings. Everyone handles grief in their own way and in their own time. No one should be putting any one else down, because they aren't handling things the way you think they should. If you are "getting cured", maybe it is time to move on, if you are unable to leave others to their feelings. This is not the place for name calling. May we all have peace and comfort in our journey. Hugs to all. Hugs are good--to Randolph.

Permalink Reply by Tom on August 25, 2010 at 6:38pm

Words of hope and encouragement, where are they ?
Who made this site a chat room for the walking dead ?
I first came here to get help and understanding, to heal, not to be trapped in dispare, and loathing my very exsitance. If you all think that's a good thing, you are mentally ill. I read these comments every day, and it's gotten sick, by the same old people who refuse to do any good.
And hugs don't do a damn thing.

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on August 25, 2010 at 7:08pm

Too bad the same old person comes back to be judge,jury and executioner toward eveyone else. Especially when they WERE moving on and not going to be on this site. How fitting that they should pick this topic to hammer on people. There are words of encouragement here. There is absolutely no quick fix. Hugs are good here. Hugs are real. I know I am mental, God I wonder why ? Geeze, I guess there are people who REFUSE to walk in our shoes. Its so unfair of those people to pass judgement without them being judged back. But hey, to each their own I was told. This mental person that I supposidly am, who is good for nothing and sick and with so full of dispair and gloom and sadness who lost his only world because his wife (EXCUSE ME ALL TO HECK)died suddenly and made my life end, I will still post on this site. I will continue to give hugs. I will give input. I hope that we can somehow find our way thru this grief. When I post that I am leaving because I found my way, I WILL stay away like I said I would. Not come back and taunt people and turn on them. Now thats deplorable, From the "dead man walking", Randy

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on August 25, 2010 at 7:14pm

P.S. You will no longer be considered as V.P. or have any part of the "woman sniffing club".

Permalink Reply by Virginia on August 25, 2010 at 7:44pm

LOL LOL You tell him, he just needs to be ignored he is loving this and is feeding on getting everyone upset, HUGS HUGS HUGS AND I LIKE THE HUGS

Randolph L. Schrader said:

P.S. You will no longer be considered as V.P. or have any part of the "woman sniffing club".

Permalink Reply by Tom on August 25, 2010 at 8:40pm

I'm only talking to you about how you affect others with your wanting to be dead. Do you really think that helps anyone ? I don't want you to get off of here or anyone else, I'm just exposing you for what you are. Weak and self centered on your dead life, all the time. You can do better than that. I'll come and go as I please. I leave this site and come back as I please, not because you don't like the truth about you. And Virgina, get a dictionary and quit insulting me with your stupidity.

Randolph L. Schrader said:

P.S. You will no longer be considered as V.P. or have any part of the "woman sniffing club".

Permalink Reply by Connie on August 25, 2010 at 9:00pm

This is really getting crazy. Tom, you have the right to grieve the way you see fit and if you are able to pick up the pieces and go on, good for you. Not everyone is that fortunate. Some of us for whatever reason cannot just pick up and move on. I am sure that you loved Loni very much and she you. Your life together was what you guys made it and I am truly sorry for your loss. However, Randolph and some others of us here, have not been that fortunate. We are not able to pick up the pieces and go on with life. Maybe we are sick, I don't know. But that does not mean that you should put anyone down because of the way we feel. If Randolph's post or my post or maybe someone else's post is too depressing for you, then by all means don't read it. You have that right and we also have the right to post our feelings. I don't think there is any right way or wrong way to express what we are feeling. I, personally, don't find Randolph to be depressing. Maybe that is because my personality is much like his. However wrong you feel that might be, there is not a darn thing I can do about that.
Please, can we all start acting like adults instead of children. How do you think new people to this site are going to feel about this bickering? Does it really matter if someone's spelling and punctuation is not perfect? I don't think it matters at all.
Tom, when you say things like you have tonight, it seems as though you might be having more of a problem dealing with your life than we are. I will keep you and Loni in my prayers. Have a good night.

Permalink Reply by Tom on August 25, 2010 at 9:09pm

Connie,
My apoligy.
I'll stop now.

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on August 25, 2010 at 9:13pm

Hi to all, this will be the end of responding to Tom. This only fuels him for more comebacks so I wont bother bickering with him. Let us not deter others from getting a bad idea about this site. Hugs to all. Hugs are good.

Permalink Reply by CINDY POWELL on August 25, 2010 at 9:39pm

DEAR CONNIE,
THANKS SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE JUST SAID. I DONT WANT TO FEEL SCARED TO POST JUST BECAUSE I AM ONE OF THE ONES THAT STILL FEEL LIKE MY LIFE IS NEVER GOING TO BE GOOD AGAIN. I THINK EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID IS RIGHT ON TARGET.

Connie said:

This is really getting crazy. Tom, you have the right to grieve the way you see fit and if you are able to pick up the pieces and go on, good for you. Not everyone is that fortunate. Some of us for whatever reason cannot just pick up and move on. I am sure that you loved Loni very much and she you. Your life together was what you guys made it and I am truly sorry for your loss. However, Randolph and some others of us here, have not been that fortunate. We are not able to pick up the pieces and go on with life. Maybe we are sick, I don't know. But that does not mean that you should put anyone down because of the way we feel. If Randolph's post or my post or maybe someone else's post is too depressing for you, then by all means don't read it. You have that right and we also have the right to post our feelings. I don't think there is any right way or wrong way to express what we are feeling. I, personally, don't find Randolph to be depressing. Maybe that is because my personality is much like his. However wrong you feel that might be, there is not a darn thing I can do about that.
Please, can we all start acting like adults instead of children. How do you think new people to this site are going to feel about this bickering? Does it really matter if someone's spelling and punctuation is not perfect? I don't think it matters at all.
Tom, when you say things like you have tonight, it seems as though you might be having more of a problem dealing with your life than we are. I will keep you and Loni in my prayers. Have a good night.

Permalink Reply by CINDY POWELL on August 25, 2010 at 9:39pm

This is really getting crazy. Tom, you have the right to grieve the way you see fit and if you are able to pick up the pieces and go on, good for you. Not everyone is that fortunate. Some of us for whatever reason cannot just pick up and move on. I am sure that you loved Loni very much and she you. Your life together was what you guys made it and I am truly sorry for your loss. However, Randolph and some others of us here, have not been that fortunate. We are not able to pick up the pieces and go on with life. Maybe we are sick, I don't know. But that does not mean that you should put anyone down because of the way we feel. If Randolph's post or my post or maybe someone else's post is too depressing for you, then by all means don't read it. You have that right and we also have the right to post our feelings. I don't think there is any right way or wrong way to express what we are feeling. I, personally, don't find Randolph to be depressing. Maybe that is because my personality is much like his. However wrong you feel that might be, there is not a darn thing I can do about that.
Please, can we all start acting like adults instead of children. How do you think new people to this site are going to feel about this bickering? Does it really matter if someone's spelling and punctuation is not perfect? I don't think it matters at all.
Tom, when you say things like you have tonight, it seems as though you might be having more of a problem dealing with your life than we are. I will keep you and Loni in my prayers. Have a good night.

Permalink Reply by Connie on August 25, 2010 at 10:10pm

Thanks guys. I hope we can all get along now. We need each other so very much. In just a few hours I am going to be on my way to Florida to visit Donald Duck. Hope everyone is well when I return. All of you guys are really great and no matter what, we all need each other.