Jo, I am so glad you had a good time with your grandchildren. I am sure your grandchildren had a wonderful time with grandma. If your grandchildren are anything like mine, they would have had a wonderful time with grandma anywhere. I can relate to you on your daughter-in-law. But I keep telling myself that I had no choice in chooseing her. Sometimes I tell her what I think, but most of the time I just ignore her. I think ignoring her is the best.
Floss I also do not cook. I do go to the grocery store, but I am still buying groceries as if Neal is still here. (My kitchen cabinets looks like a grocery store.) But when I get readly to cook, I think why, it is just me. Neal always complimented whatever I cooked. I really do need to start cooking, I know it would help my weight problem I have gotten since Neal passed away. Well it is back to one day at a time. HUGS
You are wise to take you daughter-in-law with a grain of salt. That will insure you keep getting time with the grandkids. You do not have to like her, just keep peace with her. The relationship with the grand kids will help you get through this. I am sorry no one noticed the anniversary (or at least did not want to acknowledge it if they did). Be well and hugs to you.
Also try to join a grief support group. Almost all churches have them as well as mortuaries. Thu this I have met several women who also are widows and we share alot of our feelings, and that is so comforting because you know they know exactly how your feeling. I can't imagine going back to work so soon, but everyone is different., I took 8 weeks off and sometimes I think that might have been too early. I'm coming up on one year soon and that is stressing me out. I cry more often now because of the anticipation of that one year mark. I go to church each Sunday and that helps me too. I also gave in the anti-depressents about 3 months after he passed. I fought it but finally gave in. I guess they have helped a little.
Hope this helps a little... You will be a rollercoaster so be prepared. Some days will be good, and then you dive down and have a really bad day. But as time goes on those bad days are less and less, but understand you will still have bad days, just as I'm having now, after almost a year. My husband was my best friend, we had the most amazing marriage. No one knew me better than he did, now I feel so alone and no one to care about me. Children and friends just aren't the same. Hugs and keep breathing
Jo, My heart goes out to you. My Neal has been gone 9 months and I still have all the feelings you are having now. I still do not have any amount of concentration to read or watch TV. I keep the TV on just for the noise and have it on reruns. I used to love to read. Neal always kidded me about starting a library with all of my books, now I can't even concentrate enough to read a magazine. I know what it is like to wonder from room to room in an empty, lonely house, the phone not ringing, but when it does I don't want to talk. Neither do I have the energy to do the things that need to be done in my house. I have good intentions but I will sit and just think about the things to do and never get up and do them. I still can not go to the cemetary very much because it just upsets me too much. I stand there and look at his name and just keep saying out loud, this just can not be, this just can not be.
This site has been good for me, as I can see that I am not crazy, this is what everyone else is going through or went through. Everyone is so supportive and it is a place to vent what ever you are feeling.
Hang in there Jo, we are all here for you. HUGS