I just lost my wonderful husband of 33 years 1 week ago yesterday. I just cant stand the thought of never getting to see his face, hold him in my arms, share the good and bad times together. The knot just wont go away.
He had been sick for the past 2 years, HepC ,(died of liver failure). I would not wish him back for i truly know where he is, in heaven, with our Lord.
I know I did all I could to take care of him, the last five days of our lives together i never left his side in the hospital, and I know he knew he was loved so much.
He was a wonderful person, my best friend, we did everything together.
I know my story is not new just happened to different people. Thanks for your stories to know im not alone and listening to mine.
Anyway for now .... Cheryl
I hope i posted this in the right area.
Cheryl, I know what you're going thru. My Paul passed away on Christmas Eve. He'd been ailing with dementia. It was sooooo horrible . He knew he was dying. He said one day,"Honey, listen to me. I know I'm dying. Believe me, I' m dying." How horrible? But he felt it in one of his lucid moments. It's been three months and I've finally stopped crying constantly; but I do tear up at the most unusual times. Yes, I also know he's in a better place; but right now I'm selfish. I miss him. I still wait for him to say "God bless you!" when I sneeze. I still listen for him. We are going thru the same things; but we will be all right. We have to be. No one has given us a choice.
I find the best help is to pull our your calendar and try to find activities to plan your days. I am now buying tickets for Broadway shows, joining a gym, playing mah jongg, going to dinner with a friend. Please start that process of anything you like. Where do you live, Cheryl. Wish I were with you to hug you and cry with you. Hugs, Corinne in Pittsburgh, PA. Please write back.
I'm so sorry Cheryl. I know your pain, its the worst thing that you will ever feel, and nobody can know till it happens. I lost Don 9 months ago, after 39 years together, I still have times of disbelief. It hurts so bad. All you can do is keep going on, a day at a time, keep him in your heart. My thoughts are with you, and my prayers.
Thank you all so very much, i truly appreciate the thoughts that you have been (or going through) what i now find myself dealing with.
I was 16 when we married, so i have literally spent my whole life with him. Im so glad that our sons are grown up and I do not have little ones to have to be even more strong for.
My heart goes out to each of you as well as you have lost that special someone also ((hugs))
Im doing my best to take care of me but i wish i could just climb in bed and sleep for a couple years just hoping some of the pain will diminish. I know i keep hearing it will get easier with time .... but while im in the moment time seems like a million miles away.
I will never stop loving , thinking about, or talking about the man who stole my heart and took it with him.
Cheryl dear, I'm so glad you wrote back. You are in my daily prayers. Do you have a good support system? Suggestion....try to get a little exercise...even just walking in your neighborhood if it is safe. Set a goal for tomorrow. Even making your bed and taking a short walk will do. Hugs. Corinne
I am so very sorry for your loss. My Charlie passed on April 9 2012 so it has been almost a year for us. I'm not sure that time itself does anything for you. It's what you do with that time. It's very early but you are already doing one of the best things you can - you are writing about your loss, your husband and your love. And, you are right, it does help to read what others are feeling. You can say anything you want or need to here.
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. ~Washington Irving
I wish you peace. Julie