I just found this group and I have a lot of reading to do. I wanted to introduce myself. I lost my wife and partner of 28 years on November 12th, 2011. I met Shelley in August of 1983 and we knew within a week we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I didn't know hers would be cut short by the evils of cancer. Shelley found out she had cancer the 1st time in November of 2004 and through 2 operations and years of chemo she fought the good fight. I have so much more to say, but have to stop now, as I'm having trouble seeing through my tears.

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I am so sorry for your loss.  Yours is fresher than mine, but any loss is fresh.  I don't know how to stop the pain.  I am not getting any relief and it hurts so bad.  I was with Steve for 50 years, married 47-1/2 is you get right down to it.  It's hard.  The hardest thing I've ever had to face.  I have a fantastic support system through my family.  I started Grief Share last week and go to a psychologist tomorrow, so I'm trying.  I just pray it all works.  Love Sue
 
sally johnson said:

I'm so sorry you are in this group-sometimes its so hard to read what others are going through be cause you are felling the same way-Every time I try to write here I end up sobbing-how do people get through this? Frank died suddenly on11-20 11 -we didn't even say goodbye-I miss him so

So sorry to her of your loss; but one thing Bruce there is no more pain. I know that does not help to hear that  it is true.  I lost  my husband. Oct 24 2010 to lung cancer; so I know exactly how you are feeling. My prayers with you through this painful time.

Sending hugs and kiss sounds good, but only the real ones will work; so anytime anyone wants to give you a hug tell em to make it a good one, because that is really  all you are wanting is someone to hold you or give you a big hug.

the biggest hugs from us all  to wrap you  in comfort

Laura

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved wife.  I lost my husband June 16, 2010. Went to work that morning, he wasn't feeling good and I asked my daughter to watch him.  Came home that evening after work and when my son and I walked in, we found him on the kitchen floor.  My daughter had fallen asleeep upstairs and wasn't aware of what happened until, she heard my screams.  I am thankful, that a few hours before, I had told him I loved him and I hang onto that. 

 

I know the pain you are feeling and all the firsts that you need to deal with but, draw strength from the beautiful and lasting memories that the both of you shared together and know, that she is with you and watching over you.   I know  that hearing that, doesn't help when you can't physically touch her but, you can in your dreams and in your memories.

 

God bless you and I hope, that you find comfort in the words of so many on this sight and in the love of your family and friends.

 

Hi,  I unfortunately qualify for this group.  My husband Kirk died Oct 2, 2011.  We had just moved to WI from SC.  He started a new job that he loved and we bought a house.  He was diagnosed Sept 2, 2011, he had squamous cell skin cancer.  I sold the house and moved back to MN to be near family and friends.  I feel like I am adrift with no course or direction.  It is nice to know there are others like me.  It is great to meet all of you.  Lynn

Lynne ...  My condolences come your way.  I too am so sorry you have had to join this group, but we all support each other and that in itself doesn't make us feel so alone.  My husband Ernie passed away April 27, 2011 of pancreatic/liver cancer.  All of us are on a roller coaster ride and sometimes at least for myself it all feels like a bad dream.  There are no rules to grieving and some take longer to heal than others, but we do heal to a degree where we can move forward in our lives and slowly find out what we are capable of.  The memories of our loved one will keep us moving forward and I feel Ernie is near me prodding me on.  Faith helps; grief counselling and of course have family and friends close by and this is a good place to come to pour out your feelings.

 

God Bless

Marcy  
 
Lynn Haws said:

Hi,  I unfortunately qualify for this group.  My husband Kirk died Oct 2, 2011.  We had just moved to WI from SC.  He started a new job that he loved and we bought a house.  He was diagnosed Sept 2, 2011, he had squamous cell skin cancer.  I sold the house and moved back to MN to be near family and friends.  I feel like I am adrift with no course or direction.  It is nice to know there are others like me.  It is great to meet all of you.  Lynn

I started this thread when I first found the group here as a way introduce myself to the group. I now see it's morphed into a place for others to do the same. I have to say I'm honored to have y'all use my thread when you join our sad club that no one wants to join.

May all of you find the peace we're all looking for, and if I could be so bold, hugs to all of you.

I am new. I haven't been able to bring myself to write, but I've been reading and it has helped. So I will write. My husband, best friend, soulmate Keith Brown ... I can't even describe how incredible he was to me. He died on October 19, 2011 of metatastic melanoma. He had the ability to make everyone he met feel valued, important, interesting. Basically he cared about others and wanted to know them. He was always willing to help someone either professionally and/or personally. He touched the lives of so many with his grace. I cannot believe he is gone, I am discovering the magnitude of my grief. I think I am at the worst part - the reality is setting in. I am too young to be here 43 - he was too young to die.
Please get your skin checked and tell others - it might save a life.

Dear Lisa.  So sorry for your loss, absolutely too young to die.  You are so right, I lost my husband to colon cancer (57) and many years ago I had a melanoma removed.  I was very lucky indeed.  Now I notice a mole, I am always looking!  I am going to ask the doctor to remove it next month when I go back.  Very aware and excellent advice. 

 

Your Keith sounds like my Jack - just an all around nice and caring person, they seem to stand out amongst us.

 

Hugs,

Carol

Carol,
It was a mole on his arm that he always had and one day it just changed. By the time he got it removed it had already spread to his lymph nodes. please do not wait! I feel so horribly guilty for not making him go to the doctor because i was worried about a different mole which turned out to be ok. Maybe if they would have gotten it sooner.... He died 16 months later.

God must need the good ones.
Hugs,
Lisa

Shelley had a couple of skin spots checked and her dermatologist said take a picture anytime and email it to save the cost of a visit. Then if the Doc thought it was something she'd have her come in.

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