New widow needs help!

Hi, my name is Christy and I have only been a widow for 12 days. I am sooo lost, and have seen so many posts saying 1-3yrs out ppl are still hurting so bad. I don't know how to get thru this, and could use any advice, or support.

I am 37, my husband Joe (who just turned 40 in January) died suddenly and unexpectedly when he took an antibiotic and went into anaphylactic shock in our home. I called 911, tried to keep his airway open, gave him mouth to mouth until the paramedics arrived. They had trouble getting the airway tube in him, but finally did. I watched them give him meds, air, and CPR for quite some time. He was dead before we left the house. The sheriff drove me to the hospital, and waited until my mother-in-law and sister-in-laws arrived.

This has been an abosulte nightmare! We had just moved to the Atlanta area, Joe had gotten a great job that he loved, we bought a house (had only lived in it 6 weeks) and then it's all gone. I have 5 step children, and will most likely never get to see any of them again. So in a matter of minutes I lost my best friend/soulmate/husband, dreams, family, EVERYTHING!!!

I have always been a strong person, and been thru a lot in life. But for the first time I don't know if i can survive this! I feel so alone, lost, and hopeless.

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Permalink Reply by Patricia A. VonBenken on May 27, 2011 at 12:10pm

Christy:

Christy: My name is Pattie and I am so sorry for your loss, it has been 2.5 years since I loss David, but it still feels like it was yesterday. I was fortunate, I found a excellant grief support group that I had joined last year and I am going to go back to it again, it was just not enough time and talking to someone does help. I have had to go on medication to deal with the depression because at times it just gets to be too much. My husband was only 54 when he died of cirrosis fo the liver. Two days before he got sick, he went out and had a great time, he even joked and made a comment that we were never going to leave each other because who would put up with us. I hear that in head every day and agree that it was the truth, we did put up with a lot of stuff that someone maybe would not. I think that is what made us work together so will. He was only sick for two days, that was the shock of it all. His family has been great to me, they make sure that I am included not matter what it is. I hope that you have the love and support of his family, it does make a huge difference. I still sit and cry at the drop of a pin, I don't know if I will every stop. Having to make decisions that you never expected to make I think are the hardest. I know that there will never be another man like him in my life and I don't know if I really want someone else. Try to be strong, I know it is hard. If you every need to talk you can reach me through this site. It has turned out to be the best thing that I have done.

Permalink Reply by alaine dougherty on May 27, 2011 at 1:10pm

my dearest christy...let me wrap my arms around you and just "sit" with you....this is all so overwhelming and terrifying...my husband michael (married 33 years) died suddenly while we were on vacation...wanted you to know that i understand that life can change in an instant...after reading yaca's suggestions and christy's list of things "to do" i would have given you the same ideas...it will all be so hard...since we are still in the land of the living we have no choice but to deal with the way things are now...keep writing...it helps...go easy on yourself...grief is exhausting...one day, one minute at a time...it will take time to absorb all this...we are all here to help...

alaine

Permalink Reply by kori jacobson on May 27, 2011 at 1:59pm

I am a new widow, just 15 days. Things are so strange to me. I cant believe how drastic EVERYTHING changes in an instant. I have a 12 yr old son that is also in total disbelief of what has happened. We had a normal life until 630 am on May 12th. I dont know what way to turn, my husband was everything to our family, dad, husband, son in law, neighbor, spiritual leader, financial supporter, baseball coach, handy man, protector, safety blanket, and now we feel so lost. Im not sure how to live life without him. Im 37 yrs old and have been with him for 19 yrs. How does this happen??? Im trying like hell to keep it together for my son, but im so scared. Such a whirpool of feelings>>>>>>>>

thanks for listening,

Kori