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I agree with all you said. I hate that I'm living without him. But I have to say that the feelings that overwhelmed me in the early months are different now. I feel that now my heart is turning to stone because I am apathetic and indifferent living through the motions of everyday life. I still weep and feel sad and empty but not as often. I also wait for God to let me know what He wants me to do. Thank you so much for your reply. Those who are understanding like you help the process as I feel relief and validation so thank you for that.
God bless,
Suzanne
I'm not here every day as a lot of people are, so I'm glad I was here this time to let you know you are indeed not alone in trying to cope.
I too feel as if I'm just "existing" and trying to make it through after his death. I work fulltime so my mind is pretty much occupied at work, but when I get home and my days off, by the 2nd day off the being alone is getting to me.
I always pray to God to watch over me and to let Dale watch over me and guide me to be able to feel some happiness again.
Some days are worse then others, but I know I am doing better then a few months ago. It's a start, I know there will always be a hole in my heart, but I'm hoping there will be more smiles and less tears when I think of him and our life together.
And I always remember him telling me "I want you to be happy" and do the best I can.
Bless you on your journey, Nancey
"Remember Me" by David Harkins
Do not shed tears when I have gone
but smile instead because I have lived.
Do not shut your eyes and pray to God that I’ll come back
but open your eyes and see all that I have left behind.
I know your heart will be empty because you cannot see me
but still I want you to be full of the love we shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live only for yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of what happened
between us yesterday.
You can remember me and grieve that I have gone
or you can cherish my memory and let it live on.
You can cry and lose yourself become distraught
and turn your back on the world
or you can do what I want - smile, wipe away the tears,
learn to love again and go on.
I'm not here every day as a lot of people are, so I'm glad I was here this time to let you know you are indeed not alone in trying to cope.
I too feel as if I'm just "existing" and trying to make it through after his death. I work fulltime so my mind is pretty much occupied at work, but when I get home and my days off, by the 2nd day off the being alone is getting to me.
I always pray to God to watch over me and to let Dale watch over me and guide me to be able to feel some happiness again.
Some days are worse then others, but I know I am doing better then a few months ago. It's a start, I know there will always be a hole in my heart, but I'm hoping there will be more smiles and less tears when I think of him and our life together.
And I always remember him telling me "I want you to be happy" and do the best I can.
Bless you on your journey, Nancey
"Remember Me" by David Harkins
Do not shed tears when I have gone
but smile instead because I have lived.
Do not shut your eyes and pray to God that I’ll come back
but open your eyes and see all that I have left behind.
I know your heart will be empty because you cannot see me
but still I want you to be full of the love we shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live only for yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of what happened
between us yesterday.
You can remember me and grieve that I have gone
or you can cherish my memory and let it live on.
You can cry and lose yourself become distraught
and turn your back on the world
or you can do what I want - smile, wipe away the tears,
learn to love again and go on.
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