My husband passed away on May 12th, I'm still not sure I really believe that he's not coming home,he had a stroke in January but was getting better with the only problem was speech and swallowing which he was going to therapy for. He pretty much had pneumonia from right after the stroke and was on antibiotics always, but out of nowhere he ended up in hospital because of breathing and after a week came home on hospice and died the next day, I can't seem to wrap my head around it, he turned 62 while in the hospital, I'm lost without him. We were married for 26 years, he helped raise my three girls after my first husband had heart failure at 36 , so I'm no stranger to grieve but just can't make sense of it

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So sorry for the loss that has brought you here, but here is a good place to be - we all know first-hand the crushing emotions... My wife died in 2014, eleven months after being diagnosed with brain cancer; we'd been together 37 years. I was in a fog for at least a year; still cannot make sense of it. You'll find many angels on this site.

I truly hope this group will be good for me , I don't understand why anything I do makes me sad without him, even something as stupid as staining the deck, making the decision for the color, watching the eclipse, just every day normal stuff 

For me at first everything got me down, because we did everything together. She was my heart and soul, I was her geek. I couldn't talk about her to anyone without tearing up, eventually I could share memories with our kids (adults) and family without bursting into tears, recently I've been able to talk to close friends.
However, talking to care givers (like a doctor appointment) I simply cannot do without breaking down - my wife was the Care Bear, you see. It helps to talk to her, which I do every day throughout the day.
It also helps to visit here often, to hear from others who *really* know, and to share the burden. We're not crazy, we're grieving. I think the path is different for each of us but collectively the same for all of us.

Deborah....I'm sorry for your loss, more so because this is the second time you've had to experience this loss.   I lost my husband in Jan 2016 at the age of 52.  We were married 27 years and together a total of 30.  Even now I have what I call "the guilt of living"  It's better now but in the beginning I couldn't do anything without feeling guilty about it.  Something as simple as taking a shower and I would think "what right do I have to do this when Ken can't".  Same with eating a meal, going to work etc.  Even yesterday watching eclipse, I was thinking of him and wishing he could have experienced it with me.  What you're feeling is normal.  Our spouses were such an intricate part of our lives that without them, we're lost and nothing makes sense.  For me, I didn't realize there was such a thing as feeling normal until I lost him.  I hope you'll be able to find some comfort in our group.

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my wife of 23 years October 2015, she was 43. You have found a place with people who understand what you are going thru because we have been there. I have found that reading the encouragement between members has helped me alot.  You are welcome here and there are people reading posts almost all the time. 

Hugs,

Mike

Welcome to the group. I lost my wife in 2010 and this group is what helped me deal with my loss the best. Everyone here has experienced what you have experienced and  will be here to listen and give support. 

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