Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by DJ on August 21, 2017 at 12:05am

So sorry for the loss that has brought you here, but here is a good place to be - we all know first-hand the crushing emotions... My wife died in 2014, eleven months after being diagnosed with brain cancer; we'd been together 37 years. I was in a fog for at least a year; still cannot make sense of it. You'll find many angels on this site.

Permalink Reply by deborah peck on August 21, 2017 at 8:54pm

I truly hope this group will be good for me , I don't understand why anything I do makes me sad without him, even something as stupid as staining the deck, making the decision for the color, watching the eclipse, just every day normal stuff 

Permalink Reply by DJ on August 22, 2017 at 10:17am

For me at first everything got me down, because we did everything together. She was my heart and soul, I was her geek. I couldn't talk about her to anyone without tearing up, eventually I could share memories with our kids (adults) and family without bursting into tears, recently I've been able to talk to close friends.
However, talking to care givers (like a doctor appointment) I simply cannot do without breaking down - my wife was the Care Bear, you see. It helps to talk to her, which I do every day throughout the day.
It also helps to visit here often, to hear from others who *really* know, and to share the burden. We're not crazy, we're grieving. I think the path is different for each of us but collectively the same for all of us.

Permalink Reply by Sara Murphy on August 22, 2017 at 11:35am

Deborah....I'm sorry for your loss, more so because this is the second time you've had to experience this loss.   I lost my husband in Jan 2016 at the age of 52.  We were married 27 years and together a total of 30.  Even now I have what I call "the guilt of living"  It's better now but in the beginning I couldn't do anything without feeling guilty about it.  Something as simple as taking a shower and I would think "what right do I have to do this when Ken can't".  Same with eating a meal, going to work etc.  Even yesterday watching eclipse, I was thinking of him and wishing he could have experienced it with me.  What you're feeling is normal.  Our spouses were such an intricate part of our lives that without them, we're lost and nothing makes sense.  For me, I didn't realize there was such a thing as feeling normal until I lost him.  I hope you'll be able to find some comfort in our group.

Permalink Reply by Michael Smith on August 21, 2017 at 12:21pm

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my wife of 23 years October 2015, she was 43. You have found a place with people who understand what you are going thru because we have been there. I have found that reading the encouragement between members has helped me alot.  You are welcome here and there are people reading posts almost all the time. 

Hugs,

Mike

Permalink Reply by Chicago Beard on August 21, 2017 at 3:05pm

Welcome to the group. I lost my wife in 2010 and this group is what helped me deal with my loss the best. Everyone here has experienced what you have experienced and  will be here to listen and give support.