Its been a very long time since I have been here. As some of you already know my husband passed away from cancer in June 2010 at the age of 40. I didn't want to live after he passed away. All I could think about was the pain I felt from my heart shattering in a million pieces never to be put back together again. Then I found this site and I was welcomed with open arms. It was nice to know there are many caring and compassionate people here who are willing to listen to your story, feel your pain and give you words of encouragement even though they are going through their own person hell. This site has helped me so much and I would like to say Thank you to everyone!
I am no longer in the same dark place I was when my husband passed away. With help from all of you, friends, family and God, I have been able to finally get on with my life the best I can. I decided to sell my house, quit my job and move to another state to start life over. I felt this was necessary in order for me to move on. Don't get me wrong the pain is still there and I'm afraid it never goes away, but you can and will eventually learn to live with it. Everyone is different and will heal in their own time. I still have bad days, but I also have good days now too. I miss my husband and what we had together, but in my heart I know I will see him again someday and that keeps me going. Hugs & Kisses to you all <3
I give you such courage to move on and away. I am also feeling the need to move away from the town that my Husband Michael and I lived in. I feel that I can't go on in this town where we spent so much time together, It is like I feel the need to change my surroundings and friends and make new friends and new surroundings with the new me. I have learned through this process of grieving, that I have to become a NEW ME, I am no longer Michaels wife, Michaels friend, Michaels business partner. I am just Lori and I am again a person alone. Your writing has brought me to my knees. I don't want to start over but it is what I must do...I am only in the 7th month of my loss of my love Michael , I feel his presence all around me and that gives me such comfort to keep going on. I know that I must make this move and it just gives me such courage to hear that you did it and it seems to of been a good thing. Thank you for your post it gives me the courage to do what I know in my heart that I need to do this
. God Bless you in your journey and we all must remember during this road we are on that one day we will be face to face with our loved one and again will hold each other like we always did before they left us.I so look forward to that day, but until then I/We must go on with our life here on Earth.
Lori & Faith,
It was just too hard for me to stay in the same house and town and keep the same friends because everywhere I went was a memory of my husband. Not that I want to forget him because I never will. We were married 18 years, but as Lori said I am no longer Jerry's wife. Those are hard words for me to swallow but it is the truth. I am a new me and need new surroundings and new friends to help keep me moving forward. 2 years ago I would have never even thought that possible to move forward, (I was in such a dark place) but I have and that makes me a stronger person than I ever thought I was. One thing that really helped me was to stop sitting in the house and to get out and do things whether I wanted to or not. I am thankful my family and friends were patient with me and helped to push me into doing more. When Jerry was alive we never sat home. We were always out doing something. The more I got out the more I started enjoying life again and that gave me the strength to move from NY to FL. Prayers are with you both.
Kim, so nice to read your letter. I too lost my husband in 2010, I am 52, but only found this site recently.
I wish I could get up and move I feel this would help me, but in some ways I have gone in the opposite direction, to continue with his work. I think it is tearing me up, but I feel I don't have a choice. Nice to read you are now more able to deal with everything, gives me hope. Thank-you for your post.
I am glad that in your own way you were able to begin to move on. Like you I lost my husband but it was four year ago. I let my house go and moved to another state after my mom death 3 months ago I moved with my 85 year old father. It like i fainally made peace with his death. Like you I always remmber him. thanks fr sharing kathyjo