June 26, will mark three years since losing my wife Dawn to cancer and heart disease. There was a time when I would go mountain biking, come home and tell her about my rides. I haven't ridden in awhile now, last few times I did; I came home like any other time to an empty house (almost).
Our dog Mira welcomes me, but not seeing Dawn on the couch, or coming home from shopping has a big impact on me. Theres no one to say "I'm home" to, she's not there to answer me back. My home feels like a museum now, a t.v that barely is turned on; since I watch most everything in the bedroom.
I also lost my job shortly after Dawn passed, due to a berating boss that kept harrassing me to "ask to work overtime," this, while my wife was in an Intensive Care room dying. I reported him for discrimination; two months later they severed me in Dec. 09' that ended a twenty two year employment. That is a whole other bad time I won't get into here.
In 2010 my father-in-law and two aunts passed away, my father-in-law was ill and his health went downhill after my wife passed, he even left messages that he'll be wih his daughter. The two aunts; one was my uncle's wife, the other was a woman that was like my aunt, cancer took both of them. This third year feels like it all happened just yeaterday, yet it feels like an eternity, not having a job hasn't helped either. I sit here and type in a very quiet home hearing the louvres move to the slight breeze, one day last weekend I could swear I heard Dawn call my name, but I heard it in my inner ear.
Coming here and reading other peoples posts has helped me alot, my sympathies to all of you. Where do I go from here? I meant to post much earlier and didn't know where to begin; now I'm not sure where to stop.
I am sorry that you have to be part of our group here but I am glad you found us. The best advice I can give you is take things with your life as you can deal with them. For some people it's a day at a time, for some, it's minute by minute. Just keep doing the things you are doing, including finding a job, but always remember to take time for yourself whenever you need it. Find a private spot to shed a few tears when you need to. Just always remember you have one thing no one can take from you, that is the memories, treasure them.