Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Chicago Beard on April 5, 2015 at 3:34pm

Jennifer, you have come to the right place. Everyone here has gone through or is going through what you are going through. This site helped me deal with losing my Rose in 2010 better than anywhere else I went to or anyone else I talked to. Those two cuties in the picture with him I am assuming are your children. They need their mother. They are grieving as well. Anniversaries, birthdays and holidays are the hardest and when they fall on the same day it makes it that much harder. Everyone here is supportive and accepting of everyone else. You do not NEED to move forward but I still encourage you to do so. Grief does get easier with time but never fully goes away. Even though I am in a new loving relationship I still miss my Rose every day. Come here often for support. You may even find yourself giving support. I am sending you a big virtual bear hug. I hope it helps. Be as well as you can.

Permalink Reply by Barbara Sullivan on April 5, 2015 at 4:19pm

Jennifer -- I don't know if I can help you, dear friend!  I can barely help myself.  I lost my husband and dearest love of my life 2 years ago.  We were together for 20 years -- the best 20 years of my life -- and, the last two years have been the worst.  I know what it feels like to want it to end -- I know what it means to look into the future and find it empty, without purpose.  I know how it feels to be high-jacked by grief, just as I begin to think I am getting better.  You know how all this feels, too.  You want answers and I don't have them.  I go on because I don't have the courage to stop -- and I stop because I don't have the courage to go on.  At some point, I believe I will decide what I want the rest of my life to be -- and, then I will have a purpose.  I just know that I want that chance -- and, I want you to have that chance, too.  So, we keep on -- we put one foot in front of the other for as long as we can -- then we rest -- we give ourselves permission to cry, to rant, to shake our fist at God and the world -- then we begin again, putting one foot in front of the other.  Grieving a spouse, I have learned, is not something we 'get over' -- we 'get through it' by going through it -- experiencing it, to the very depths of our souls.  On the other side of grief, I believe, is wisdom, compassion, spirituality -- an emptiness and a fullness -- our profound loss and the totality of the human experience.  Those who never love, never grieve.

I will keep you in my prayers, Jennifer.

Hugs,

Barbara

Permalink Reply by Elizabeth C on April 6, 2015 at 3:43am

Jennifer, I can relate, I lost my husband of almost twenty years three months ago suddenly. I am 44 with a three and a half year old. I go from doing kind of ok to saying God take me now to trusting in God for my future. I must go on and my child is my biggest reason, if I didn't have her I would have to find another reason but since I do it makes that decision clear. Life is really short, I try and think, he just went first, right before me, and we never know when our time will be. I am still lost in grieving fog, I feel like I'm being tied up with rope emotionally...I have no control over this situation and that is heart wrenching. I just pray for peace, strength and direction and will pray for you as well. You look like you have two great kids who need their Mom. All of us on this forum feel the same things as you, we are all in grief, you are not alone. May God comfort you, he loves us as hard as that is for us to believe when we loose those we love, but I hang on to that, even when I have doubt I hang on. Hang on.

Permalink Reply by diana ribbenthrop on April 6, 2015 at 11:27am

Welcome   Please  hang on   It does  get a bit easier as time goes by.   Life is precious , try to get  out as much as possible.   Possibly volunteer..take a class, join a group,  mentor a student.  We are all on this difficult journey   But do NOT give up.  Talk to friends and family.   We are here to help .