I was wishing the other day that I had someone who cared for me. And then I really got to thinking about it. Because that wasn't what I really meant. I know my children care about me, they love me. My siblings care about me. And I also know you all care about me, as I do about you.

 

I wasn't thinking about it in the sense of taking care of me if I were ill or as I get older. Although, someday that may be an issue, and I worry about it. But that is down the road.

 

The more I thought about it. I think the word I was looking for is some one to "watch" over me. I miss having Jim say, what are you doing? How are you feeling? When I leave the house. There is no one who will miss me if I'm late, and worry. No one to ask how my day was. No one to make sure my car is running as it should. Watching out for me, as I did him. Oh, I miss a lot of other things, the hugs, holding hands, completing each others thoughts.etc. I have never lived alone before, there was always someone watching, my parents and then my husbands (in my case, I have been widowed twice), and the children that were still young, the time I lost my first husband.

 

There certainly is a difference in being alone and being lonely. . The void that is left, when someone dies, like half of you was wriped away. The plans for the future that are no more. As time continues to go by, the magnitude of the loss eases but longing for the little things grows larger. I continue to pray that we all find the peace and comfort we desire. Hugs to you all.

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This is certainly a subject we all can relate too. We all miss the "love" between our spouses and miss the things only he/she would understand or feel with us. The intimacy of the simple things we became accustomed to, even took for granted. I can still remember as if I could hear Martin telling me to get in the bed on several occasions when I was so tired I fell asleep in front of the TV, fully clothed. He wanted me next to him and also wanted me to get a good nights sleep. The funny thing is I always barked at him to let me be. I was fine on the chair and begrudgingly, after several attempts drug myself to the bedroom. Now I just stay on the chair but wished I could hear him just one more time.

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