Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by bc on September 14, 2010 at 8:42am

Hi Basia, Our wedding anniversary fell in the same week as Brad's birthday and Father's day so it was a tough week for me. I decided on our anniversary to do something that Brad and I loved to do together. After alot of tears and memories going through my head all day I went to the cemetery at sunset, which was our favorite time of the day. We would watch the sunset and plan the next day. It was peaceful for me, I sat there and asked him to give me the strength that he always had done, and of course there were tears, but tears are good, they are healing so let them come. My advice to you is to plan something that you did together and enjoyed. One more thing...I've been through all the firsts and I've found that the anticipation is the worst, when the day actually gets there its not as bad as you imagined it would be. Yes, it is sad and the 2nd's, 3rd's and so on will still be hard but talk to your husband and ask him to help you and he will! I will be thinking of you and hoping that you have some positive days ahead of you. Love You! Hugs always!

Permalink Reply by bc on September 14, 2010 at 8:42am

Hi Basia, Our wedding anniversary fell in the same week as Brad's birthday and Father's day so it was a tough week for me. I decided on our anniversary to do something that Brad and I loved to do together. After alot of tears and memories going through my head all day I went to the cemetery at sunset, which was our favorite time of the day. We would watch the sunset and plan the next day. It was peaceful for me, I sat there and asked him to give me the strength that he always had done, and of course there were tears, but tears are good, they are healing so let them come. My advice to you is to plan something that you did together and enjoyed. One more thing...I've been through all the firsts and I've found that the anticipation is the worst, when the day actually gets there its not as bad as you imagined it would be. Yes, it is sad and the 2nd's, 3rd's and so on will still be hard but talk to your husband and ask him to help you and he will! I will be thinking of you and hoping that you have some positive days ahead of you. Love You! Hugs always!

Permalink Reply by Nancy Satterthwaite on September 14, 2010 at 9:53am

Wow Barb, you took the words right out of my mouth. I think doing something that you both enjoyed on your anniversary would be a great way to celebrate the love you had together Basia. Barb is right, the anticipation is sometimes worse than the actual event.
My husband died May 1, our Anniversary was May 4, three days later. Of course I was numb, and hadn't even buried my husband yet which I did on May 6. My 27 years old son, sent me white roses on my Anniversary which is what my husband always sent me. Of course I cried my eyes out, but the touching jesture will never be forgotten. When I thanked my son, he said, " Your welcome Mom, I am the man of the family now that Dad is gone."

Permalink Reply by bc on September 14, 2010 at 9:11pm

Nancy, you had it rough, so close to your anniversary losing your love. Your son sounds like a wonderful young man, you've got the support of family which is important, and of course from us on Legacy. I don't know where I'd be without all of you. God Bless!

Nancy Satterthwaite said:

Wow Barb, you took the words right out of my mouth. I think doing something that you both enjoyed on your anniversary would be a great way to celebrate the love you had together Basia. Barb is right, the anticipation is sometimes worse than the actual event.
My husband died May 1, our Anniversary was May 4, three days later. Of course I was numb, and hadn't even buried my husband yet which I did on May 6. My 27 years old son, sent me white roses on my Anniversary which is what my husband always sent me. Of course I cried my eyes out, but the touching jesture will never be forgotten. When I thanked my son, he said, " Your welcome Mom, I am the man of the family now that Dad is gone."

Permalink Reply by Nancy Satterthwaite on September 14, 2010 at 9:51pm

Barb,

My son is a wonderful guy. 27 years old and has his Doctorate in Pharmacy. He also did two year Residencies in Clinical and Cardio Pharmacy to understand more about what his Father's medications were and how to monitor them. Ironically, his Final Paper/Report was on Cumadin,( Blood Thinner) which is exactly what killed him, he bled to death.
He finished his second Residency 4 weeks after his Dad Died. His Dad was so proud of him, and couldn't wait until he finished and got the "Great Job." He started the great job August 4, at the Florida Hospital of Orlando. I just wish he Dad could have lived long enough to see it. But reading your posts, I know you too have great faith, and know our love ones are there with us always, so I am sure he is watching over him too.

God Bless you too,

Nancy

Permalink Reply by marlene westerlund on September 15, 2010 at 8:30am

Hi Basia, My husband passed away on august 31, 2010 and our anniversary fell on sunday Sept 12, 2010*which is also grandparents day, so after I returned spending the day with my grandchildren, I came home and found a dozen red rosed with a card by my front door*it hit me so hard, I almost thought he had come back*this was this little hope *silly me*my step daughter had come by and left it, I took two roses to the graveside and put my music on and then had a healthy cry.

Permalink Reply by Nancy Satterthwaite on September 17, 2010 at 10:20am

What a special Step Daughter you have. What a thoughtful jesture.


marlene westerlund said:

Hi Basia, My husband passed away on august 31, 2010 and our anniversary fell on sunday Sept 12, 2010*which is also grandparents day, so after I returned spending the day with my grandchildren, I came home and found a dozen red rosed with a card by my front door*it hit me so hard, I almost thought he had come back*this was this little hope *silly me*my step daughter had come by and left it, I took two roses to the graveside and put my music on and then had a healthy cry.

Permalink Reply by bc on September 17, 2010 at 9:01pm

Where would we be without our families? It sounds like many of you have very thoughtful and caring children and stepchildren as I do. It's a tough life we've been given to go through but I for one am thankful that even though Brad left way to soon, he left me with great family & friends. He didn't leave me alone even though I feel alone. At those times, I think about what gifts Brad has given me....and all of you also, I don't know what I would do without all of you, we understand each other. You all are a great help to me in my lonely times, I can vent to you and you don't mind. Love you all!

Permalink Reply by Deborah Kelly on September 18, 2010 at 6:47am

My husband and I always celebrated not only our wedding anniversary but the day we met as well. For me I lost Tim on August 1 and our meeting date was August 10. We had Tim's service on August 8. The 10th was hard but I still had family here. Our wedding anniversary is October 13 and Tim's Birthday is October 24th. I'm really not looking forward to these days but I think I will take everyones advice and do something that we enjoyed doing. My step daughter was to emotionally hurt to even remember me on grandparents day (well thats at least what she said) boy it would have been nice to at least have the grandkids call to wish me happy grandparents day. Oh well I guess thats how it goes. She has to live with herself. Its nice to see that are still kind people in the world.

Permalink Reply by debbie on September 20, 2010 at 7:35pm

reply from deb 9/19/10 on wedding anniversary..have now been through 2 wedding anniversaries..this helped me..naturally go to the cementary and talk..got out the last anniversary card he gave me and set it out ..went and got flowers ...put on his vase and brought my home..celebrated 35 years bought my ring we talked about..this year got his family and our kids and grandkids and went to our favorite restaurant. point is still make a special day.