What do i do now....

I would really like a friend (or more than one) that is experiencing a similar situation to mine. I am 46. My husband was 36. I have a grown daughter and a son in college and my husband's son is 10 and lives in another state. We had no children of our own. We have been married almost 7 years. He was in a horrible automobile accident on April 16 and had to be removed from life support on April 18 due to the severity of the head injuries. The accident was not his fault. He was only going about 35. Someone pulled out in front of him and his vehicle rolled. We were together almost all of the time since we lived and worked together in our own business. I am just lost without my best friend. I have a lot of family and friends but most of them have returned to their normal life and they have no idea what I'm facing each day. My mental health has always been good. I don't mind being sad because I don't want the memories to fade at all but I just feel so alone right now. I miss my husband.

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Permalink Reply by Dee on May 13, 2012 at 7:41pm

Hi,

Please accept my condolence. I'm 46 years old and my husband Jessie(45 years old) have been together for 25 years and married for 22 years. My Jessie fell off his work truck on March 3rd and was pronounced brain dead on March 7th. We have two adult children and 1 granddaughter. Jessie was my world and best friend too. We were inseparable. I do pretty good during the day however at night is when I break down. I'm at a total loss. Night after night I come into our room and I feel so alone and empty. I miss my Jessie with every breath I breathe..........I will be praying for you.

Your new friend Dee

Permalink Reply by Leeah C on May 13, 2012 at 8:16pm

Dee,

Thank you for your reply. I am so sorry that you have an idea what I am going through. Nights are hard for me, too. His nurse suggested I take a Benadryl each night and I have taken one every night but one. I'm not sure I would sleep without them.

Permalink Reply by janeo on May 13, 2012 at 8:47pm

Leeah, sorry you had to come to this site. But this is a place to be. We are all here to help ok so never feel alone.

Permalink Reply by Jackie Biggs on May 13, 2012 at 9:10pm

Leeah -
I am so sorry you are going through this. I do know exactly how you feel. I lost my husband November 16, 2011. I felt like a part of me was ripped away. I am 43 now, he was 56. Just as in your situation, my friends and family have long returned to their normal lives. They have no idea what I go through and that I an still trying to figure my new normal. I too continue to search out others who can understand my loss and pain and I can understand and feel theirs too.
Your loss is still so new and raw. You are probably still numb and trying to wrap your head around this terrible and unexpected loss. I hate that you are having to go through this pain - it is unbearable and physically hurts. Please don't hesitate to message me directly if you want to talk or cry or be mad at the world for being so unfair. We all need people around us to listen and who have been there and understand.

- Jackie

Permalink Reply by Julie Stearns on May 14, 2012 at 6:33am

Leeah, I am so very sorry for your loss, my husband passed from MRCC Kidney cancer anyway he was53 and I am 48. I also lost my son in an auto accident almost 6 years ago. This group is amazing and will walk with you, listen to you and help in anyway. There are no rule in this journey other than to breath, I honestly do believe only the good die young and God just doesn't want a heaven full of the old jpeople. I look forward to hearing about your husband and I know you will love this group as much as I do. hugs my sad friend Julie

Permalink Reply by Bethany King on May 14, 2012 at 9:31pm

Hi Leeah,

My husbands passing was diffrent to yours but its only been 6 weeks although it feels like yesterday.

I cant sleep and my husband to was my bestfriend we did everything together as we had 5 children between us, i have two daughters 8 and 14 and my husband has three sons 11, 8 with autisim and 5 with autisim. I currently dont have my step sons as their mum who walked out on them 4 years ago and has had nothing to do with them took them because she couldnt handle their autisim took them while i was at the hospital with my husband. People always say to me DONT YOU HAVE A FRIEND YOU CAN TALK TO. they just dont get it my husband was my best friend. i not only lost my husband the day he passed but our three boys and the child i was carrying. what family i do have also have just gone on with their lives and cant understand why i cant. I to dont mind being sad because i want the memories and feel alone all the time. people say to me your only 30 you's were only married 4 months you will meet someone else when the time is right and it makes me so angry for if i wanted someone else i would have married someone else. my husband was my everything, after a very bad domestic violence relationship 9 years ago i was so lucky to have found a wonderful and amazing man like my husband we were together 2 years and would have been married 5 months 4 days after he passed. im just trying to find people who know what im going through. losing your life partner is so hard

Permalink Reply by Vee on May 14, 2012 at 9:36pm

Leeah, I know exactly how you feel. I went out on Sunday, January 8, 2012, and felt I had the world by the tail. When I came back home, my best friend, the love of my life, my Lawrence was dead in his favorite chair. That was four months ago, and I am still reeling from the pain, shock, and loss. Yes, everybody has gone back to their normal lives in my case, too. The nights are almost unbearable. I have found profound comfort and support here. I truly think the people here have saved my sanity! You have definitely come to the right place.

Feel free to message any time. You will have good days and bad days. My mind is filled with more questions than answers. I sometimes feel I've reached a new normal, and all of a sudden I'm thrown back to square one, but that's okay. Nobody can tell you how to grieve, but we can all be here for you. Just know that as I pray for myself, I pray for you and all the others on this path.

Warm hugs and prayers!

Permalink Reply by Carinda Mickelsen on May 15, 2012 at 12:27am

Hi everyone,

I think my husband led me to the board here tonight. It's been one month today since he lost his fight with recurring kidney cancer. He fought to be here for our youngest sons high school graduation and our oldest sons wedding, then hung in there for another two weeks, to pass away on his own birthday. Our 27th wedding anniversary is May 25th and I am in the same situation with all of you. Everyone has resumed their lives and it's just Kevin (our youngest) and I now.

The days are fine but I sometimes feel physically ill knowing that I have to be home each night without him. After almost 30 years of being together every day, the loneliness can be so overwhelming. Joe was my best friend and the one I shared everything with. It seems like the little random things affect me the most. Commenting on a TV show, laughing with him when I read something funny or just sharing my day with him. I'm lucky to have my son still at home, but it's never going to be the same.

I truly believe that Joe is healthy again and that he is here with me, but i miss holding his hand, snuggling on the couch and looking into his beautiful blue eyes.

Permalink Reply by Julie Stearns on May 16, 2012 at 3:28am

Carinda, you are right that life will never be the same again but this group is amazing and I simply adore them. My husband passed away 5 months ago from Metastatic Renal cell carcinoma and was in the most incredible pain, how how is your hubby? I am so very sorry for your loss, I pray we can help in any way. hugs Julie

Permalink Reply by Julie Stearns on May 16, 2012 at 3:30am

Carinda, I meant to type how old is your hubby? so sorry it look like Iwas being insensitive, so sorry

Permalink Reply by Carinda Mickelsen on June 2, 2012 at 11:56am

No problem Julie, no offense taken. Joe was 62. I just celebrated our 27th anniversary on May 25th and was very touched by a cousin who posted on Facebook, "Happy Spiritual Anniversary". I didn't realize how much it means to have people acknowledge milestones, until they don't.

Permalink Reply by jaime tyree on June 2, 2012 at 1:24pm

hello, my name is jaime . i just lost my whole on may 5 and feel like i just dont belong anywhere anymore. i married into 5 children and we had one together , i have 3 out of the 6 that still live with me . my husband had a massive heart attack while at work. i didnt et to the hospital before they stop working on him.we have been together almost 13 yrs and just had our 12th of marriage. he passed away 4 day after our anniversary.