OK, I know I'm thinking about this because of the month. My Kevin fell at home, on a Sunday morning (thank God I was home) on 10/19/08 & cut head near eyebrow real bad. He did not want me to call squad, I tried to get him upright & take him to car & my neighbor tried to help, but we had to call the squad. He had fallen 4-5 times in prior 3 wks. I had decided a few days before the last fall (last time he was home) to tell our doctor when we went on Tues. (He was seeing her monthly since being dignosed cirrhosis 2 yrs prior). He had pnenounia, so that was why he had been short of breath & fallen. Within 12 hrs he was on ventalor.On the 28th I was told my his doctor they had to take him off ventalor & but in a trac (sp)/respirator, you can't be on that for no more than 10 days. He had a Living Will & I met w/doctor (along w/his brothers & sister/his Mom in assisted living w/dementia). They left it up to me; knowing him better then they did. Removed the ventalor @ 2:30 PM. He was able to wake up, look at us, but could not speak. He seemed to know who was there & followed me when I'd get up w/his eyes. He was moved to Pallitive (sp) Care floor @ 9:30 & passed away at 12:35 AM on 29th.
I'm feeling guilty this past week or so that I should have gotten him to the doctor sooner. Regrets, guess that is what it is. I feel like I didn't take the best care of him I should have
Hi to all, I just wanted to say that I cannot imagine that pain and second guessing that alot of us have.I have lived thru LouAnn's 3 heart attacks and 4 seizures.I never gave it that thought that she would really die and she didnt. She never was scared and we never talked about the dying part.She always pulled thru it.Of course I was scared outta my wits anyway.She had been fine for a couple of years and died suddenly during a nap.I heard her die and saw her dead.That will remain with me forever.We didnt have to say goodbye or want that one more wish actually. We were 24/7 with each other and was very content for 24/7.I was never mad or angry, I was and am very disappointed. From family and friends that disappeared and my love of 44 years,gone.All I can say is that when its time, its time.And it is in our nature to second guess and think that there could have been a differant way to have done it.The loss is terrible and we would do anything to change it.We cant and we must carry on their legacy thru us.They fought to the end and we must too.We need to be the brave ones now. And its not easy.As they say, baby steps. Hugs to all. Hugs are good.