WARNING: For my brothers on this forum this is not for the faint of heart, but for those that have the fortitude to get into some personal women's secrets then ... saddle up; dig in those spurs and get ready for the ride of your life.  For my sisters on this forum you'll know what I mean:

I've been crying on and off for a year and half and it is exhausting as we all know.  This year I decided to pick on 'me' (always been like that) to turn the crying to laughter when it is possible so I wanted to share some of the truths about myself and I hope you all find it entertaining.

I'm the one with the great weight loss (40 lbs. in almost 2 years) and my nickname is 'fluff' ... blow on me and I'll just drift away like a dust bunny!  Showering isn't easy for me as the pressure of the shower pushes me to the end of the bath tub and I'm mighty fearful of slipping down the damned drain!  Once I got out of the shower and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror ... screamed ... and thought some crazy old bag had broken into my house.  After I realized it was me who needs a GPS ... I can read a road map on my own face!  My dogs put their heads down and cover their eyes with their paws. I dare not go around the house naked because my two dogs keep watching me and slobbering (must look like a tasty bone ... the meat is sweeter closer to the bone they say.)  I had a good mind to report myself to the SPCA 'cruelty to animals' as my ribs show and my flanks are sunken and my other thoughts were I could get better medical help from the SPCA than the docs I'm seeing.

Clothing ... you gotta be kidding!  I have no butt (use to have one and now I'm hoping for one for Christmas instead of my two front teeth!)  I have decided that I'm going backwards in time to puberty and with any luck my face will follow. 

I was frustrated trying to buy clothing that didn't fit me well and I began to think of what I could do about it.  I need shape ladies and gents soooooo, I ordered a new butt from Sears and the only disappointment I have is I can't order a totally new body or face to go with it! Don't get my butt until September 26th and I'm excited!  I'll either look good or when I sit down I'll be blasted out of my chair and plastered on the ceiling.  At least I'll have some 'booty!'  

They say going to the spa relaxes you and since my eyebrows look like two bushes growing out of my face I am hoping the spa has enough wax to make me look more human.  From all the crying I have done up until now I don't know where most of my eyelashes went so I'm getting eyelash extensions. I am also trucking in (special order) plaster of paris to the spa in order for those wrinkles to vanish. 

So everyone, they say if you have lemons thrown at you make Lemonade and that's just what I'm doing.

They say crying cleanses the soul, but laughter is the best medicine of all.  So pick on me .. I love to laugh and trying to get it back.

With much love

Marcy    

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Replies to This Discussion

"Clothing ... you gotta be kidding!  I have no butt" you should do stairs. whenever you can avoid elevators and escalators. ;)

Hey Kevin ... I never take elevators or escalators and always walk stairs!  I'm starting resistent training with my trainer Matt next month (muscle weighs more than fat!)  LOL

Marcy you did make me laugh. this weight loss thing is the pitts. when my Husband died I just stopped eating and I told my grandson I am going to have to put rocks in my pocket to hold me down. Thanks for the pick me up. Jean

Thank you for the smiles.  Sounds much like me.  I've also lost 40 lbs...in a 5 yr period..2007 Don massive heart attack - 10 lbs gone.  2009, Don bypass surgery - 10 lbs gone.  July 2011, my beloved mom died - 10 lbs gone.  Losing Don June 26, 2012, 10+ lbs gone.  Funny thing, I never gained any of it back in the 5 yrs. But I had that much to lose anyway, now if I could just stop losing, how do you do that?  I'm afraid of getting sick.  I'm only 4' 11"...used to be 5'1".

I don't want to "pick on you", but thanks for the offer, lol.  And thanks for the smiles...

Jane, glad you got a giggle or two. I'm 5' 6" and weigh 91 lbs.  I do eat, but can't seem to pack on the weight no matter how much I try. You sure don't look old to me!  I had a laugh at 'an old prune in a new sack!'  I can't believe you actually gained weight when Dan passed.  I was about 140 lbs. when Ernie and I were waiting for his surgery; then running up and down to the hospital twice a day for well over two weeks; the shock he was not going to make it and then his death.  When I had his 'Celebration of Life' at the Chapel where we got married I was in a size 8 (Canadian size) and now I'm into a size 2.  I worry I won't stop losing weight.  Having big time stomach trouble from all the stress and the doctors sit there looking like deers caught in headlights.  I feel alone and fearful of what is to become of me and can't imagine any type of future for myself.  At this point in time I just don't have the confidence or the energy to volunteer or get right out into society to do something to take my mind off things.  I do out for dinners with friends or go to movies and I do entertain some of my girlfriends in my home.  I keep busy as I've told you before, but nothing seems to fill the hole in my heart.  I agree that beauty is only skin deep and it's what is inside of us.  Thanks for the lovely compliment, but too bad others in our lives don't realize it.  We live in a society of physical attraction first.  I have never felt so old in my life. 

Good idea about putting weights in my shoes so I don't blow away.  Ha,ha.  I'm trying to enjoy life, but in a fog since Ernie has passed.  I keep chugging away though.

Thanks my friend and hope you are having a wonderful day.

Hugs

Marcy  
 
Jane Policcio said:

Marcy, you have me laughing and crying!  Yes, I too went down to 90 lbs at 5'7" I was thin and know exactly how purchasing clothes was a huge problem.  I am old so even though the junior clothes fit a little better then most I looked like an old prune in a new sack! Then when Dan passed I was so concerned on loosing more weight I gained it instead!  Now my size 2/4 are replaced with 6/8!  Mostly 8! Then I think, are we ever happy with our outer appearance with ourselves? Then I realize beauty is only skin deep and it is what is inside that makes a wonderful person and you my friend have the inner beauty.  You can make people laugh and cry, you can bring smiles to so many teary eyes and you have a gift of expression.  So my friend put some weights in your shoes, so not to be blown away, and enjoy what you have! Life!!  Hugs, Jane P

Jean .... glad I got a giggle out of you.  I find that it is difficult to get create and just cook for me so I only eat to survive.  I laughed about 'rocks in your pocket.'  How long did it take you to put the weight back on Jean?

 

Marcy
 
Jean McClintock said:

Marcy you did make me laugh. this weight loss thing is the pitts. when my Husband died I just stopped eating and I told my grandson I am going to have to put rocks in my pocket to hold me down. Thanks for the pick me up. Jean

Hi Jan ...

Glad you got some smiles.  It is so easy for the weight to sneakily just slip off.  You have been through so much so I can well imagine the weight loss for you. I was a good weight until Ernie went into hospital; visited him twice a day and ate on the run; then his death; then my pets death and two friends who also passed away.  I wasn't paying attention to me and suddenly I realized how much weight I'd lost.  I was 140 lbs. and now down to 91 lbs.  As I say I eat, but the stress seems to burn it off.  I wouldn't worry about shrinking an inch or two because that is expected when we get older.  I am almost an inch shorter than I use to be. 

I don't mind some funny sayings towards me; if I don't laugh I'll cry.  I hesitated to put the post up, but thought if it gone a smile or two from some of you it may brighten your days ahead.  Glad I squeaked a smile or two out of you.    
 
Jan Fridrich said:

Thank you for the smiles.  Sounds much like me.  I've also lost 40 lbs...in a 5 yr period..2007 Don massive heart attack - 10 lbs gone.  2009, Don bypass surgery - 10 lbs gone.  July 2011, my beloved mom died - 10 lbs gone.  Losing Don June 26, 2012, 10+ lbs gone.  Funny thing, I never gained any of it back in the 5 yrs. But I had that much to lose anyway, now if I could just stop losing, how do you do that?  I'm afraid of getting sick.  I'm only 4' 11"...used to be 5'1".

I don't want to "pick on you", but thanks for the offer, lol.  And thanks for the smiles...

Marcy I never did gain the weight back my chlorestlor went out of sight when I stroked the nurses told me they had never seen chlorestor (ms) so high and  I  was 4'll but the last time I went to the Dr. I was 4'10 if i shrink anymore I will have to use a stool to go to the bathroom. and my weight was always 98 when my babe died it went down to the 70's and I guess that is where it will stay. but I won't need those rocks because now I can't walk anyway. Oh well I do feel alittle better when I read everyones comments at least I know I am not really losing my mind its just my heart. Jean

I am so sorry Jean that you have had so many health issues.  At least you have a good sense of humor about shrinking and using a stool to go to the bathroom.  I think past 55 years of age we all shrink to a degree.  From hearing what is happening to you and others on this forum I wish I could be more thankful and feel blessed for what I do have, but this grieving takes so much out of a person and I'm not young anymore where I can go back to work and feel productive.  I have been the caregiver in both families for a very long time and gave up a lot of my own life so now it's really difficult to pick myself up and figure out a direction to go in.  When my Ernie went my heart went with him.  I agree that it's nice to come to forum and realize we aren't losing our minds, but like you it's my heart and I doubt that will ever be complete again.

I appreciate you being so candid about your weight loss.  I was beginning to think I was the only one that was having difficulties.  Most people during grief put weight on, but oh no, I just have to be different.  Ha, ha.

Hope you are having a better day Jean.  I'm praying I can get through this day.

Marcy
 
Jean McClintock said:

Marcy I never did gain the weight back my chlorestlor went out of sight when I stroked the nurses told me they had never seen chlorestor (ms) so high and  I  was 4'll but the last time I went to the Dr. I was 4'10 if i shrink anymore I will have to use a stool to go to the bathroom. and my weight was always 98 when my babe died it went down to the 70's and I guess that is where it will stay. but I won't need those rocks because now I can't walk anyway. Oh well I do feel alittle better when I read everyones comments at least I know I am not really losing my mind its just my heart. Jean

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