My name is Gail. On May 8, 2010 I lost my sole mate to a very rare cancer that took him in three months. I have two step daughters with lives of there own several states away. I must say that they visited as often as they could and we were in constant telephone communication.
The weekends are so difficult. I have friends who want to do lunch, but they are all married and again have their own lives. I live in Pa. with no family.
I went to my first grief meeting which was helpful. Fortunately I have my dog who is by my side all the time, but my social life is at the dog park.
I think I am doing o.k. I realize that Bob's illness was so sudden I know he was in no pain., but How do I go on. Since we had no-one in Pa we seemed to just do things together, therefore did not really bond with many people here.
I am no longer working, and am unable to find work. I know most of you say you have your faith, but right now I am just mad at God.. Any suggestions?
Hi Gail, welcome to the site, I am so sorry to hear about your loss, you are at the right place. I lost my husband very suddenly and unexpected 1 yr and 10 days ago. We were best friends, soul mates and spent 24/7 together. That day was the only day I didn't go to the store with him. He left the driveway and 30 seconds later suffered cardiac arrest and was gone instantly. I wish I had another chance to hug him before he drove off, all he did was smile and wink and said "I'll be home in a few minutes". How true, he was "home" in a few minutes. I miss him terribly and still cry and am lonely, but this site is the best thing I could have ever found. You will make so many new friends who understand exactly what you are going through and they are always here for you, no matter what.
I also joined a local Grief Support group near my home which meets once a month. It will be a hard journey, I'm not going to lie to you, the pain of a broken heart will last forever, but it somehow gets a little easier to live with. On the anniversary of Brad's passing, Aug 5th, something happened, I don't know what, but from that day on, I've been trying, really trying to be positive. I look at it this way: Brad was my rock, he taught me to be strong, he taught me how to do just about anything to survive, most of all he gave me a wonderful life full of love. The least I can do for him to make him happy is to be strong, be positive and live the way he wants me to. He never liked to see me cry, he would always cheer me up, so now when I have a "meltdown" I talk to him and he is helping me. I will never be the same person again because part of me left that day also, but the part of me that is left will make him proud so when we meet in heaven someday, he will hug me and tell me so. Chin up, if you ever want to vent, cry, talk, whatever, I'm here for you. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org, my cell is: 414-852-3422. I live in Wisconsin so I'm on CST. Hang in there, Hugs to you!
GAIL: FIRST OF ALL I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS I LIKE CONNIE AND OTHERS GET VERY ANGRY AT GOD I BLAME HIM FOR MY LOSS. I KNOW HE IS NOT BUT I HAVE TO LATCH OUT AT SOMEONE I YELL AT MY HUSBAND AND QUESTION OVER AND OVER AS TO WHY DID HE LEAVE ME. I ALSO HAVE FAMILY I HAVE 2 SONS WITH CHILDREN I DO NOT WANT TO BURDEN THEM ON HOW I REALLY FEEL. I PUT ON A HAPPY FACE BUT WHEN I GO HOME AND BE ALONE IT IS A DIFFERENT STORY,. GAIL THE OTHER THING I CAN TELL YOU IS STAY ON WEBSITE THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE THAT ARE GOING THRU WHAT YOU ARE RIGHT NOW I LOST GEORGE 3/1/09 AND BELEIVE ME I AM STILL ANGRY STILL CRY AND YELL I WENT TO SEE A COUNSLOR SHE HELPED ME IN THE BEGINING UNTIL I FOUND THIS WEBSITE I LEFT THIS SITE AT LEAST 2 TIMES BECAUSE I FELT I COULD HANDLE MY GRIEVING MYSELF BUT I COULD NOT SO I RETURNED AND FOUND MANY FRIENDS THAT ARE GOING THRU TOUGH TIMES SO OTHERS THEN ME GEORGE DID NOT SUFFER HE HAD A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK BUT I CAN SAY ONE THING I GOT TO TELL HIM I LOVED HIM AND HIM TELL ME HE LOVED ME THAN WITHIN 1 HOUR HE WAS GONE. AGAIN MY SYMPATHY ON YOUR LOSS.
i am so sorry for your loss. i know how difficult it can be . i lost my spouse on feb 26th 2010 . also lost him to cancer within three months of diagnoisis.i also can relate to the lonely weekends. that is when my husband and i had our quality time.i used to live in pa. back in the 60s and 70s. i lived near valley forge. then moved to texas in 1980. i am finding the loneliness is what really gets to me the most. my husband and i did everything together he was my best friend.i never really felt like i needed anyone else. but i didnt ever expect him to die i guess.now i feel so lost and lonely . i can also relate to connie, because i feel so jealous when i see all these happy couples that seem to pop up everywhere.i never even noticed them before and now that my husband is gone i see them everywhere.i miss my husband so very much. i feel like my chest is going to explode with the pain i feel.i dont know why God couldnt have taken me instead of my husband.he could have coped with this lonely life alot better than me.i hope that you will find this website helpful and may GOD BLESS YOU.
Hi to all, I am so sorry for our losses. Harriet, you said it good that you arent crying for him anymore, you are crying for "you". That is exactly what I cry now for, me. You know they are okay now. That everything works and they are not suffering. But wow, we are the ones left behind to stumble around and trying to find some way to cope. Hugs to all.Hugs are good.
Hi Gail, my wife died suddenly and was cremated also. I have her ashes on the puter top. Am saving up the money to spread her ashes in Colorado, where we lived for 10 years. I realize that when I do this it will finalize my wife's passing. That will be a time I hope I can handle. I will also want the pastor to say a blessing when we leave to do this.Hugs to you.Hugs are good.