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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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Just a reminder to all of you over these next few days. The weather reports all over are talking extreme heat. Those of you out West have even warmer temperatures than here in the Midwest or East. Please keep well hydrated by drinking plenty of water. Hopefully all of you have air in your homes. If not, please find a friend or relative that has air and see if you can go there. Otherwise, find out where the cooling centers in your neighborhood or town are and use them. Please take care not to over exert yourself and check in here.

Discussion Forum

Faking...

Started by Michelle. Last reply by Tonya Janowski on Wednesday. 10 Replies

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Started by Kim Henry. Last reply by MJ Sep 29. 8 Replies

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Comment by Tatjana Kowand on February 29, 2012 at 9:37am

Thank you Julie, Diane...and everyone...yes, first breathe, deep breath in and long, slow exhale...today is 10 weeks since Michael's passing and I simply can't believe that he is not coming back, that it has been so long already, that it feels like last week, instead. I am strong and capable, as we all are, but there are simply moments that we all fall apart for whatever reason and no clear reason at all, other than this is the Journey of Grief. I walked beside Michael on hi Journey with Cancer and now this is my Journey, our Journey and it is, unfortunately, a part of this Circle of Life.

it is just sad how the death of a loved one can cause some people to create such drama for us...sometimes it is because of their own grief and sometimes they aren't grieving for that person at all, but needing to create painful issues to make themselves the center of attention. 

Has anyone else here had to deal with family or friends that suddenly became cold, distant, cruel, etc?

God Bless you all today and every day...Hugs to you!

Comment by Diane Marante McDonough on February 29, 2012 at 8:00am

I lived through two more firsts, the 8 month mark and his birthday.  I thought I sailed through them until yesterday when the shoe dropped.  I cried and layed on the couch all day.  I guess I needed it so I gave into the pain, let it out and then watched The Waltons and Little House on the Praire all day long.

I hated the first time I was confronted with the "widow" box also, it does seem inconcievable to me as well.  How do we go on without our soul mates.  This is the hardest journey I have ever NOT wanted to be on.

Comment by Jane P. on February 29, 2012 at 5:47am

Barbara, You not  only can have my prayers but I offer you my feet and legs to help you walk through this, my ears to listen to you when you need to talk, my arms to put big hugs around you, my shoulder to cry on but most of all I give you my friendship to listen  unconditionally when you need it the most. Hugs, Jane P.

Comment by Julie Stearns on February 28, 2012 at 11:19pm

Nicole, I am 48 years old and have never been with anyone except my husband of 32 years and I have recently joined eharmony just to see what it might feel like to have another man interested.  Ihave been with this man since I was 15 so I have no clue how to even day or if I am even wanting to...the site take up lonely time in the evenings.  Hugs my friend we will do this we are in this together.

Comment by Julie Stearns on February 28, 2012 at 11:05pm

Ladies, I wanted to share this with you so as to maybe help you explain the tears to your children,  after losing my son, all I did was cry and my daugher began to feel alienated.  I told her the tears were healing my soul and that one day, some day, Iwould be OK.  unfortunately it took over 2 years and she said to me one day. Mom, "I am still here" don't you love me as much as Kyle"  I guess what I am saying is OMG how we miss our spouses but don't let the ones with you on this earthy plain slip into the pain, I lost the last 5 years of my husbands life because I was so distraught by kyles's passing... Life can always get worse. hold on to those you love today!!!!

Comment by Julie Stearns on February 28, 2012 at 10:56pm

Vee, I am sure it took great strength to share with the group the loss of your dad, You are an incredible lady and you should be proud of the woman you have become!  Hugs and Love

Comment by Julie Stearns on February 28, 2012 at 10:51pm

Barbara, Prayers are on their way!!! I am so sorry for the panic attack, and all of the pain you are going through, but my dear look for the good somewhere there has to be a glimmer of good in the world, when things seem darkest...God is there!

Comment by Julie Stearns on February 28, 2012 at 10:46pm

Shannon, As long as he know you love him, somhow you will manage.  I know cuz my daughter 22 was terrified after Jim left cuz when my son passed away I quit living for 2 years.  She and I are all that is left as soon as she knew I would be "ok" she followed suit" so to speak.  Love conquers all. and I know my guys are in heaven watching over us and happy they are together again.

Comment by Julie Stearns on February 28, 2012 at 10:38pm

Shannon, sending you hugs andyour son also,  You are a good mom and as long as he sees you doing ok, he will be ok.

Comment by Julie Stearns on February 28, 2012 at 10:37pm

Tatjana, breath...one moment at a time and somehow we have to muttle our way through this hell.  We have loved ones counting on us and My belief is I will see my familiy again it I do a good job here on earth.  Hugs my friend, we are here for you.

 

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