Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Nov 22, 2017. 2 Replies

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Comment by Faith J. on August 27, 2012 at 6:04pm
Abby I've felt like my faith was failing at times too. That's when God uses the people around me to support me when I can't stand on my own. That's why even when I feel the worst emotionally, I make myself go to church anyway. I never know when God may speak words of comfort to me through someone there.
Comment by Abby boerner on August 27, 2012 at 5:58pm
I have faith, too, but find it very hard to feel the peace that people keep telling me I will feel. I am so alone and without. And right now, it seems that it is hard to look ahead and think it will get better. I bet I have bought 15 books on grieving.
Comment by Faith J. on August 27, 2012 at 5:53pm
Janice, I understand. Much as I use my faith, I need the human touch & understanding. I'm grateful to have people that are helping me through this difficult time.
Comment by janice shannon on August 27, 2012 at 5:46pm

Yes Faith I know, if I didn't have my faith I do not want to think where I would be, I guess that I was more so addressing the earthly issues.  Jesus is always there and some days I talk to Him almost constantly but I guess as far as goal oriented, I'm not, that was kind of what I was trying to say. 

Comment by Faith J. on August 27, 2012 at 5:36pm
Janice I understand what ur saying completely. Paul died suddenly on May 24, 2012. It's so to voice that I'm no longer married after 12 years. That seems such a short time to be married. Sometimes I cry seemingly all day & sometimes I feel ok & think I'm going to b alright. One thing that keeps me sane. That's my faith in Jesus. It doesn't keep bad things from happening but He gives me peace in the midst of the storm.
Comment by janice shannon on August 27, 2012 at 5:29pm

Lori I do so know what you mean about being just me,  it has been 4 months for me since my dear husband passed away suddenly.  I am trying desperately hard to realize that I need to drop the "we thinking"I am not that person anymore, in my quest to discover who I am now I have bought things that serve no purpose, changed things til there is nothing left to change.  But tragically there is one thing that I can't change I am no longer happy.  I have accepted that my old life is dead and its up to me to find my new life but I really don't see that I have one.  I have had moments when I thought I heard my husbands voice and a few dreams but i guess this is all there is  i guess I am having just a really bad day.  Prayers for everyone....Janice

Comment by Abby boerner on August 27, 2012 at 5:22pm
Lori, thanks for sharing that. It sounds similar to our situation when Karl passed away. I have some good moments and am hanging on to the hope that good days are coming. I wish you the best...please hang in there and I will too.
Comment by Lori P. on August 27, 2012 at 4:51pm

Abby, It has been 5 months and 1 week since my husband Michael passed away. So I am 1 month ahead of you in this grieving process. I usualy don't comment on this site becaue I feel and would say just what everone else is going through and feeling, I want to comment but then the tears come on and I just can't .... but as I read your  comments that you were their when Karl passed is just the way it happen to me. Michael was in a semie coma because he was on a ventulater. I sat with him day in and day out and just kept talking to him. I hope that he could hear me... Then he went into cartic aresst and passed. That very night I had a dream, that Michael called me on the phone and said Honey, I have to go home but I don't want you to be alone. I will always be with you.......I begged him to please come home to me.... then I woke up. It was so real... I know it was his way of saying good-bye . I have dreams now in fact the other night he was trying to teach me how to use the cd player. A few weeks befor he passed he had this system sur-round system installed and I told him you better show my how to use it. Well that never happen. All I can say about this grieving process , I have good days and then I have really bad days. I am a different person now, I am no longer Michaels wife, I am just me. I am so sorry for your loss and just keep in touch with all of these wonderful people on this site, they will help you like they are helping me.  I also want to thank all of you who comment on this site, it does help those of us who just can't come to bring ourself to write yet.


Comment by Faith J. on August 27, 2012 at 4:33pm
Jean same w/ me when I read Jane's posts. Actually most of the people who have responded to me have offered me strength & encouragement.
Comment by Carol Kayser on August 27, 2012 at 4:31pm

I hope you do too Abby:)  They bring such comfort.  Thanks - she is pretty adorable!  My hubby was a Canada Customs Officer.  Though he was born and grew up in California and he wanted to be a state trooper when he was a kid.  I am so sorry, Jack was 57 - he had to retire too Abby, from the same thing.  Just so incredibly sad.


Four children - beautiful and strong I bet.  I am sure you and Karl were/are very proud of them.


Please stay in touch, as Jane says.

Sending blessings for strength - it will ease Abby, it will.


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