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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

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Comment by Carol Kayser on September 1, 2012 at 1:08am

Well here I am at the end of the day - a day I literally dreaded.  I think I was feeling so unwell all week because of the build up to today (evening).  I felt so close to Jack today, and I actually spent a lovely day with my sister and my little granddaughter, who just spreads joy and happiness wherever she goes - just like her grandpa did!  You know I don't think there is a person walking among us that hasn't suffered some kind of loss and perhaps they don't speak about it, but should you share yours with them it will surprise you how they react.  It's almost a sense of relief for them that they can talk about it to you.

Jean - especially for you, that it is so hard to share with family.  I have one daughter very open to anything and one who doesn't talk about it very much, so I am learning not to pressure her, but it is hard.  They share in their grief together for example, without me.  I learn more of how they are feeling through their Facebook posts, and that is the way of the world these days.  I am ok with it, and I am glad they have a loving community around them too. 

I am truly truly glad Jean and to everyone, to be able to share and yes Jean, like a 2nd family, a "safe family" to share with.  You go ahead and talk to us and your pictures and your husband, I sure do:)

 

Hugs,

Carol

Comment by Faith J. on August 31, 2012 at 10:18pm

Jane, I know. It's just that this is a place I can b totally honest.

Comment by janeo on August 31, 2012 at 10:16pm
Faith, I'm so sorry wish there was something I could say to take away your pain. I'm actually speechless. I miss Richie so i understand how you feel.
Comment by Faith J. on August 31, 2012 at 10:11pm

Oh, how I miss him.

Comment by janice shannon on August 31, 2012 at 2:55pm

Dear Jean, I really have to agree with you that getting this new life going isn't really all that it is cracked up to be.  I am facing an anniverisary... 4mos the first and I have really been having a very difficult time, I feel the grief weighing on me.  I have tried over and over to ditch the "We" thinking in order to discover me but I just find that I don't really have a me yet. I do have family but they can not really help me with these difficulities.   I guess what I am trying to say is don't loose heart if you think everyone is moving on because I am not.  So it is that some of  us are still going over and over the same ground again.  You are right  that you can sit here and talk, I do it from time to time.  I think that you are very strong, even in strength we have our weaknesses.  God Bless You Jean.. Have a nice Labor Day Weekend.   Janice

Comment by Mac on August 31, 2012 at 9:47am

Hi all, I get a peaceful moment when I read all the comments. I too feel that talking about my Babe makes me feel warm inside but my daughters change the subject every time I don't know if its too hard for them still or if they think its upsetting for me I have tried to tell them I love talking about him but I am just giving up so I look at our pictures and talk to myself. I keep saying I want to go to his grave but no one offers. The access a ride will not take you without a time to return and I cannot tell them how long I would be there. I am so glad to hear that everyone is moving on and learning to accept what is and going forward with your life and its good to hear that most of you have loving families to share your thoughs and pain with. God bless all of you. I get my most comfort from just reading these and I sit here and talk to myself and remember how happy we were and things we did  together I've decided if I can't set and talk to my family I can sit here and talk to my other family and my husband at the same time  I wish I could be as strong as you but I am really trying . God bless all of you Jean

Comment by Faith J. on August 31, 2012 at 9:37am

Jane, this is so true. But, it's also so hard. Feelings are tenacious & don't want to change. My feelings say that Paul was the best part of me so what's the use? Faith says that God knows the plans He has for me. It's a struggle w/in me between feelings & faith.

Comment by janeo on August 31, 2012 at 9:34am
We must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
By Joseph Campbell
Comment by janeo on August 31, 2012 at 7:27am
Carol, I wish you nothing but peace. Talking about Jack and and sharing memories are a comfort more than pain.

Jane
Comment by Carol Kayser on August 30, 2012 at 11:06pm

Betsy & Nancy, for me too - 2 years tomorrow, August 31st I lost my sweetheart Jack.  Like Maggie I go from doing everything to nothing, to not wanting to be bothered.  I too have taken the day off work, too much to bear.  I am though planning on taking my granddaughter and meeting my sister in town and then later my family and we will just sit and share laughter, hopefully of their dad.  I may release a balloon too.  Today I donated some $ in his memory in cause of cancer research. 

 

No Betsy, it really isn't any easier, this new life of ours.  Nothing has really changed much for me, but I am hopeful next year it will:)

Nancy, I hope you will be surrounded by your loving family, they sound wonderful. 

 

Big Hugs to us all - I think we need them!

Carol

 

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