Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 16. 4 Replies

New Member

Started by Susan. Last reply by Marsha H Sep 2, 2018. 5 Replies

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Comment by Carol Kayser on September 29, 2013 at 11:30pm

Dear Helen.  I know what you mean, those male comforts can bring on tears so easily.  Hugs are one of the things I miss the most about my husband.  It was those hugs that made me feel safe and loved.  I understand and I miss that too. 



Comment by Helen Duncan Hutchinson on September 29, 2013 at 3:45pm

Mac   Everything you said is exactly how I feel.   I went to a home exhibition yesterday and watched all these people ordering new kitchens etc and thought to myself why are they wasting time and money on material things when we are all going to die shortly and the most important person in our llives has already died so why are all these people buying cushions and things.    I have just had my shed completely emptied so my executors don't have to do it so I am really preparing to go but how long will I have to wait to see my love again.   Just everything you said resonated with me, even down to food not tasting the same.   Mind you I now bung a ready meal in the oven whereas I would have lovingly cooked a casserole for Morley but don't see the point for just me and in any case, I don'' enjoy anything so what is the point.   I wish we all lived closer and could meet up because none of my friends understand any of the above feelings and are very impatient that I am not "over it" by now, as if I'd had flu or something.

Comment by Helen Duncan Hutchinson on September 29, 2013 at 11:37am

A friends husband met me with a friend in a supermarket yesterday and gave me a hug, cue tears.   He was afraid he had upset me but it was the manly hug that is what I so miss with Morley gone, just knowing he was here.   We had over 30 glorious years together and I know I am so very lucky to have had that but  it makes his absence all the harder to bear.   The loneliness is a killer and this house is just that a house, no longer a home with love in it.

Comment by Helen Duncan Hutchinson on September 29, 2013 at 11:34am

Barbara.   I am so very sorry to hear about your sister but am totally with you on the wishing it were you instead.   I feel I am existing not lliving and have nothing more to give to this world so why oh why can.t I just go and join Morley.   I dread each dawn with yet another day to face without him.

Vee   I am with you re the empty shell.    As I say above I feel I have nothing more to contribute on this earth.   I worked for 40 years and was care giver to both parents and now all I want is to be allowed to go and join Morley.   We were a formidable team and would be so wherever we are sent.    This pain seems to get worse with every passing day not better and the tears get shed every day often in the car so no one can criticise me.   What lessons are we meant to be learning going through this horrendous and never ending grief.   I just want it all to be over please.

Comment by Frank Andrews on September 29, 2013 at 7:11am


 I am going to Mass this morning and will say a special prayer for your sister and family. Thinking of all.  Hugs.

Comment by Jane P. on September 29, 2013 at 3:29am

Dearest Barbara, I am so sorry to hear of your sisters  prognosis.  This news is devastating which will take the wind out of your sails. Take each day as a new beginning and learn to breath.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.    Hugs, Jane P.


Comment by stacey on September 28, 2013 at 10:23pm

Hello everyone just checking in. I need to ask you guys for a favor for me. My mom is going in for a biopsy on her breast and we're hoping for good news. I need some extra prayers my ways if you could help me with that it'd be great. It's also 9 days away from it being a year that my husband died I'm not looking forward to the day, but a week after that my other support group starts. I'm loving bowling so far its a great night out with the ladies.

Comment by Vee Herrera Michrina on September 28, 2013 at 8:44pm

my identity is an empty shell now.

I am an empty garden


Comment by Vee Herrera Michrina on September 28, 2013 at 8:43pm

A loneliness that NO one else can fill. I cannot bear to know its true! that my precious Barry is gone! or worse that he will not come back to me, it's so dam painful to even imagine it. I want him here to talk to, to hug , to see that smile, to hear that belly laugh, that scolding (loving O UALL GET THROUGH THIS??????????? It's so awful! the worst, the  hardest. I , wow! one minute at a time...

Comment by Mac on September 28, 2013 at 11:20am

Cheryl 6 months seems like the same as it would be yesterday I lost my Husband  Oct 2009 and his birthday was yesterday and I still cry,I just do not feel whole anymore and I do know the daze we go thru its like a dream and we are going to wake up but it just goes on and on the whole world looks different now and material things do not mean anything anymore, food does not taste the same even the tv shows seems meanless even when you hear someone is ill you feel for them but it does not do anything for the cuting knife in your chest. guess I am not making much sense I think Marsha, Jane, Jane and Carol could make more sense than I can but I am so sorry you and all of us have to be here.




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