Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Patricia on November 10, 2013 at 10:45pm
Sometimes I wonder where the until "death do you part" comes from. The world I knew doesn't exist and I don't know the one in which I now live.
Comment by Mark Jackson on November 10, 2013 at 9:31pm

Cheryl - I'm so sorry it's been a hard day. It seems like a lot of us here have our loved ones birthday and our anniversary in the next 2 or 3 months. I for one am not looking forward to it. Cathy loved Christmas. We didn't have kids, so Christmas was just us, and my dad. She would call my brother (who lives out of state).She was the glue that kept us together. Now with her gone I'm not sure what is going to happen. I just want to sleep though the next 2 months.

 I think that for a lot of us that since this is our first time going though this season with out  our loved ones it will be the hardest, that's not to say it will get any easier, but I think its partly not knowing what to do since our world is turned upside down, or how to handle anything. We just need to remember  breathe and take it one step at a time. It may not seem like it now, but we will make though it some how. I know I'll be posting a lot, it does help.

Stacey- That is great news about your mother. 

 Your all in my prayers.



Comment by cheryl holbrook on November 10, 2013 at 7:18pm

Today has been a hard day, Mike would of been 58, my first one without him in 33 years. I still feel like Im lost and out of sorts. And still have alot the next couple months ahead. :(

Im so sorry for the new one that have had to join out little "social" group of grief. There are many here with lots of wisdom, encouragement, love and support.

Nothing you are feeling or going through, is nothing new here and it sure helps knowing the feelings are not abnormal , yet its all seems to make some sort of sense when you see others dealing in the same ways. And when they say they know what you mean, they really do.

Stacey - glad your mother is ok 

Jan - thats so nice of you to take a trip in memory of your husband. Thats such a touching idea and memory with the kids.

One day at a time .. Cheryl

Comment by Patricia on November 10, 2013 at 6:20pm
Thank you for your comment. This is a place where we can take our sreps alone together
Comment by lois leonard on November 10, 2013 at 6:20pm

This Christmas, Thanksgiving, my husband's birthfday are all a first for me and I am not doing well.  I already gave the Christmas tree to t he Goodwill, gave some ornaments away but there were so many personal ones I could not give those away.  I bought a 12' garland to go around my mirror and that will be the extent of it.  This was my husband's favorite time of year with all the decorations, and all the wonderful food.  I just want to go away.

Lois Leonard

Comment by lois leonard on November 10, 2013 at 6:13pm

I am so happy to have found this site as it is so appropriate in my situation and people always say "Oh I know how you feel."  They do not.  This group of people "get it" and that is so important.  Keep posting, it is very helpful.  Lois Leonard

Comment by Barbara Sullivan on November 10, 2013 at 7:59am

Marsha H -- You are such a wise and wonderful friend!  Ernie was blessed to have you.  Thank you for your words of encouragement.  You will probably never guess how much you have helped.

Stacey -- So glad your mother's biopsy was negative -- wonderful news!

Patricia -- I agree so whole-heartedly!  I thought I was losing my sanity until I found this forum and so many friends here who reassure me.

Jan -- I think it is wonderful that you are planning a Christmas trip with your son and daughter.  I think,sometimes, when we have lost a spouse, we need to strengthen those bonds with other members of the family -- and your Christmas trip is such a good way to do that.

Comment by Marsha H on November 10, 2013 at 3:29am

Jan ...  You certainly are not a coward.  Even though we all have some things in common each person deals with their grief in their own way and you aren't the first one on here that has gone on a trip either because they intended to go with their spouse not knowing they would pass away or, to just go away for some rest and relaxation if possible.  Christmas is always extremely emotional even for people with spouses and family so you aren't running away from anything. Perhaps next year you may be able t handle Christmas, but for now go away and try your best to enjoy your trip and new surroundings with your daughters.



Comment by Marsha H on November 10, 2013 at 3:26am

Stacey ...  I am so happy for your mother and you!  I just had a feeling she would be fine.  What a wonderful early Christmas present!  There is strength in prayer for those who choose to believe.

Big hugs (one for your mom)


Comment by Marsha H on November 10, 2013 at 3:24am

Patricia ...  It is so nice to hear from you and this forum and the members have helped me so much through the pain of grieving.  It makes us realize we are all normal in our grieving and helps us down this unknown road of grief.  Losing a spouse is much different than losing a parent and there is no book of instructions as to how we handle our grief.  It's baby steps and we are here to help you all we can.




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