Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

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Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Patricia on November 13, 2013 at 10:24pm
Not excusing your family but have you given them permission to talk freely even though it triggers healthy tears.
One of the 1st things I said to my children and grandchildren was that I was okay with feelings and talking. I acknowledged that we'd probably all cry butthat was okay too
Comment by Charley Solyom on November 13, 2013 at 9:49am

Cheryl...I hope Monday went well. I was thinking of you. It was a snowy cold day here. I pray the week is well with you. Charlie

Comment by cheryl holbrook on November 13, 2013 at 9:28am

Helen -  so sorry to hear that your appointment didnt work out. Thats just not right . If it were us not showing they would have a problem.

Patricia - I can relate a bit of not knowing where you fit in. I too find myself wondering where I fit in now in this life.

Wilela- Happy Anniversary to you, I hope the day goes on and you able to look back on the memories and make it though this tough day. Mike and I have one coming up Dec 15, would be 34 years, so my heart and thoughts are with you today.

Diane - thx for the post and the encouragement. I am thankful for the ones here that help to lift up another when they are feeling down.

Carol- thanks for sharing the memorial service experience with us. That must have been tough in more than one way for you. Glad you were able to go.

Comment by Marsha H on November 13, 2013 at 4:22am

Wilela ...  I pray you got through the day as best you could. I have been thinking of you.  Know that many of us feel the way you do on those special occasions whether we keep ourselves busy or not. 



Comment by Carol Kayser on November 13, 2013 at 2:24am
Barbara, a beautiful sharing, thank you. My father was British, and was very proud to have served in the British Merchant Marine. It is so touching to see veterans be so incredibly moved by the recognition which they so richly deserve. What very special memories for you and glad you have that wonderful picture too. Very glad to hear the Canadian troops were also highly thought of by your Chris. They do serve with dignity.
It's nice to talk about this with you.

Comment by Barbara Sullivan on November 13, 2013 at 1:59am

Wilela -- thinking of you.  Hugs

Comment by Barbara Sullivan on November 13, 2013 at 1:56am

Carol -- My husband served in the British Navy.  I will never forget the time when we visited the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Washington,  Chris wept as we witnessed the ceremony of the changing of the guards -- and when we went to London, he proudly led me to the memorial for U S soldiers .  He was proud of his service and one of his recent thrills was when our town recognized veterans -- and posted his picture along with our local U S veterans.  I have that picture -- it is on the first page of an album i made for his memorial -- along with a picture of the ship on which he served.  Chris became an American citizen in 2002, but he was also a proud subject of the UK.  He always supported our troops as well as those of Canada and the UK -- I am so proud of him.

Comment by Carol Kayser on November 12, 2013 at 10:55pm

I went to a Remembrance Day service yesterday (Veteran's Day in the U.S.).  It was very touching, I cried.  My husband Jack and I would go, not always as he had broken his back and couldn't stand for great periods of time, but he tried really hard and while my dad was alive, I know he appreciated it greatly.  So they were mentioning about groups laying wreaths, they mentioned a group my husband worked for, that made me cry and be sad.  Even so I am glad I went because it was a beautiful service.  We will never forget.

Comment by Carol Kayser on November 12, 2013 at 10:49pm

Wilela, just thinking of you on your day, and hoping you were able to get through it and perhaps have some nice memories.  We will never ever forget or long for our loved ones. 




Comment by Patricia on November 12, 2013 at 7:23pm
Thank you for your welcome. I'm in sort of a neither/nor place.
There's no "home" that I can call home.
I had planned for retirement so Al could have qualiy grandchildren time. We were visiting our daughter and family to make living and other other moving arrangements when he died suddenly.
Until that afternoon, the trip had been such a positive vaction with all of us feeling great about the planned move.
He died
The plans to relocate were already made. I had no close ties other than work and the girls felt I should go forth with the plans.
So within a month of his death I was packed and moved to a new area. Yhey have their family unity and I can't use them to fill this big empty hole
I'm not at home within myself so I don't reslly feel at home anywhere.
I don't really want to be here but neither do I want to be anywhere else eithet.
It appears that first I need to feel at home within myself.
This is my 3rd month without an us.
There are many people I already knew in this area and they are very supportive. They are thete and all I have to do is ask but I really don't know what to ask for.

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