Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by Mary. Jane on Sunday. 15 Replies

I used to love long week ends.

Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6. 2 Replies

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Comment by Diane C on January 13, 2017 at 11:27am

Dear Sara and Gretchen, I know how very difficult this day is for both of you. I got through my 1 year anniversary 4 years ago on Aug.1, it was also our 26th wedding anniversary. Such a sad bittersweet day. Rich died on our 25th wedding anniversary. He hung on for 33 days in Hospice. I think for sure he was waiting so we could say we made it to 25 years. But I am also here to tell you two and Corey that it will get easier to handle with time. It will be 5 years this year for me. I miss Rich every single day of my life, but the extreme heart break is not as intense. It will always be there, but I guess you learn to cope with the pain and loneliness. I wish you all comfort during your journey.

Comment by Deb S on January 13, 2017 at 11:07am

Dear Sara, Please take special care of you today. You have reached the one year mark and it can be an extremely difficult day. The song that Ken wrote for you is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing it here.  Debbie

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on January 13, 2017 at 9:48am

Dear Harold,

I have been reading all your posts as you approach your one year anniversary of losing your beloved beautiful Diane. I just want to tell you that I understand your feelings of anger, and everything you have described about how Diane's love made you feel better about yourself is so deeply moving to me because that is how I felt when I met Larry.

I have seen over the past year such strength and compassion displayed in all you have shared here. Very quickly you reached out to even newer family members, and I have been so proud of the way you have supported everyone, most definitely including myself many times.

Diane was indeed a blessing in your life, as you were in hers - I believe she is near you every moment silently guiding and protecting you.

Wishing you a peaceful day and weekend -



Comment by Corey on January 13, 2017 at 9:42am
Sara and Gretchen, I hope the day is tolerable for you both... I don't dare say good bc I know that's not possible. Hearing how difficult it still is for you guys and those of you who have 5,10 or more years under your belt makes me scared as hell for my future. I can hold myself together when I'm with my kids but I can't imagine feeling this terribly sad and alone for so many more years to come. Guess this is the hand I've been dealt and I can't change it but I'm really mad about it. Im going to reach out to a therapist soon to figure out how to get past the angry feelings.
Comment by Charles E. Nelson on January 13, 2017 at 9:25am

Dear Gretchen,

I hope your weather out there does allow you to have some peaceful time by the lake with Ethan - the picture in my mind of you strolling together is one of great beauty even with it's sadness in your longing for Paul. My thoughts and prayers travel across the country to you both today -



Comment by Charles E. Nelson on January 13, 2017 at 9:22am

Dear Sara,

The verse from the song Ken wrote you is so very beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes. Nothing could ever possibly take the place of such a perfectly matched soul mate for you. I am sending my prayers and love today, and know Ken will help you through today - he watches and protects you every minute.



Comment by Gretchen G on January 13, 2017 at 8:38am
Sara, my heart is with you today as you deal with the one year anniversary.
I hope you take some time for yourself to just let out all your feelings.
Hoping the rain stays away here in LA for a bit this morning so I can take Ethan on a walk around the lake near our house - some quiet time for the two of us as we go through our 2 year day.
Comment by Harold McKinstry on January 13, 2017 at 8:25am


Sorry you have to go through the Anniversary no one wants. It's almost a year, at times it seems like yesterday other times, long time ago. Me and Diane were set up by friend at work, we always messed with each other. Finally his wife called and said I don't blame you for not trusting Ted you can trust me she is nice I think you would like her. We set up a double date but wanted to meet first. We met at an Antique Place when she got out of the car,  and I saw her she said I had the biggest smile that made her feel good. Half way through the date I told myself don't screw this up I think we could have something special. She told me she felt the same way too. Hope you have a tolerable day Sara.

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 13, 2017 at 6:46am

Good Morning, today is one year since I lost the love of my life.  I can't believe it's been that long, it seems like just yesterday.  On the positive side, I'm now one year closer to being with him again. 

At some point before we got married (in May 89), Ken wrote a song for me and although I didn't realize it at the time because I was so young, he knew instantly that we were soul mates.  In fact, he told me on our second date that he would marry me.  This is a verse from his song that indicates I was his soul mate:

"Now I need you for a lifetime, the other half that makes me whole.  You've become such a part of me, to lose you now would mean the end.  Our spirits begin to intertwine, your thoughts have become mine.  Two souls joined in one, a bond between cannot be undone"

I don't know how he knew, he was only 22 when he wrote that.  Truer words could not have been spoken.

Comment by Marsha H on January 13, 2017 at 5:05am

Brenda ...  Having problems with the link where you sent your message and will keep trying.




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