Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1315
Latest Conversations: 1 hour ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Struggling with reality

Started by Corey. Last reply by Marsha H Feb 14. 4 Replies

Nine days and a whirlwind of emotions.

Started by Tiffany Phillips. Last reply by Sara Murphy Jan 27. 12 Replies

My love.

Started by brenda may. Last reply by Marsha H Jan 12. 10 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Marsha H on January 13, 2017 at 3:57pm

Dear Sara ...  My heart and spirit are with you on your Anniversary and if we could only wish for one second we could see our spouses one more time.  I too feel that each year that goes by is one year closer to being with Ernie. 

The song was absolutely beautiful and brought tears to my eyes.  How special that was Ken wrote such profound words at such a young age.  I have said often on Legacy that we didn't accidently meet our soul mates, but it was meant to be and we are so fortunate to have had that in our lives.

When Ernie and I renewed our vows on our 25th Anniversary he dedicated this song to me (although he told me often he loved me years together were often frantic and we had a lot to deal with l regarding ailing parents and tend to forget just how much we meant to each other so he felt this song was perfect to dedicate to me:  I cried then and it still makes me cry.

I can tell you Sara that this years Anniversary for you will be difficult, but as the years go by the heartache isn't so intense.  Know that all of us are thinking of you on this special day.  Ken is there with you!


Comment by Sara Murphy on January 13, 2017 at 3:44pm

Hi Todd......It's good to hear from you.  Thank you for the support.  Hope you're doing relatively well.

Comment by Todd B. Goodrich on January 13, 2017 at 12:04pm

Dear Sara,

Sending you great love, support and prayers to you today!

Hugs for you,


Comment by Sara Murphy on January 13, 2017 at 11:38am

Marsha......I hope these new "young" friends will help fill the void in your life.   Age is just a number, it's really how you feel that matters.  You're probably more compatible with 50 yr olds than 70 yr olds with all that energy you have.  I hope you enjoy your night out.

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 13, 2017 at 11:31am

Thank you all for your kind thoughts.   The outpouring of support is what does make the day tolerable.  I'm actually at work today because I have too much going on here to take the day off.  I'll go to dinner tonight with friends.

Gretchen......I know today is the 2 year anniversary of Paul's passing.  I'm thinking of you and Ethan as you navigate your own sad day.

Corey......I wish I could say it's gotten easier but it hasn't really, at least not by much.  I've come to accept it because, what choice do I have?  If I could wish him back to me, he would have been back a minute after he left.  I think seeing a therapist is a good idea.  You need an outlet for the anger you feel.

Harold.....It's funny, Ken and I were a blind date too.  And pretty much the same as you and Diane, as soon as we met we were connected.  It was just so easy.  That's definitely the sign of a soul mate.

Comment by Diane C on January 13, 2017 at 11:27am

Dear Sara and Gretchen, I know how very difficult this day is for both of you. I got through my 1 year anniversary 4 years ago on Aug.1, it was also our 26th wedding anniversary. Such a sad bittersweet day. Rich died on our 25th wedding anniversary. He hung on for 33 days in Hospice. I think for sure he was waiting so we could say we made it to 25 years. But I am also here to tell you two and Corey that it will get easier to handle with time. It will be 5 years this year for me. I miss Rich every single day of my life, but the extreme heart break is not as intense. It will always be there, but I guess you learn to cope with the pain and loneliness. I wish you all comfort during your journey.

Comment by Deb S on January 13, 2017 at 11:07am

Dear Sara, Please take special care of you today. You have reached the one year mark and it can be an extremely difficult day. The song that Ken wrote for you is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing it here.  Debbie

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on January 13, 2017 at 9:48am

Dear Harold,

I have been reading all your posts as you approach your one year anniversary of losing your beloved beautiful Diane. I just want to tell you that I understand your feelings of anger, and everything you have described about how Diane's love made you feel better about yourself is so deeply moving to me because that is how I felt when I met Larry.

I have seen over the past year such strength and compassion displayed in all you have shared here. Very quickly you reached out to even newer family members, and I have been so proud of the way you have supported everyone, most definitely including myself many times.

Diane was indeed a blessing in your life, as you were in hers - I believe she is near you every moment silently guiding and protecting you.

Wishing you a peaceful day and weekend -



Comment by Corey on January 13, 2017 at 9:42am
Sara and Gretchen, I hope the day is tolerable for you both... I don't dare say good bc I know that's not possible. Hearing how difficult it still is for you guys and those of you who have 5,10 or more years under your belt makes me scared as hell for my future. I can hold myself together when I'm with my kids but I can't imagine feeling this terribly sad and alone for so many more years to come. Guess this is the hand I've been dealt and I can't change it but I'm really mad about it. Im going to reach out to a therapist soon to figure out how to get past the angry feelings.
Comment by Charles E. Nelson on January 13, 2017 at 9:25am

Dear Gretchen,

I hope your weather out there does allow you to have some peaceful time by the lake with Ethan - the picture in my mind of you strolling together is one of great beauty even with it's sadness in your longing for Paul. My thoughts and prayers travel across the country to you both today -




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