Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1316
Latest Conversations: 5 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Struggling with reality

Started by Corey. Last reply by Diamond 5 hours ago. 5 Replies

Nine days and a whirlwind of emotions.

Started by Tiffany Phillips. Last reply by Sara Murphy Jan 27. 12 Replies

My love.

Started by brenda may. Last reply by Marsha H Jan 12. 10 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Marsha H on February 14, 2017 at 3:13pm

Deb S ...  I'll be having a White Russian this evening sitting in front of a roaring fire and have a small talk with Ernie.  The best I can come up with.  Thanks for inviting all of us.  We'll get through this. 

Comment by Marsha H on February 14, 2017 at 3:09pm

Dear Gail ...  My deepest condolences on the loss of your husband.  My husband Ernie passed away in 2011 and I was just turning 70 (my first birthday alone) since we were married almost 40 years and I knew him 45 years.  I know exactly how you feel trying to reinvent a new life for yourself when we are at a retirement age.

I'm in the same boat you are.  I volunteer for a dog shelter and I'm OK there while kept busy and I also go to Bible Study.  However, it doesn't seem to matter how busy I get that hole in the heart is still there.  I am now trying to find a mix group of widows/widowers to try and connect with. 

We know we're stronger than we think, but grief is a rough ride and all of here understand exactly what you are going through.


Comment by DJ on February 14, 2017 at 3:06pm

Gail; so sorry for your loss.  Time hasn't so much healed, as it has allowed me to cope; as you say, the hole in my heart is still there.  

You are a gem to give us good wishes as you struggle.  Although none of us wanted the event that brought us here, for me this has been a very comforting place.

Comment by Marsha H on February 14, 2017 at 3:05pm

Todd ...  It's always wonderful to hear from you.  It is very normal to go into a shell after being through holiday and even during a holiday as there are so many memories and also, we often see couples together.  This Valentine's Day will be difficult, but I still buy a card for Ernie and put it on his box of ashes and then buy a helium balloon and write love notes on it and send it sailing to the heavens at his favorite spot by the river.  I know it sounds crazy, but it gives me peace.

When you feel down and out and lonely that's the time you should come on Legacy so we can stand behind you and hold you up.  We are family and we'll all get through this.

Big hug (because you need it)


Comment by DJ on February 14, 2017 at 2:59pm

Deb:  I'll be joining that date - with root beer and chocolates - toasting all those who have wound up on this site.  Ironic, the most constant comfort I've had since I crash-landed on this site is from everyone else who also wished they didn't arrive here.  We seem to be a pretty good group of "never wanted to be" friends.

Comment by Gretchen G on February 14, 2017 at 1:56pm
Debbie - count me in! Got my bottle of wine sitting on the kitchen counter ready for when I get home.
Comment by Gretchen G on February 14, 2017 at 1:54pm
Gail... so sorry for your loss. You've come to a great place - we all understand and support each other.
Comment by Deb S on February 14, 2017 at 1:48pm

Todd, Great! It's a date!  Anyone else want to join us?  Debbie

Comment by Deb S on February 14, 2017 at 1:48pm

Gail, I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your husband. My husband passed away on July 22, 2015. He had been apparently healthy one night and on life support the next morning. It is difficult to learn how to live alone and gain a sense of peace and purpose. I find it difficult to even determine how I'd like my house to be function right now, i.e. I have a huge house - how will it work best for me?

Please take care of you. I find this helps me heal. Debbie

Comment by Gail Brooks on February 14, 2017 at 12:47pm
New to this site. My husband died suddenly one morning on July 10 2015. It's been a rough painful ride to this point at 20 months. We were married 35 wonderful years. At 70 learning to live alone and gain some sense of peace has been a challenge. I hope you are finding good ways to cope. I see friends and family, volunteer am in a book club, taking a course at local college but there is that big hole in my heart that seems to never leave.

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