Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1323
Latest Conversations: 4 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

get your ex back

Started by Monica. Last reply by Claretha Rice on Sunday. 4 Replies

I used to love long week ends.

Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6. 2 Replies

A family of one

Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H May 31. 6 Replies

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Comment by Marsha H on February 15, 2017 at 4:10am

I went out to my local meat market as they had a good price on a combo; lobster tail, NY steak and a baked potato so that what I had for dinner and of course the dogs got a wee bit of steak.  :)  For dessert ...  White Russian and a toast to you all!  Put the fireplace on and just relaxed for the rest of the night.

Comment by Gretchen G on February 14, 2017 at 9:26pm
Cheers to everyone here! I try not to drink while I cook (things just don't turn out right when I do that!) so finally poured my wine after getting the lasagna in the oven. Been so long since I've made it that I forgot how long it takes. Looks like Ethan gets a late bedtime tonight since dinners getting done so late! :)
Comment by Deb S on February 14, 2017 at 5:10pm

Cheers, dear friends: To you, to us, and to the loved ones we have lost. God Bless.  Debbie

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 14, 2017 at 5:07pm

Dear Todd,

As Marsha said, going into a shell after the holidays is probably another thing most of us share,,,I certainly did last Valentine's Day, carrying it to the extreme of not answering my phone at all. That prompted a sudden visit by a relieved but very angry friend who was called by a concerned neighbor. This year I am not here alone, which I consider a blessing for us both.

Todd, dear brother, you most assuredly have out prayers and strength flowing your way as you endure this first anniversary of the loss of your beautiful Claudia. Steve and I will join you, Debbie, Marsha,  and everyone else in toasting to the memories of our loved ones, and offering a second one to all here in our humble gratitude for being for the two of us a most supportive and accepting family.


Chuck and Steve

Comment by Marsha H on February 14, 2017 at 3:21pm

Chuck ...  as always your words are so eloquent with such encouraging words for us.

I know that feeling of tearing up in a store so I wear my sunglasses.  I don't care what it looks like and if anyone ever again in a store sees you cry and thinks you should be watched gain all that strength I know you have and ask them what they are looking at (in a gentle manner.)  It is common for people who are in grief to break out crying in many places we are at and certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

I wish you and Steve a peaceful and loving Valentine's Day.  I am going to have that White Russian toasting all of you and along with Deb and sit in front of roaring fire with my two dogs and I just know Ernie is close just as Larry and other's spouses are nearby on this very special day.

Stay strong big brother.

All my love to you both


Comment by Marsha H on February 14, 2017 at 3:15pm

Sheri ...  Yes, today is a tough one 'heart of hearts' and we so miss them, but with every fiber of my being I do believe they are with us.  Ernie and I were the same as you and Bill and it was roses for me a nice bottle of wine for Ernie and I would cook him a special dinner and also a heart-shaped cake.  How I miss that, but the best I can do is buy him a Valentine's card and then let a helium balloon with love notes sail to the heavens down by the river which he loved so much.  I try my best to just keep busy with something around the house. 

I am thinking and praying for all of you here.

Comment by Marsha H on February 14, 2017 at 3:13pm

Deb S ...  I'll be having a White Russian this evening sitting in front of a roaring fire and have a small talk with Ernie.  The best I can come up with.  Thanks for inviting all of us.  We'll get through this. 

Comment by Marsha H on February 14, 2017 at 3:09pm

Dear Gail ...  My deepest condolences on the loss of your husband.  My husband Ernie passed away in 2011 and I was just turning 70 (my first birthday alone) since we were married almost 40 years and I knew him 45 years.  I know exactly how you feel trying to reinvent a new life for yourself when we are at a retirement age.

I'm in the same boat you are.  I volunteer for a dog shelter and I'm OK there while kept busy and I also go to Bible Study.  However, it doesn't seem to matter how busy I get that hole in the heart is still there.  I am now trying to find a mix group of widows/widowers to try and connect with. 

We know we're stronger than we think, but grief is a rough ride and all of here understand exactly what you are going through.


Comment by DJ on February 14, 2017 at 3:06pm

Gail; so sorry for your loss.  Time hasn't so much healed, as it has allowed me to cope; as you say, the hole in my heart is still there.  

You are a gem to give us good wishes as you struggle.  Although none of us wanted the event that brought us here, for me this has been a very comforting place.

Comment by Marsha H on February 14, 2017 at 3:05pm

Todd ...  It's always wonderful to hear from you.  It is very normal to go into a shell after being through holiday and even during a holiday as there are so many memories and also, we often see couples together.  This Valentine's Day will be difficult, but I still buy a card for Ernie and put it on his box of ashes and then buy a helium balloon and write love notes on it and send it sailing to the heavens at his favorite spot by the river.  I know it sounds crazy, but it gives me peace.

When you feel down and out and lonely that's the time you should come on Legacy so we can stand behind you and hold you up.  We are family and we'll all get through this.

Big hug (because you need it)



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