Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1316
Latest Conversations: 5 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Struggling with reality

Started by Corey. Last reply by Diamond 5 hours ago. 5 Replies

Nine days and a whirlwind of emotions.

Started by Tiffany Phillips. Last reply by Sara Murphy Jan 27. 12 Replies

My love.

Started by brenda may. Last reply by Marsha H Jan 12. 10 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Marsha H on February 15, 2017 at 2:41pm

Tiffany ...  I'm so proud of you for how you handled Valentine's Day as I know just how it feels.  It's almost been 6 years since my Ernie passed away, but I had tears in my eyes off and on all day, bought him a card and wrote love notes on a helium balloon and let it sail to the heavens.  I hope it brought you some comfort going to your husband's gravesite.  I always feel they hear us and right there with us throughout each day and I too talk to Ernie to this day.  I completely understand how you felt going for Pizza with your cousins and they are sweethearts for doing that, but we grievers have the feeling of just half of us being there and miss our spouses so much.  I had a special dinner for myself, talked to Ernie and bought him a Valentine's card and put it on top of his box of ashes and as I said before let the helium balloon with all my love right behind it sail to the heavens.  I think most of us are relieved this occasion in over with.   

Comment by Sara Murphy on February 15, 2017 at 2:06pm

Tiffany.....It's so hard to make it through any of the holiday's, especially the firsts.  I'm glad you found a way and hope the time with your family eased the pain a bit although it'll never be the same.  Remember, you can talk to your husband anywhere and at anytime.  He's always around and listening.  The hard part is, we can't hear them respond back.

Comment by Tiffany Phillips on February 15, 2017 at 10:43am

Yesterday was 4weeks and 2days since his passing. I went and spent some time at his grave talking to him for Valentine's Day. I didn't want him to be alone. Then my sister and cousins took me out for pizza so I wouldn't be alone. It was an ok Valentine's Day, unfortunately I just miss him so much and it wasn't the same.

Comment by Sara Murphy on February 15, 2017 at 9:20am

Todd....It's nice to hear from you.  I'm thinking of you today as make your way through this one year anniversary.   I truly wish there was something I could say or do to make it easier but since I know that's not possible, just know that I'm sending strength and prayers your way.

Love, Sara

Comment by Marsha H on February 15, 2017 at 4:10am

I went out to my local meat market as they had a good price on a combo; lobster tail, NY steak and a baked potato so that what I had for dinner and of course the dogs got a wee bit of steak.  :)  For dessert ...  White Russian and a toast to you all!  Put the fireplace on and just relaxed for the rest of the night.

Comment by Gretchen G on February 14, 2017 at 9:26pm
Cheers to everyone here! I try not to drink while I cook (things just don't turn out right when I do that!) so finally poured my wine after getting the lasagna in the oven. Been so long since I've made it that I forgot how long it takes. Looks like Ethan gets a late bedtime tonight since dinners getting done so late! :)
Comment by Deb S on February 14, 2017 at 5:10pm

Cheers, dear friends: To you, to us, and to the loved ones we have lost. God Bless.  Debbie

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 14, 2017 at 5:07pm

Dear Todd,

As Marsha said, going into a shell after the holidays is probably another thing most of us share,,,I certainly did last Valentine's Day, carrying it to the extreme of not answering my phone at all. That prompted a sudden visit by a relieved but very angry friend who was called by a concerned neighbor. This year I am not here alone, which I consider a blessing for us both.

Todd, dear brother, you most assuredly have out prayers and strength flowing your way as you endure this first anniversary of the loss of your beautiful Claudia. Steve and I will join you, Debbie, Marsha,  and everyone else in toasting to the memories of our loved ones, and offering a second one to all here in our humble gratitude for being for the two of us a most supportive and accepting family.


Chuck and Steve

Comment by Marsha H on February 14, 2017 at 3:21pm

Chuck ...  as always your words are so eloquent with such encouraging words for us.

I know that feeling of tearing up in a store so I wear my sunglasses.  I don't care what it looks like and if anyone ever again in a store sees you cry and thinks you should be watched gain all that strength I know you have and ask them what they are looking at (in a gentle manner.)  It is common for people who are in grief to break out crying in many places we are at and certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

I wish you and Steve a peaceful and loving Valentine's Day.  I am going to have that White Russian toasting all of you and along with Deb and sit in front of roaring fire with my two dogs and I just know Ernie is close just as Larry and other's spouses are nearby on this very special day.

Stay strong big brother.

All my love to you both


Comment by Marsha H on February 14, 2017 at 3:15pm

Sheri ...  Yes, today is a tough one 'heart of hearts' and we so miss them, but with every fiber of my being I do believe they are with us.  Ernie and I were the same as you and Bill and it was roses for me a nice bottle of wine for Ernie and I would cook him a special dinner and also a heart-shaped cake.  How I miss that, but the best I can do is buy him a Valentine's card and then let a helium balloon with love notes sail to the heavens down by the river which he loved so much.  I try my best to just keep busy with something around the house. 

I am thinking and praying for all of you here.


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