Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Need Advice:Grief and Chronic Fatigue

Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Kaela Roster Federle yesterday. 27 Replies

On the last day of our vacation my husband died.

Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by Deb S yesterday. 34 Replies

My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by deborah peck Sep 12. 18 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Sheri Dettman on February 14, 2017 at 11:04am

Hello all, I thought I would power thru today but no such luck. Bill and I used to say that "every day was Valentine's day" when someone would ask if we were doing something special. And that was true. We didn't make a big deal out of it but I always knew there would be roses and chocolate. So now, after 12 years of that, not so today. I have to say, it wasn't easy getting out of bed today. I know you are all feeling the same way. No easy way to deal with this or any of the challenges that we are going thru. I just keep telling myself (and Bill) that I was lucky to have the time that I had with him. Doesn't help much but in the moment it is true. Peace and love to all of you.

Comment by Deb S on February 14, 2017 at 10:49am

Chuck, It looks like I am able to post again. It has been frustrating to type long posts, hit send, and nothing happens. You remain in my thoughts and prayers. Enjoy today with Steve and know that I will be toasting each of my friends here tonight. Please join me if you are so inclined as everyone is invited. I have considered everything that I'd like to do today. I really thought that I would go out and eat but my heart just isn't in it. Instead, I'll stay at home, make something simple, open a bottle of good wine, and toast my friends. Love to all, Debbie

Comment by Deb S on February 14, 2017 at 10:47am

Todd, Extra prayers and good thoughts are with you today and tomorrow. Thanks for posting. It is good to hear from you.  HUGS!!!  Debbie

Comment by Todd B. Goodrich on February 14, 2017 at 10:18am

Hello my dear Legacy family!

  My apologies for not posting much lately, I have found that after the holidays I really turtled off into my shell. I have read every post and keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. A huge shout out to you all with Special love to Sara and Harold as you made it through year one. I appreciate all of the encouragement from our group to each other! It is a beautiful thing. Steve and Chuck, Marsha, Deb, Chicago, Gretchen, Sherri, DJ, Joanne, Pete and all of our other angels here - you folks are the best, and I thank God for you all. May this Valentine's Day not be too overwhelming! Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my angel Claudia's passing and so I do ask for strength and prayers. I sometimes severely dislike this new reality. But I don't wish to bring negativity, so I would like to pass along a quote from Theodore Roosevelt "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.".

May God bless, comfort and encourage us all!



Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 14, 2017 at 9:18am

Hello Debbie,

I have been missing your posts, and am relieved they are only tech problems - I hope they are resolved easily, but just know that whether we see your name here or not, you are every day in our minds and prayers -
Have a peaceful and calm day dear friend...


Chuck and Steve

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 14, 2017 at 9:15am

Hello DJ,

Thank you for your wishes - I really appreciate your words about my identity is so inexorably intertwined with my art that it's impossible to separate them, leaving me feeling that for several years I have been only half alive.

Whatever does or does not come back to me is not in my hands, but I now understand that my acceptance of the sad and upsetting changes life can hold is absolutely within my grasp with the patience, compassion, and examples of support offered by the many angels here in our loving family.

We are all still here for a reason, and finding courage to get through every hour and every day is the gift I found here. Friends like you, DJ, have made that possible. Have a peaceful day - 



Comment by Charles E. Nelson on February 14, 2017 at 9:00am

Dear Marsha,

Thank you , that is a beautiful song. Indeed, as Gretchen says, this is a more difficult day for us all here than most of the other days, and unless you completely disconnect from all forms of media and avoid shops, you've had it in your face for weeks now. I had a minor melt-down in a WalMart isle last year that had the staff backing away and security following me out to the parking lot as I left. Looking back, I can jest about it, but there was nothing funny about it at the time.

Love  for our lost ones will forever bring thoughts of lovely memories and traditions, like Gretchen and Paul's dinners - sadly those memories will surface washed in tears and longing for that one kiss and embrace we will not know again, at least for now.

So I send a gentle hug to all my dear family here, and gratefully receive one back, finding in your friendship and support strength and comfort. You are all in our prayers and thoughts -

With love from Chuck and Steve

Comment by Gretchen G on February 14, 2017 at 8:40am
Thanks for that Marsha. It's definitely harder getting out of bed today, but things must get done.
Planning on making a lasagna and cracking open a bottle of wine tonight in Paul's memory. Our first valentines together I had gone to his apartment and he had made lasagna - I was completely blown away! Almost every valentines after that we would make it together.

Hugs to all the family here - I'm thinking of you all today!
Comment by Marsha H on February 14, 2017 at 6:18am

To my Family here ...  I know Valentine's Day is going to be difficult for all of us.  I thought this song 'By My Side' would give you a little more faith and perhaps a little bit stronger to get through not only Valentine's Day, but the rest of your lives.  I know some of us are different religions, but there is a God in each of them and the words speak for themselves.

Much love to all my angels


Comment by Marsha H on February 12, 2017 at 4:26am

Hi Deb ...  Your problem probably is needing to clean out cookies.  If you don't know how to do this here is how you do it:

1.  Go to 'Start' Button

2.  Go to 'Disc Cleanup' and hit the 'OK' button.

3.  It will take about 5 - 6 minutes.

4.  When it's finished it will ask if you are sure you want to 

     delete and press 'Yes.'

This should do the trick. 

Love ya back and hope I've helped. 



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