Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by Mary. Jane on Sunday. 15 Replies

I used to love long week ends.

Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6. 2 Replies

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Comment by Tiffany Phillips on February 17, 2017 at 2:42pm

Just got the call today, cause of death was acute bronchitis leading to cardiac arrest.  Knowing hit harder than I thought it would, it didn't make me feel any better.  If anything a bit mad at him for being so stubborn about going to the doctor.  Sorry I just kinda, wanted to share I guess.. 

Comment by Harold McKinstry on February 17, 2017 at 8:55am

I too took a small break from posting after the Holidays also. Thank You for the Shout Out for making it through the first Anniversary. It's funny the word Anniversary used to have a positive vibe, now it's a negative vibe to do with Diane's death. Sorry you have to have the same for Claudia's. I guess we all hate this new Reality that has been forced on us. I realized I needed to push myself a little for this year, joined a Gym working with a personal trainer. I feel lot better used to wake up with back aches, not any more. Was able to go to the second notch on my belt instead of the first. That quote you had was excellent even though we hate it, we can't change it and do the best we can.

Comment by Harold McKinstry on February 17, 2017 at 8:36am


Sounds like you did the best you could for Valentines Day. It's such a short time for you since the passing of your Husband, I'm sure everything seems unreal and crazy. I understand what you mean it doesn't feel right.  It's been little over a year for me, it never gets easy or pain free, I guess I have learned to tolerate it somewhat. Sounds like you are doing the right things, keep putting one foot in front of the other and post on here often. 

Comment by Todd B. Goodrich on February 15, 2017 at 4:10pm

Dear Sara,

Thank you so much! This sucks so much. I am trying to work but it is so difficult. Come on 4 o'clock!

 Hugs back to you my friend.



Comment by Marsha H on February 15, 2017 at 2:41pm

Tiffany ...  I'm so proud of you for how you handled Valentine's Day as I know just how it feels.  It's almost been 6 years since my Ernie passed away, but I had tears in my eyes off and on all day, bought him a card and wrote love notes on a helium balloon and let it sail to the heavens.  I hope it brought you some comfort going to your husband's gravesite.  I always feel they hear us and right there with us throughout each day and I too talk to Ernie to this day.  I completely understand how you felt going for Pizza with your cousins and they are sweethearts for doing that, but we grievers have the feeling of just half of us being there and miss our spouses so much.  I had a special dinner for myself, talked to Ernie and bought him a Valentine's card and put it on top of his box of ashes and as I said before let the helium balloon with all my love right behind it sail to the heavens.  I think most of us are relieved this occasion in over with.   

Comment by Sara Murphy on February 15, 2017 at 2:06pm

Tiffany.....It's so hard to make it through any of the holiday's, especially the firsts.  I'm glad you found a way and hope the time with your family eased the pain a bit although it'll never be the same.  Remember, you can talk to your husband anywhere and at anytime.  He's always around and listening.  The hard part is, we can't hear them respond back.

Comment by Tiffany Phillips on February 15, 2017 at 10:43am

Yesterday was 4weeks and 2days since his passing. I went and spent some time at his grave talking to him for Valentine's Day. I didn't want him to be alone. Then my sister and cousins took me out for pizza so I wouldn't be alone. It was an ok Valentine's Day, unfortunately I just miss him so much and it wasn't the same.

Comment by Sara Murphy on February 15, 2017 at 9:20am

Todd....It's nice to hear from you.  I'm thinking of you today as make your way through this one year anniversary.   I truly wish there was something I could say or do to make it easier but since I know that's not possible, just know that I'm sending strength and prayers your way.

Love, Sara

Comment by Marsha H on February 15, 2017 at 4:10am

I went out to my local meat market as they had a good price on a combo; lobster tail, NY steak and a baked potato so that what I had for dinner and of course the dogs got a wee bit of steak.  :)  For dessert ...  White Russian and a toast to you all!  Put the fireplace on and just relaxed for the rest of the night.

Comment by Gretchen G on February 14, 2017 at 9:26pm
Cheers to everyone here! I try not to drink while I cook (things just don't turn out right when I do that!) so finally poured my wine after getting the lasagna in the oven. Been so long since I've made it that I forgot how long it takes. Looks like Ethan gets a late bedtime tonight since dinners getting done so late! :)

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