Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: yesterday
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Monica. Last reply by Claretha Rice on Sunday.
Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6.
Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H May 31.
Dear Charles ... You know I'm not going to let up on your fantastic writings. LOL Do I have to swing by on my broom!
Love ya brother
Gretchen ... What a beautiful photograph and thanks for sharing.
It's very normal to feel that Paul may not want you to give away his clothing and most of us have gone through it. In fact, I found the opposite and felt if I was giving Ernie's clothing away and a few other things I would feel like he never existed in my life. I slowly gave some things away and when you feel the time is right you will.
Ernie passed April 27, 2011. Yesterday I had my nephews come up and go through countless fishing rods and reels as Ernie loved to fish and we often did go away fishing. Although memories of the good old days of fishing together came back just like Chuck, I didn't cry like I did when I had to sell Ernie's truck/camper and his boat. My nephews took one each of the fishing rods and the others are going to a young man at Bible Study who is a wonderful young person and I know Ernie would be pleased I chose this young man because he will appreciate and look after the fishing rods. After my nephews left and I bundled up the fishing rods and reels I talked out loud to Ernie and told him how I missed those amazing days of sitting in the boat, rods out and just relaxing enjoying the beautiful scenery around us, but now these fishing rods needed to be used. I realized after 3 years of his passing that these were all material things and should be put to good use so I have no doubt Ernie would want his clothing to warm someone less fortunate and give please to others with his boat, truck/camper and fishing rods. You just take it easy as to what you feel you would want to give away. As far as your son walking around in his daddy's shoes perhaps find something else of Paul's to give him in memory of his father.
Making a decision to uproot your whole life and move back to where family lives is a big step and it's normal again to just tell your dad of what you are contemplating because you aren't quite comfortable with the move and I feel you are just trying to be careful and if you decide not to move where family is you won't be disappointing the whole family. Just take one day at a time and I promise you that when the time is right for you, you'll make the right decision.
My friend, I'm so glad your trip went well, and at the risk of repeating myself - I am so happy and proud at the way you are finding life worth living once more. You are amazing, and an inspiration to us all here...well done big guy!
You are always one of my enthusiastic cheerleaders - thank you for always encouraging me to express myself - I feel as though I have a purpose and future because of you my sweet sister, and because of all my family here who make me feel cared for and useful. God bless you all -
Your photo most definitely brightens my day - thank you! I think Paul may be already telling you, through your daily thoughts about moving back to Ohio, that your dispersing his belongings however and whenever it feels right is what he expects you to do.
This week Steve helped me put a very large collection of parcels out for a charity to collect - with it are the last of Larry's clothing I still had. This morning I folded and carefully wrapped Larry's dress top coat and London Fog rain coat. I didn't cry, which truly surprised me...I just felt a deep sadness that we would never be grabbing our coats and adjusting each others ties as we head out to some wedding or play in NYC. Oh, to have just one more look at him all dressed up, smiling because he knows he looks very handsome and debonair. I think, Gretchen, that you have reached the same place I have, and are finding the closeness and contact we long for within our hearts, allowing us to turn loose of material goods we have been clutching for their memories.
I believe that for some of us this comes sooner, for others later - and for some never. All are only important in line with what is right for us, not outside opinions and suggestions from family, friends, and counselors. You have so much of Paul with you always in Ethan, and turning a page does not in any way mean you are closing the book.
Find peace my friend in your thoughts of travel, and if it is right, you will know in your heart.
Love to you and Ethan,
A nice view to hopefully brighten everyone's day a bit.
Chuck ... Another amazing post and I always feel at peace and calm when I read your posts. What a writer! I won't tell you 'I told you so.' LOL
Your sis Marsha
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