Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 17 hours ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Mary. Jane 17 hours ago.
Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by deborah peck Sep 12.
Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by deborah peck Aug 22.
Steve.....I like that poem you copied from your friend's facebook page. I think I'm going to copy it and post on mine. How true it is!
Hi everyone......I haven't been able to read the posts since last week so I'm a little behind. I'll catch up slowly.
Marsha.....I just read your post about helping the homeless woman by giving her some money. That was a very nice thing to do and I don't think you threw your money away. You'll never know but maybe you had some positive chain effect for this person.
Well said Chuck!! Beautiful writing as always! Thank you.. And Thank you for the mention of Six Feet Under, I will have to look that series up and try to watch it.
I have always loved Calling All Angels. Thanks for the link and the reminder Chuck. Ken died suddenly July 1- 2015 and each day is an experiment in how to live without him. Its tiring and sometime discouraging but I am believing I will find my way. Steve, its good to hear you are looking forward to your tomorrows. That is where I would like to be. I can't honestly say I am there. I wish I were. Its better than it used to be but still so many tears and fears. After 35 years I guess that's to be expected.
This writing I offer to my family as we all support each other in our daily struggles with our grief...especially to the newer members for whom your loss is so fresh and your pain at times so overwhelming.
Your attention is drawn to the window by a barely audible sound – outside on a branch sits a tiny Goldfinch, seemingly watching you while being buffeted by cold wind gusts. The calendar says it is spring, but the deep snow on the ground and frigid blowing winds beg to differ. Her melody of sweet notes is nearly drowned out by the howling through the branches, as she maintains her tenuous grasp to the whipping twig she clutches.
You find it hard to fathom how such a fragile creature, clinging to such a small perch, manages to withstand such cruel blows without falling. From where comes such strength – such resolve – to hold tight even against such an overwhelming and relentless attempt to dislodge her?
As quickly as it came, the wind dies, leaving her calmly sitting there peering at you, as if demonstrating…what? That she’s strong despite her size? That sometimes just holding on is all we can do, keeping faith that the blows will subside and we will once more feel safe? That living is surviving even when we are sure we won’t survive this blow that threatens to knock us down for the count?
She looses one more brief song of good bye, then flits from view – a bright speck of glorious color against the gray background of a dying winter that , for just a moment, gave you hope that the cold winds will leave and someday soon there will be warmth, and sun, and growing things of color and beauty.
All you need to do is…hold on.
I'm glad the song spoke to you as it did to me - Steve and I were watching the TV series "Six Feet Under" which Larry and I had bought on DVD, not having cable in the house. The series confronth death and grieving in all it's many incarnations, and is probably not for everybody. There is adult content and story lines, but the insight the writers show in their scripts, often just a simple statement spoken by a character, left Steve and I nodding and saying "Yep - they got that one right!"
This song was in an episode we watched yesterday, and it suddenly meant so much more than when Larry and I watched it together - I knew little of grieving back then except for my parents. Now I understand the calling out for help to keep from drowning in our sorrow.
I still plan to finish something I'm writing today - I think I want to dedicate it to all the angels here, who have taught me how to find a peace I despaired of ever again feeling. Thank you, and God Bless You -
When I joined Legacy this was my profile picture, Mark on the left and me on the right. The year was 2001, company Christmas Party in Ft. Lauderdale, Mark was 39 and I was 53. Hard to imagine that so much has changed over the past 16 years. Mark would have been 55 this past January and this April I turn 70, I used to wonder back in my youth what I would be doing, where I would be and what would life be like. I guess that is the trap we all fall into, we live our lives as if tomorrow is something foreign to our thought process, at least it was for me. Today, I am actually looking forward to my tomorrows and yes I am still wondering what I will be doing, where I will be and waiting for tomorrow.
Thank you so much, Chuck for offering the link to "Calling All Angels." Needless to say, the soulfully beautiful song brought tears to my eyes. The song verbalized the prayers of bereaved folks like us seeking comfort and guidance. Very moving, and it brought me peace. Hugs, Trina
Thank you dear friend for your most kind words - I am writing a piece I plan to post tomorrow, but for tonight, I offer this link to a song especially for you and all of my loving family here - my angels who keep me strong, upright, and forever grateful for finding this safe haven .
Wishing everyone peace tonight, and each day ahead -
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