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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1337
Latest Conversations: 17 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Need Advice:Grief and Chronic Fatigue

Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Mary. Jane 17 hours ago. 25 Replies

My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by deborah peck Sep 12. 18 Replies

On the last day of our vacation my husband died.

Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by deborah peck Aug 22. 33 Replies

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Comment by Charles E. Nelson on March 30, 2017 at 2:27pm

Hello Gretchen,

Your photo most definitely brightens my day - thank you! I think Paul may be already telling you, through your daily thoughts about moving back to Ohio, that your dispersing his belongings however and whenever it feels right is what he expects you to do.

This week Steve helped me put a very large collection of parcels out for a charity to collect - with it are the last of Larry's clothing I still had. This morning I folded and carefully wrapped Larry's dress top coat and London Fog rain coat. I didn't cry, which truly surprised me...I just felt a deep sadness that we would never be grabbing our coats and adjusting each others ties as we head out to some wedding or play in NYC. Oh, to have just one more look at him all dressed up, smiling because he knows he looks very handsome and debonair. I think, Gretchen, that you have reached the same place I have, and are finding the closeness and contact we long for within our hearts, allowing us to turn loose of material goods we have been clutching for their memories.

I believe that for some of us this comes sooner, for others later - and for some never. All are only important in line with what is right for us, not outside opinions and suggestions from family, friends, and counselors. You have so much of Paul with you always in Ethan, and turning a page does not in any way mean you are closing the book.

Find peace my friend in your thoughts of travel, and if it is right, you will know in your heart.

Love to you and Ethan,

Chuck

Comment by Gretchen G on March 30, 2017 at 11:58am

A nice view to hopefully brighten everyone's day a bit.  

Comment by Gretchen G on March 30, 2017 at 8:43am
Haven't been able to keep up with the posts recently so I hope everyone is doing well!

Lot of weird emotions this morning for me.

Lately I've been thinking more and more about moving back to Ohio to be near family. It's been on my mind ever since Paul passed, but it's now become a daily thought and I'm constantly looking at houses online. The only person I've told is my dad, and I can't figure out why I can't tell anyone else in my family. I want to but just get paralyzed and don't do it.

And this morning really came to the realization that I think I'm waiting for some sort of permission to give away Paul's clothes and things. It's like I don't want him to be mad at me for giving it all away. In the two years since he passed I've only given away his car and some dimmer outlet things he had made for work (the last few years he was in the set lighting department for different tv shows). Hoping that I can get over this feeling and just go through his stuff - it's not doing me any good hanging around here. Especially when Ethan gets into the closet and pulls out his shoes to walk around in.....breaks my heart every time.

In other news.....
It's a shame I can't attach pictures to a post when I use my phone... took Ethan to see the poppies last weekend and had some amazing views - Paul would have loved it (and my back would have loved having him there - carrying an almost 30 pound 2 year old on your back while hiking up and down the trails is no joke!!) Will have to actually get onto a computer soon and post them that way.

Hugs and peace to you all!!!! ❤❤❤
Comment by Marsha H on March 30, 2017 at 4:52am

Chuck ...  Another amazing post and I always feel at peace and calm when I read your posts.  What a writer!  I won't tell you 'I told you so.'  LOL

Love

Your sis Marsha

Comment by Marsha H on March 30, 2017 at 4:51am

Sara ...  as always you have something positive to say to me and I do hope my kindness helped that young woman and of course her dog. I'll never know, but it made me feel good and that's what counts.

I hope and pray you are having better days Sara.

Comment by Marsha H on March 30, 2017 at 4:49am

Harold ...  I'm so happy you had a good time on your holidays and I know it was mixed emotions without Diane, but so proud of you for realizing Diane wouldn't want you to sit around and give up on life.  I hope to push myself a little more this year.  No one to go on holidays with so I guess I'll have to go alone which to me quite honest isn't much fun.

Comment by Marsha H on March 30, 2017 at 4:47am

Mary Jane ...  What a true and beautiful poem your husband wrote and I'm sure you'll treasure it.  He was a very talented man and you are so lucky to have his artwork and poems.  I do know finding things like that may make you sad, but later you will feel so blessed to have those memories.

Thank you for sharing. 

Marsha

Comment by Harold McKinstry on March 29, 2017 at 6:32pm

Hi All

Just got back yesterday, had a great time. Felt weird going on a vacation without Diane, felt a little guilt but  I know she wouldn't want me sitting around giving up on life. I wouldn't want that for her either if roles were reversed. I have decided that I was going to push myself this year to do more and try to find some kind of life for me. will try things and see what feels right.

 

Comment by Mary. Jane on March 29, 2017 at 6:29pm
BACK INTO THE UNKNOWN. is the last line.
Comment by Mary. Jane on March 29, 2017 at 6:28pm
My husband was a truck driver by trade, but also an amazing artist. The walls are filled with his paintings, and there r dozens of framed paintings stored in an upstairs room. When we moved 12 yrs ago, I put all the unframed artwork into a large flat box under the bed. Last May my daughter and I went through the box. We DIDN,t know there were also poems he'd written in the box. I'd like to share one with you...I don,t know when he wrote it...but here it is:

THE WORLD TURNS
THE SUN RISES AND SET
SEASONS COME AND GO
WE ARE BORN
WE LIVE
WE DIE
WWE RETURN FROM WHENCE WE CAME
BACK INTO THE UNKNOW?

by RWT...date unknown.
 

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