Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Nov 22, 2017. 2 Replies

New member

Started by denise. Last reply by Marsha H Oct 25, 2017. 4 Replies

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Comment by Charles E. Nelson on April 4, 2017 at 6:41pm

Dear Marsha,

I so hope that Tootsie's problem is easily treated, and you and she are in my prayers. Also I pray that your advisor finds some place to coax more funds for you - being "forced" to sell your home is never easy, but for us in this family, for whom our lives with our loved ones are inexorably intertwined with our homes, it is nearly unbearable to consider leaving. That said, you have shown us all through your wisdom, your experience, and your plain old stubbornness that your are not a woman easily defeated. We're all behind you always, and wait to hear of the developments in your current challenges. By the way, little sister - for me and all who love you...please do quit smoking. Nagging accomplished.

Much Love,


Comment by Marsha H on April 4, 2017 at 3:13pm

Deb S ...  Thanks so much for being my cheerleader.  I know I need to quit smoking and will admit I'm a stress smoker.  Right now have two serious things to get over before I dare try.  My little 14 year old dog Tootsie has a lump in her anal gland and taking her in today to see if it's just impacted or a tumor and my two little dogs are the last link to my Ernie so this is not going to be fun.  I see the vet at 5 PM.  The other issue is money is going out of my accounts faster than coming in and I have to see my Financial Advisor to see if they have any tricks up their sleeve or I will have no option, but to sell my house.  I sure hope the latter isn't true and my small rancher was and still is the love of Ernie's and my life.  I try, but everyone has their hand out to be paid for the slightest of things.  Will keep you informed.

Comment by Marsha H on April 4, 2017 at 3:10pm

Deb S.  ...  Here is something else you can do and what some people forget to do ... get rid of bad cookies. 

1.  Go to START

2.  A list will come up and you'll see DISC CLEANUP.  Hit on

      that and let it run (takes about 5 - 10 minutes.) 

3.  When it's finished it will ask if you want to delete old files

      to create more disc space and hit YES.  It will be quick to

      do so.  That should ease things up.

Wishing you luck my friend.



Comment by Sara Murphy on April 4, 2017 at 9:08am

Hi Debbie.....I muddle my way through the day.  Working certainly helps as it gives my mind something to focus on other than missing Ken.   Unfortunately, I'm not at a point where I see the light at the end of the tunnel and doubt I ever will.  Right now, my only goal is to live long enough to see my nieces grow up.  After that, I'm good to go.  Ken's waiting for me.  I wish I could be more inspirational.

Comment by Deb S on April 4, 2017 at 7:18am

Marsha, I'll be your cheerleader when you are ready to quit. For me, my mindset had to be clear. It is a hard habit to break but people do it all of the time. Debbie

Comment by Deb S on April 4, 2017 at 7:17am

Sarah, Thanks for your support. It was time I quit. One more thing out of the way.  How are you doing?  Debbie

Comment by Deb S on April 4, 2017 at 7:16am

Marsha, Thanks for trying to help re copying and pasting. I've tried to do that and can't seem to make that happen either. One night I tried to post for over an hour and nothing would make it work. It is like the site froze up. I'll work something out as I missed everyone.  Debbie

Comment by Marsha H on April 4, 2017 at 5:50am

Mary.Jane ...  You sure aren't going to get much advice from this lady with little tech knowledge.  LOL  However, if you just get out of the Legacy site and go back on you should be OK, but doubt you can save what you've written.

Comment by Marsha H on April 4, 2017 at 5:49am

Deb S ...  So proud of you for quitting smoking and I know it isn't easy.  I am a smoke and my smoking went up when Ernie was ill and certainly after.  I have been thinking of quitting too.  Will let you know as well when I manage that one.  Keep up the good work my friend.

Comment by Sara Murphy on April 3, 2017 at 9:33pm

Debbie.......Good for you for giving up smoking.  That's not an easy thing to do.  Like everything else, one day at a time.  I'll be pulling for you.   Also, I've had to do what Marsha suggested by copying and pasting a few times in the past.  Now, if I write a long post, I automatically copy part way through just in case and then again at the end before I hit add comment.  Sometimes this site is touchy.



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