Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Need Advice:Grief and Chronic Fatigue

Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Mary. Jane 17 hours ago. 25 Replies

My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by deborah peck Sep 12. 18 Replies

On the last day of our vacation my husband died.

Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by deborah peck Aug 22. 33 Replies

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Comment by Mary. Jane on April 10, 2017 at 9:24pm
This post is about our pets...who have died. First of all, I am TERRIFIED of my kitty dying. There is not much wrong with him, but FEAR has been magnified so much since Bob died, I check him hotly...ok have u ever felt your pet who has passed? My kitty, Rudy is 8 yrs old..b4 we had him, we had another kitty, Dusty, who was 11yrs old..he died of kidney failure. While he was alive, every night, he'd jump up on the right side of the bed, and sleep on my feet. He did this for 11 years. He was my baby...ok after he died, I would FEEL him jump on the bed most nights. Even tho we had a new kitty, I swear I could feel Dusty jump on the bed. I never told Bob for years..until one night, when I finally told him..instead of laughing at me, Bob said he had felt the SSSAME THING! Only he never told me cuz we both thought we were imagining it! Am I alone in this?
Comment by Mary. Jane on April 10, 2017 at 7:03pm
STEVE..thank you for sharing that story...I cried, and then wrote down what he said to you
Comment by Mary. Jane on April 10, 2017 at 7:01pm
SARA. Thank you for sharing that. Yes, i would love to meet a medium..but I would want to b sure they were for real...I like Teresa her every Sunday. On the fence about Silvia Brown...I remember her telling the mother of one of the 3 women who were kidnaped in Cleveland that her daughter was dead...she was alive and was watching the show..but tho I am a born skeptic, I believe that anythis is POSSIBLE. So I will keep hoping I see more signs..hope we ALL do!
Comment by Sara Murphy on April 10, 2017 at 5:33pm

Thanks Steve.  I had no idea who sang this song. 

I think it's been said that animals and young children can see the spirits of our loved ones.  This accounts for the imaginary friends that kids have.  I have no doubt that Bella was seeing Mark.  I agree with you....there's far more going on than we'll ever be aware of.

Comment by Steve on April 10, 2017 at 10:49am

Sara - Pablo Cruise "Love Will Find a Way", 1978

I too have had many signs from Mark, I remember waking up one afternoon by a fragrance, it was his favorite cologne, and it lingered as I became fully awake. This has happened several other times.

There have also been numerous times that Bella would be looking out towards the patio or looking into an empty room of the patio and she would perk up and start waging her tail.

So, I have learned to not dismiss these episodes, there is far more to our existence in this plane and beyond than anyone of us could ever begin to understand.  All of this I accept as validation to my beliefs and my faith.

Comment by Sara Murphy on April 10, 2017 at 9:34am

Steve......I remember you telling this story of your meeting an Angel and I like reading it again as a reminder that Angels do walk among us.  They reach out when we need it most.

I've had several signs from Ken and dreams of him but never a dream visit.  I would love that.  My most recent sign was last week.  I was driving to work and crying because I miss him so much and telling him that I can't bear a life without him.  I was changing radio stations and the station I landed on was playing a song from the 70's.  I don't recall the name of the song but some of the lyrics are:  "It's alright, once you get past the pain, that's where you'll find love again so keep your heart open cause love will find a way."  I take this as a sign of Ken speaking to me through this song.

Comment by Sara Murphy on April 10, 2017 at 9:26am

Mary Jane......I believe in Mediums, Angels and the eternal life of our spirits.  I recently began reading a book by Sylvia Brown who is (was) a Medium.  I think she's passed away by now.  In it she talks about things I have heard about, like how there is no time on the Other Side and she also talks about things I hadn't heard about like what she refers to as the scanning station.  This is where people review their lives here on Earth.   People who have had near death experiences and say their life flashed before them, they may have seen the scanning station but wouldn't remember it.  I won't bore you all and gone on about it.  It just helps me to know that Ken is living a full life on the Other Side and since there's no time where he is, I'll be joining him in what seems like a minute to him.

I also commend you for getting yourself dressed and "put together" every day even if you're not going to see anybody.  It's important to do this just to keep from falling into deep despair. 

Comment by Steve on April 10, 2017 at 6:36am

Part two: 

I was stunned and caught off guard, then I desperately wanted to thank him, as I looked up he had made his way to the top and disappeared out of sight.  I quickly moved up the steps and reached the top and took the short steps to the outside.  He was nowhere to be found, so I headed home.  When I got home and opened the door there was Mark sitting up on the sofa with his tablet and he had his earphones on listening to music.  He was fine, he had been reading and listening to music, not paying attention to the time and was surprised to see.  This was normal for him these days.  I was calm and happy he was ok, then I relayed the story to him about my encounter heading home.  Mark exclaimed, oh, you met an Angel, just as matter of fact.  Then he launched into a discussion of how he had watched a show on cable about this very subject and how he believed they were all around us.  I think of this moment in time often and each time I do I am comforted with calming love.  Mark passed away in November of that same year.  I do not have dreams where he visits me, but I have had signs from him, but I will write about those another time.  I call them “A Trail of Feathers”.  Like Mark, I too believe that we are surrounded by Angels, many of whom post on this very site.  Peace be with you Mary Jane!

Comment by Steve on April 10, 2017 at 6:35am

Many of us on this site can attest to spiritual visits.  Before I lost Mark, I encountered an Angel one day in a busy train station some 10 stories below ground full of busy people moving about all trying to get to where they were going.  I was on my home, feeling quite depressed and emotionally exhausted.  My train ride home took twenty minutes and I usually had a lot of time to think and reflect.  Mark had a neurological disorder similar to, Parkinson’s, at this particular time in our life together we were living in Dallas, TX we had moved there in 2009 when the company I was working for transferred me there.  This particular day, was the summer of 2014, it was hot and humid and my day at work was mixed with a lot of the usual pressures from work along with my usual anxiety about Mark’s health.  I dreaded leaving him alone each day as his bouts with having seizures was becoming too frequently and his overall health had begun to decline.  So, there I was getting off the train at my stop and I was making my way to the second escalator to the surface.  This escalator was very long and steep and took about 3 minutes to get from the bottom to the top.  I was standing on one of the steps lost in my thoughts, Mark had not called me that day and my attempts to call him were unsuccessful.  Then someone said “excuse me, may I pass by”?  I looked up and there was a man looking quite the part of a homeless man holding a few bags and making his way up the escalator.  I said sorry, sure, and I moved to the left so he could pass by.  As he got to the step above me he turned around and looked straight in the eyes and said “things are not as bad as they seem”, turned and went on his way up.

Comment by Mary. Jane on April 9, 2017 at 11:13pm
LOL?..a footnote: I poured my heart out in that last post, and, to my horror, it wouldn't let me post it! It said I had to erase the PROFANITY? Huh? What profanity? If I lost this post it would have crushed I trolled thru it, and erased a few profanity..but I thought maybe they might have been misread? Finally I found it! I had used the word dam with an N! Phew! Sorry...I removed it an all was well. G'night, kids. Sleep well. TOOTSIE! Here!s a cuddle from Rudy...I am praying all will be well. Seriously.

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