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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1337
Latest Conversations: 17 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Need Advice:Grief and Chronic Fatigue

Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Mary. Jane 17 hours ago. 25 Replies

My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by deborah peck Sep 12. 18 Replies

On the last day of our vacation my husband died.

Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by deborah peck Aug 22. 33 Replies

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Comment by Sara Murphy on April 11, 2017 at 2:01pm

Steve.....I haven't seen that poem before.  I absolutely love it and have printed it out.  Thanks for posting it.

Comment by Mary. Jane on April 11, 2017 at 12:55pm
I think I had a sign from Bob this morning whe I woke up..when I went to bed last night, When I see you again" was running thru my head..but when I woke, a song I would NEVER think of, let alone hear it in my head..was playing loudly: FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU. Why of all the songs in the world? Was that from Bob? I want so badly to think it was.
STEVE that was beautiful, I will print it out..MARSHA I sent u a message TRINA & SARA thank you...maybe someday we will all get affirmations..I must b feeling a bit better cuz I haven,t caved at all the lovely poems and songs yet today...I DIDN,t get up till 11am..so maybe I am going into remission again from the Epstein Barr.
Comment by Steve on April 11, 2017 at 6:27am

I haven't posted this in a while, seems like today is a good day for repeats, each day I wake up and see Mark's photo, I think of this poem:

For those who believe:

I wish I could tell you of all that God has planned

But if I were to tell you, you wouldn’t understand

But one this is for certain though my life on earth is o’re

I am closer to you now than I was ever before

And to my very many friends trust God knows what is best

I’m still not far away from you, I’m just beyond the crest

There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb

But together we can do it taking one day at a time

It was always my philosophy and I’d like it for you too

That as you give unto the world so the world will give to you

If you can help somebody who is in sorrow or in pain

Then you can say to God at night my day was not in vain

And now I am contented that my life was worthwhile

Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile

So if you meet somebody who is down and feeling low

Just lend a hand to pick him/her up as on your way you go.

When you are walking down the street and you’ve got me on your mind,

I’m walking in your footsteps only half a step behind

And when you feel the gentle breeze or the wind upon your face

That’s me giving you a great big hug or just a soft embrace

And when it’s time for you to go from that body to be free

Remember you’re not going you are coming here to me.

I will always love you.

Anonymous

Comment by Marsha H on April 11, 2017 at 5:04am

To my family ...

I've left this song a few times before, but wanted the new members to hear this song because I believe our beloved spouses are always around us and yes, we'll see them again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7IbQyG9PL4

Much love

Marsha

Comment by Marsha H on April 11, 2017 at 3:54am

I too believe there are special people out there such as psychics or mediums, but few and far between.  Ernie had a special name for me so if a psychic or medium can't get that then to me they're doing a 'cold read.'  I know I went to two psychics and one medium and other than couple of close calls of what was going on in my life none of them knew I had just recently had my husband pass away.  So, I look for signs that I know are there.  That's just me.  I'm very cautious and get angry if I feel someone is scamming me. 

Sara is right, Sylvia Browne passed away.  I saw her several months before in person and she did not look well. 

Ernie passed away in April 2011 and that Christmas Eve (that use to be our favorite time together) I was wrapping last minute Christmas gifts on the coffee table not even paying too much attention to anything when I looked to the left of me and there he stood, one elbow on the wall unit, one leg crossed and smiling down at myself and the dogs as if he were telling me he was so grateful I had put the Christmas tree up when it was the hardest thing I ever had to do being without him.  When I saw him I was calm.  His body looked like a billion stars all combined and it was him for sure.  He was there about 2 minutes and I was amazed at myself how peaceful I felt and this was all quite normal.  There were others signs I had as well.  I know grief counseling tells those in grief these are nothing, but illusions, but I disagree and there is something much greater after death than anyone knows.  I saw what I saw!

Comment by Marsha H on April 11, 2017 at 3:45am

Mary.Jane ...  Thanks for the great post and yes, like you do I keep myself up very well (I think I scare some other women off!  LOL)  I won't go shopping without make-up on, my hair tidy and whether it's jeans and a sweater it still looks good.  It is important to keep ourselves up because it builds our character.  You know the old saying, 'When you look your worst that's when you bump into someone you know.'  LOL

Comment by Marsha H on April 11, 2017 at 3:33am

Mary.Jane ...  The last song you didn't know the name of is 'See you again' and here's the Youtube ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgKAFK5djSk

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Trina Mamoon on April 11, 2017 at 2:42am

Hello Steve, Harold, Mary Jane, and Sara,

Thanks for sharing your spiritual experiences with us. I strongly believe that our dearly departed loved ones (spouse/partner in this instance) are right next to us; we can't see them, but they see us and send us signs every once in a while, especially when it gets really unbearable.

Joseph has sent me many signs, and visited me once two or three days after his passing. I saw him vividly in our bedroom walking from the door to the walk-in closet. When I saw him then, I knew immediately that it was a vision-visit, not imagination on my part.

The last time he sent me a sign was on August 4th, his second death anniversary. That day I returned to our home in Fairbanks, AK after having attended my nephew's wedding in Virginia a few days prior. Needless to say, my heart was heavy and I dreaded returning to our home. After getting out of the taxi as I approach our house, I wanted to throw myself onto the pavement and start crying, but somehow I summoned up my courage and went up to the door. Next to the front door on the small patio table was the figurine of Cupid, the Greek god of love. Joseph had planted this little garden figurine--with little wings and a bow and arrow with a red heart at its tip--under our peony bush. It was a gift he had given me several years ago when we first moved into our beautiful house. But on that day, August 4th, the Cupid figurine was placed exactly in the middle of the patio table. And immediately, I knew Joseph had put it there for me a sign from him, as a sign of his love, to let me know that he is always right next to me.

Our beloved spouse sends us signs once in a while to reassure us and comfort us, to let us know that there right here, next to us, even if we cannot see them. This thought brings me comfort and strength knowing that when my time comes (and I hope it's in the next few years), Joseph will be waiting for me. So yes, there are angels out there, and they look out for us.

Goodnight to you all!

Comment by Mary. Jane on April 10, 2017 at 10:27pm
Update. I just listened to both the newer songs, and "When I SEE You Again" is the best. I takes everything we are feeling, and puts it into perfect words. If you have never heard it, I really recommend it. It is a hard one to absorb, but I think it says what we all feel. If you go to YouTube, make sure you listen to the NON RAP version. The song was written for the guy from the Fast and Furious movies who was killed in a car crash. I hope it will touch you the way it touches me. Goodnight my new friends.
Comment by Mary. Jane on April 10, 2017 at 10:01pm
Now, I am going to address SONGS. BOb and I liked 2 different types of music...me folk rock, him acid rock. It was 1968, and the guy across the street was friends with Carlos Santana..so Bob got to visit Carlos's home several times..this was b4 he was such a huge star..anyway, "our song" was Radar Love by Golden Earring, 1973. I'd forgotten all about that...Bob was a truck driver by day, artist by nights etc.that song seemed to fit who were always were, and there were a few by Meatloaf that we loved.
Fast forward to his death...2 days after he died, my daughter had flown to Oklahoma, and we'd spent the morning at the funeral home, making the arrangements..so we needed a diversion..and went to a dept store, looking at stuff on the racks..when a song came on the overhead speakers. I wasn,t paying attention until some of the words hit me..I had never heard this song b4, but as I listened to it, I had a major breakdown right there in Women's Wear! We discovered the song was "1000 years", and to this minute, I CAVE every time I hear it. Seriously start crying, even yesterday when I heard it unexpectedly. ANother song that sends me over the edge, I am not sure of the name..but the lyrics are: "it's been a long time, without you my friend...but I'll tell you all about it, when I see you again." OMG! I just started crying again. So those two songs, post humously have become our songs. Besides Radar Love. Thanks for letting me vent. It's been a very tough 5 days, and I am happy I have this place to come to.
 

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