Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1326
Latest Conversations: 8 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by Mary. Jane Jul 1. 13 Replies

I used to love long week ends.

Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6. 2 Replies

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Comment by Mary. Jane on May 20, 2017 at 2:16pm
Thank you both for the lovely comments. I was a bit hesitant about posting such a personal thing, but I was/am so proud of her I did it anyway. Yes, I am VERY blessed to have such an awesome daughter. I never had a good relationship with MY mother, but it was worth that pain to have such a wonderful daughter.
Comment by Steve on May 20, 2017 at 11:11am

Dear Mary Jane,

What a wonderful gift...happy (belated) Mother's Day.

Sending you hugs,

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on May 20, 2017 at 10:38am

Dear Mary Jane,

First may I say how glad I am to hear that you feel better - feeling poorly physically on top of our grief can truly weigh us down more than other people realize. May your health continue to improve!!!

Secondly, thank you for sharing such a personal gift with us - your daughter is an angel, and her love for you shines through that video, as well as in her lovely smile which matches yours. Such caring and generosity of spirit isn't something learned anyplace other than from our home and those who raise us - quite obviously you and your wonderful husband Bob created a home full of love, joy, and compassion, thus sending into the world your gift of a young woman who will spread happiness and positive energy. Well done, Mary Jane, to you both!!!

I have not posted much for a while, and will try to get caught up eventually, but you and all my treasured family here are ever-present in my thoughts and prayers - wishing all a peaceful weekend, and as we individually  confront and deal with our personal milestones and special days, I send out my love and many hugs to help us through the rough ones...



Comment by Mary. Jane on May 20, 2017 at 10:14am
Yup, the link works...I hope u
Y'all don,t think I was weird for sharing that..and on June 17 I will be alone...for my big 50... but in realality, if he hadn,t got sick and died, I
He really wouldn,t have wanted to make a big deal out of it. The last few years he'd gotten kinda reclusive, and DIDN,t like to I would have just been angry and pouty, so I will do what Georgia did. Poor myself a stiff drink and toast what would have been. 49 years is a good run...and thankfully, after the past 3 weeks of being so sick I am thankful to be better now. I actually thought I wanted to die...but apparently not, since the last 2 days have been full of tornadoes, and terror, and that tells me I am not ready to end this life yet.
Comment by Mary. Jane on May 20, 2017 at 10:00am
Don,t click on that link untill u read this...I was feeling sorry for myself cuz my daughter was on a business trip, so I thought she,d at least send me a card or something. The mail came last Saturday and there was nothing, but Sunday, she sent me the above which she spent 4 hours making. I hope the link works, it is a very personal link, but I'd like to share it with all of you...
Comment by Mary. Jane on May 20, 2017 at 9:52am
Ya know, I read everyone's posts, and they bring me so much comfort, even if I am not in the mood to post Georgia, it's nice to meet you...Bobs birthday was 2 days b4 Louies...luckily, he never made a big deal out of any holiday..but 2 of my friends called me, and one sent a card. It was just another day...which is how it was when he was alive. Now MY birthdays I ALWAYS made a big deal of, and Mothers Day cuz those were the days I got all the attention. Lol.sadly, he died before my 70th birthday which I had planned to make a HUGE deal of..the day went un celebrated...with Bob gone, it just DIDN,t seem important anymore.
Something HUGE is coming up June 17th. It would have been our 50th wedding anniversary. Yup, the big 50. I used to plan it in my head, figuring we,d fly back to The SF Bay Area and celebrate with family and friends, but now it will be just another day.we never really celebrated anniversaries either..just went out to dinner. There is a part 2 to has to do with this past Mother's I will be back with part 2
Comment by Marsha H on May 20, 2017 at 4:05am

Dear Trina ...  It is so good to see you post and I think of you often wishing with all my heart you have found some peace.  Thank you for the lovely compliment, but I can't take all the credit because everyone here is an angel and what a group we are! 

Take care Trina and hope your weekend is peaceful.



Comment by Marsha H on May 20, 2017 at 4:01am

Dear Georgia ...  I was honored to wish Louie a Happy Birthday and I know he was right there with you.  I truly believe that.  Ever so often I can feel Ernie around me.  I know hon what a difficult time it is for you trying to celebrate, but again I do impress upon you Louie was right there.  Here is a wonderful saying a friend gave me and I have it on my fridge:


I hope the above gives you some peace as it has me.  Truthfully I have experience a breeze going by me when I'm in my house and no doors or windows are open; sometimes a shiver runs down me as if I've been touched my a kind hand and I believe it's Ernie.  Other times I feel as if someone is watching me or looking over my shoulder. 

Have peace my dear friend and remember the above.

Love & Hugs


Comment by georgia on May 19, 2017 at 11:59pm
Thank you Trina,
Have a good weekend.
Comment by Trina Mamoon on May 19, 2017 at 3:51pm

It's heartbreaking to be facing the birthday of your darling spouse when s/he is no longer with us. All the milestones are tough, but perhaps birthdays are more so, because how can we "celebrate" when they are not here with us? But we can celebrate by remembering the good times and all the beautiful, loving memories that we shared with our spouse and soulmate. We are in a terrible situation. Our love is gone, and here we are trying to make sense of what we have been thrown into.

Thinking of you and sending you good vibes. Hugs, Trina

PS Marsha is a wonderful person; she is always here to reach out to us and to give us encouragement and support.


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