Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1326
Latest Conversations: 16 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by Mary. Jane Jul 1. 13 Replies

I used to love long week ends.

Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6. 2 Replies

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Comment by Sara Murphy on June 12, 2017 at 9:48pm

Chicago.......I just saw your link with the post about grief and I had to share it on my fb page.  Thanks for sharing that with us.

Comment by Diane C on June 12, 2017 at 11:48am

OMG Steve..... your post just brought tears to my eyes. This weekend my daughter and I walked in a fund raiser for our local Hospice where my husband passed away, soon to be 5 years ago on August 1st. They asked that we send them a picture of our loved one. Last week I scanned a picture of my husband at work to send to them. Of course the picture was now in my in box. Later in the day I clicked on the link looking for items to delete. His picture filled my computer screen. I wasn't expecting that and as I looked into his eyes I began to cry. After a few minutes I regained my composure and of course could not delete it. I spent most of the day thinking about my husband and when I got home and pulled into the garage, there laying on the floor of the garage was the most beautiful feather he has sent me to date.  I thanked him profusely for sending me that sign.I do find feathers when I am having a bad day and thinking about him more than usual. If that's possible... But I do find the occasional feather in unusual places and he also send me hummingbirds. We always had trouble attracting them. We would get one or two on occasion.  But in the days after he passed away, I was getting several, several times a day. I know these are signs from him. As you, I cherish these gifts from him... Have a good day and I look forward to the next chapter.....

Comment by Sara Murphy on June 11, 2017 at 9:25pm

Hi All.......I haven't posted in the past week but I think of you all everyday.  Between being busy at work and having some things come up after work, I haven't been able to catch up on all the posts here.  The last one I read from last week was Chuck giving the definition of stasis which I found perfect.  That's the definition of my life so thanks for posting that.  I'll continue reading to catch up.  I wish you all a good night.  Oh, and Marsha.......I hope your sciatica is doing better.  I've had a herniated disc which presses on the sciatic nerve so I know how painful and debilitating it is and wish you a speedy recovery with it.

Love and peace,


Comment by Mary. Jane on June 11, 2017 at 9:23pm
I came across this song, only heard bits of it b4...but I hope y'all will find it inspiring.
Comment by Mary. Jane on June 11, 2017 at 9:14pm
I am finding these stories so comforting..and I hope they are as cathartic for you to write, as they are for us to read. Thank you for sharing them.
Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 11, 2017 at 6:16pm

Dear Steve,

Thank you for your recent posts recounting your encounters with finding feathers. It's beautifully written. It takes courage to share our innermost thoughts and emotions and private experiences  with others. Your stories and recollections made me tear up with their honesty and condor. So many of the feelings and thoughts you describe sound familiar and brought up my own memories associated with Joseph's illness and passing.

The black feather is so beautiful! It is indeed a sign from Mark  letting you know he is okay and that he is watching over you. It must bring you much comfort and solace. I look forward to the next chapter of the Trail of Feathers. Hope you have a peaceful day.

Take care and hugs, Trina

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 11, 2017 at 5:52pm

Dear Marsha,

I found your story of finding the feather of a blue jay right after your beloved Ernie's passing to be very touching. Hope you are well.

Hugs, Trina

PS I don't post much these days because while I have reached a calmer spot in my grieving for Joseph, I know that I will mourn his loss to the end of my days, so there's nothing much more to add...

Comment by Marsha H on June 11, 2017 at 3:29pm

Steve ...  It is normal to hide the hurt and grief of losing our spouse as we valiantly face the world with an unknown future.  Then one day all the emotions we feel boil within us and I find that is the time to come out and express oneself.  I consider it 'cleansing the soul.'  My dear brother I am so very proud of you for sharing your feelings even though it makes me tear-up, but once you face those suppressed feelings we are trying to hide to continue on in life it is a feeling of freeing the soul to face one's future.

Love you big brother 

Comment by Steve on June 11, 2017 at 6:10am

Thank you Marsha for sharing, as usual dear sister you to brought me to tears, seems to be my norm of late.  I am finding that as I write I am feeling a lot of emotions I have pushed away and hidden from view, so in some way I am feeling as if I too am letting go.  I feel it is time everyone who knows me should see the me that has been hiding in the shadows, there is so much I want to say and to tell.  It is as if I can no longer keep these things inside.

Thank you again dear sister...

Comment by Marsha H on June 11, 2017 at 4:50am

Dear Steve ...  Thank you so much for sharing your chapters of your personal life and your feelings and looking forward to more stories.  I was in tears as I knew instinctively what you must have gone through when your beloved passed away.  It brought flashes of memories back for me regarding Ernie. 

Odd that you should mention birds because Ernie's favorite bird was the Robin; you heard them the most in the morning hours and in the evening.  When he was in Hospice and passed away, like you I was in shock.  My girlfriend brought me home and wanted to stay with me, but I was eerily calm and didn't want anyone around me.  I remember suddenly standing in the side garden (don't even know how I got there) and the rest of the world seemed to be blotted out.  Suddenly a beautiful Blue Jay swooped down towards me, tilted and dropped a bright blue feather at my feet.  Even in shock I realized it was Ernie leaving me a message that he was finally free from pain and anguish. I picked up the feather which I still have to this day although it  has lost much of it's color.  I walked in from outside feeling peace, no sound did I hear of traffic going by or that the world was even out there and I laid down and fell into a deep sleep. 


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