Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 20 hours ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by Mary. Jane on Sunday.
Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by Steve Jul 14.
Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6.
Mary Jane Great song with a great message. A message every one of us here would live up to!
Tomorrow is the anniversary of the first day Larry and I met in 1983, and also of the day we had our Civil Union in 2007. I posted this last year in two parts - I am only putting the first section on here today, as it describes our actual meeting face to face. This photo is the best I could do for now of how we looked back then.
This year is so very different from last, when I faced this day alone and still wondering if the words "we, us, and our" were pretty much out of my vocabulary for good. As it turns out, they are not.
June 15th, 1983
Of course it would be 95 degrees and humid today…the kind of NJ summer day when you soak through your shirt in 2 minutes. The close air coming through the car window smells of exhaust, hot asphalt, and melting tar – the perfume of the road. At the stoplight you glance at your sweating face in the mirror asking again why you don’t have air conditioning, why June always feels like August, and especially why you ever agreed to meet this guy in the first place. You’ve been doing fine alone for years…well, OK at least. Someone knows someone they think is perfect for you, and suddenly you’re worrying if your deodorant will last the encounter, if he smokes (you do), and if he’ll take one look at the drowned rat climbing out of this steaming tin can of a car and make an excuse – something like “Oh, I just remembered I’m having emergency surgery tonight – I’ll call you…”
You pull into the arranged parking lot to follow him to his place, a nice neutral public area where you both feel safe and can peel out at the least sign of trouble, and there he is. Getting out of his car looking fresh, scrubbed, and cool as a cucumber as he walks back to meet you with a cigarette in his hand. OK, that’s not an issue, so now you look up and smile saying “You must be Larry – I’m Chuck” and hold out a damp hand while you feel a drop of sweat roll down your forehead. “Hi Chuck - I take it you don’t have air in there? Would you rather leave the car here and ride with me?” “No, I’ll be fine, if you don’t live too far – and I can borrow a dry towel to dry off!”
He laughs, and you see the kindness and humor in his striking blue eyes – and you think maybe this isn’t such a bad idea after all. And 33 years later you know it was not just a good idea – it was a miracle.
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