Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 19 hours ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by Mary. Jane on Sunday.
Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by Steve Jul 14.
Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6.
Michael My Rose also suffered cancer which she beat. However, the chemotherapy damaged her heart and that is what eventually took her from me. I am still in contact with her side of the family although none of them live near me. I have almost no family left on my side so it is not an issue.
Michael, I am so sorry for the loss of your wife on your son's 18th birthday. I lost my husband on July 22, 2015. I no longer hear from his family. I initiate contact but hear nothing in return. It breaks my heart because we were close enough to enjoy vacationing together as well as frequent phone calls and get-togethers. My husband and I also hosted 3 family reunions where folks arrived from near and far.
I don't know how to handle it. I miss them and the fun times we had together. At the same time, it hurts to be forgotten. HUGS and prayers to you as you deal with these family issues. Debbie
My wife and I were given the diagnosis of her cancer two months after her 41st birthday. We were told she would do chemo until she couldn't handle it anymore. She fought for 2 and a half years. She died October 28th 2015, it was our middle sons 18th birthday. She was at home in our living room, a room I still have trouble going into. I talk to her every day and cry most of them. I realized this past weekend that I have trouble getting around family. Especially her side. I'm just wondering if this is something others have experienced?
My dear big brother Chuck .... I'm thinking of you on this special day and I'm praying it will be full of wonderful memories and not so much sadness. You have a new future now and I know Larry and Mark would be thrilled for the two of you. Dance my friend!
Thank you for the beautiful story and I do love the picture of the two of you. It's a beautiful photo and one can almost read what is going through both your minds (love, peace and joy in life.)
Your loving sister
Mary.Jane ... I will be thinking of you and saying a prayer on the 17th. Remember, you are not alone as all of us here will be thinking of you on this special day.
Be careful my dear friend with drinking as it can catch up to you. Many a time I feel like 'getting a blast from the past' and shutting out the world, but I don't dare do it as there is a lot of alcoholism in my family so my brother and I are super careful. I trust you and know you will curb the drinking. I hope you aren't angry at me, but I care and I just have to say what is in my heart because I want the very best for you in life and in your future.
Sandfly When Rose passed I called work and told them I was taking the week off. Just sat on the couch with the TV on, not watching. Went back to work and was able to do my job but it was very surreal. It was probably good that I was working in administration at the time rather than on a unit (it was a state hospital for the criminally insane). As you have heard from others, the intensity of your grief will lessen even though it will never totally go away. Listen to your feelings and do what you need to do for you. There is no right or wrong way, just your way and that is OK.
Sandfly ... All of us here have experienced and some, still experiencing missing our spouses so much it feels like our hearts have been torn out of our chests. Unfortunately, it is a normal part of the grieving process. You are in what they call, 'raw grief' and that's the toughest part the grief journey, but I promise you although you will always miss your husband the dread dulls in time. Fond memories take over and you will survive. Yes, there will be days when you will always shed a tear or two over a memory or simply missing your husband. It has been 6 years for me and I still can have tears over the loss of my husband and wish he'd be here to hug me like he use to. We had no children and there is just me and my two little dogs and thank heavens for them. There is a living, breathing little creature in the home and yes, they feel grief too and will be loyal to your needs.
I am so proud of the fact you attempted to go to work even if you didn't put a full day in. Baby steps are so important going through grief. In time, it will get a bit easier for you to go back to work without fear of anyone asking how you are doing. We all started taking baby steps and most of us couldn't realize how we got from one day to the next, but we did. Please believe your husband is close to you and giving you strength through the worst part of grief. I believe that with all my heart from the experiences I've had. Also coming here and venting your true feelings help and again, we all do understand how horrific the journey of grief is, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. One day you will be shocked because you laughed out loud and another day you'll realize you're stronger than you thought.
May I suggest you go to grief counseling or at least one-on-one grief counseling. It does help to a degree and gives you a push in the right direction. This site is also the most helpful dealing with grief and has saved my life when I felt I couldn't go on. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Big hugs (because you need one)
Hello everyone, I am so lost today. Forced myself to go to work and only lasted half a day. I feel useless .I have no purpose. Coming home was even worse. I wish my husband was here to talk to. Give me a hug. It's just me and the cat. It is 9 months tomorrow since he died. I have no idea how I even made this far. It hurts so much
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