Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 16 hours ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by Steve Jul 14.
Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by Mary. Jane Jul 1.
Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6.
Good one Marsha!
I came across this song and as I've told some of my wonderful friends on here we have learned so much wisdom, strength, loyalty and love from our spouses and they left such a wonderful gift to us so we carry that torch for them and take baby steps into the future. They are always with us! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NkRNg0TZOw
I understand what you are saying. I have been trying to move out of our house since this last spring. I have found another place to live but am having a hard time going thru the old house. There are places I still avoid because the painful memories are still there. I long for the day when the boxes are just boxes again.
Chuck....As usual, well written. I can feel the anguish of having to go through yours and Larry's possessions and give you much credit for finding the strength. It's certainly gut wrenching and not easy but luckily you have Steve by your side to go through it with you. Since he's already gone through this exact thing, he knows how you feel. Take a breather whenever you need.
Sending you a big hug.
Sara ... It was wonderful to see your post and I missed you!
Dear Big brother Steve ... Thank you for the compliment and I do my best. For some, seeing their loved one that doesn't look peaceful after they pass away it's a shock and leads them to believe their loved one passed away fearful and in pain. I blame the medical staff because nurses see death all the time and should explain to the living spouse why this is so that they will have some peace.
Even in comas the loved one can hear and that's why they suggest to the spouse, family and friends to talk as if that person were awake. I had a male friend who was in a coma for 8 months and all of us just talked to him normally, played some of his favorite music and eventually when he came out of the coma he told us he heard everything. Of course Mark heard you very clearly. I did give Ernie permission to pass on and as you know it's the hardest thing we had to do. You want them to stay, but don't want to be selfish so 'when you love someone set them free.'
I am so sorry about your sister's passing, but, the death process starts days before they actually pass and they seem to accept it with peace. I am so glad you both could say how much you loved each other. It's true and I do believe that when our spouses passed that someone close to them comes to them softly and when it's time 'guides them home.' I know when Ernie was close to death we said our goodbyes and I told him not to be afraid. He looked peaceful after that and seemed to drift into a world of his own (preparation of passing away.) Their business is finished here on earth and they can pass on to have another life without pain, I do believe deep in my heart they stay around us in spirit to give us strength through the grieving process and once we have strength to move on the visits become less and we are left with memories. I still talk to Ernie, say goodnight to him and I sure wish he was here most of the time.
Your post to Mary.Jane was with love and caring and the truth of this journey of grief we all must go through. It was encouraging and peaceful. We just didn't drop on earth and were created and we are born, live and pass away. It's the circle of life. It may not be fair and there are always so many questions we may never get answers too, but like you I've learned to take many wise things Ernie said to me and go forward with love to help others. Each one of us whether new to grief or awhile into grief carry that torch and we help each other get through it.
Lots of love my dear brother
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