Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Started by denise. Last reply by Sara Murphy Oct 10. 3 Replies

Need Advice:Grief and Chronic Fatigue

Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Kaela Roster Federle Sep 25. 27 Replies

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Comment by Mary. Jane on July 19, 2017 at 2:42pm
Sara..I tried to find your song..there are a lot of songs about "Set me free" but there is a Jeep commercial called recalculating on YouTube..that just has a few lines of a man singing in a raspy voice please please set me free. Hopefully that is what you heard..and dummie me I forgot to c&p the link.
Comment by Mary. Jane on July 19, 2017 at 2:30pm
Omg, Sara, I just read your post, and burst into tears..good rears...that idea NEVER entered my head, EVER..but when you wrote that, I thought of the words, and it is the PERFECT song for Bob to have sent! I have always felt he and I had loved each other for 1000 did he..and I know we,be had past lives together..I knew the second I met him for the first time, he was THE ONE I had been waiting for...kind of a feeling of coming home..and we got married 8 months later, against the advice of EVERYONE..seriously NO ONE thought it would last the first year..but through all the good and some horrible times, I NEVER doubted he was my soul mate.
Also, I believe in re-incarnation, and that you are with the same people each lifetime..THANK YOU so much for this, Sara. I can,t wait to tell my daughter this..LOL she will probably roll her eyes, but maybe not..I wonder if he sent me When I See You Again..I had never heart that song either, till last summer when I heard it sung by LINKEN BRIDGE on AGT...and I cried then, too. Thanyou again, so very much.
Comment by Sara Murphy on July 19, 2017 at 1:12pm

Mary Jane......Music is one of the ways our loved ones communicate with us.  I have no doubt your heard that song because Bob wanted you to hear those lyrics.  A few months ago I posted about a particular bad time while driving.  I had changed the station and the next thing I heard was a 70's song at part where it said "love will find a way".   forget the rest of the lyrics but it was as if Ken was speaking directly to me.

Right now I have lyrics going through my head on a loop.  There's a car commercial being played heavily (not sure if it's a national commercial but I doubt it).  In the background is a song and the lyrics in my head are "Please, please set... me.. free.  Set me free, set me free!" 

Marsha.....I haven't had a chance to listen to the song you posted but hope to do so this week

Comment by Marsha H on July 19, 2017 at 1:13am

Chicago Beard ...  Glad you liked the song.  One of my very favorites as it pretty much says it all.



Comment by Marsha H on July 19, 2017 at 1:12am

Mary.Jane ...  Proud of you for going through what you did and then went shopping to celebrate 'new life.'  It's sad memories I'm sure for you, but I'm so proud of you for even attempting the shopping.  It's a very good start forward.  It's normal to have a melt down when out and I've had many in the past and can still have the odd one if something reminds me of Ernie.  Tears are good and release tension. 

I understand about funeral homes and how the cost can run up into a whole lot of money so bring someone along with you if you haven't already to help you keep the costs down.  I had a Celebration of Life for Ernie and a tea after the funeral (his ashes and a picture of him were present.)  I hardly remember any of it.

Don't get me wrong, but you made me laugh a little about 'Marsha's song' and then added some of your own and found out one was from Vampire. 

Hope you have a good day tomorrow my friend.

Try to be good!  LOL

Comment by Mary. Jane on July 18, 2017 at 9:52pm
Hey kids...I am commenting on Marsha's song post. ( I haven,t been here for a few days, as weirdly, I have had a few grief free days),Funny story about songs...BOb died on a Tuesday, The next day my daughter flew out from California, and we went to the funeral home on Thursday to make cremation arrangements***so we kinda needed a break, so we decided to do an AWESOME thing..go shopping! But not for us..both of us had friends who were pregnant, and there was something wonderful about aranging a death, then going to buy presents for new lives about to happen..anyway, it had been a rough morning, and we were in a store, but we,d split up, when a song came on the overhead music thingy..I couldn,t hear it very well, and was not familiar with the song, but the words were "I have loved you for 1000 years..etc.." and I had a meltdown right there in Women's Wear..yes, sobbing, I ran over to Melinda and asked her what this song was? She held up her I phone and got. The title, etc...and it was "my song" till I discovered it was about VAMPIRES..LOL so then I began listening to all sorts of songs about loosing someone. I loved On my own" from Les Miserabe"..but the guy wasn,t dead, he just dumped I kept listening, and after all the songs I have to give my vote to "When I see you Again" (non rap version) it just seems more down to earth for me. More "getting thru each day" than others..but I am always open for new songs.
The three *** I included are for a future subject..funeral homes, and how they GOUGE grieving people...but that is for another post.
Ok that's it. Carry on. LOL
Comment by Chicago Beard on July 18, 2017 at 2:32pm

Good one Marsha!

Comment by Marsha H on July 18, 2017 at 5:24am

I came across this song and as I've told some of my wonderful friends on here we have learned so much wisdom, strength, loyalty and love from our spouses and they left such a wonderful gift to us so we carry that torch for them and take baby steps into the future.  They are always with us!

Much love


Comment by Michael Smith on July 17, 2017 at 6:15am


I understand what you are saying. I have been trying to move out of our house since this last spring. I have found another place to live but am having a hard time going thru the old house.  There are places I still avoid because the painful memories are still there. I long for the day when the boxes are just boxes again.


Comment by Sara Murphy on July 16, 2017 at 5:40pm

Chuck....As usual, well written.  I can feel the anguish of having to go through yours and Larry's possessions and give you much credit for finding the strength.  It's certainly gut wrenching and not easy but luckily you have Steve by your side to go through it with you.  Since he's already gone through this exact thing, he knows how you feel.  Take a breather whenever you need. 

Sending you a big hug.



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