Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 1 hour ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Marsha H 8 hours ago.
Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by deborah peck Sep 12.
Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by deborah peck Aug 22.
I love that song. i would listen to it when I was feeling down even before Melanie passed. It is very up beat.
Dear Chuck ... I am so happy this link came to you at a good time. It makes sense and makes us less doubtful as to where our lives are going. You and Steve have also enhanced my life more than you will ever know. Both of you will be in my life for a lifetime too.
Thank you for that wonderful link! I don't know how you it, but ever since I joined this family you have said or shared something that goes straight to my innermost feelings, and always at times I find myself needing to hear your message. You have come into my life for a reason...and as far as I am concerned for a lifetime as well. God Bless You.
Mary.Jane ... You are lucky you are having dream and some of Bob. I've only had a couple of Ernie.
The searching dream I believe is that you are searching for her you use to be before you met Bob and that's where we have to go to reinvent our lives. Bob fell in love with you when he first met you because of your personality and the kindness in your heart. We have to reach back to our past in order to remember who we once were.
The dream you had of where you once worked is also taking you back in time as to what your personality was back then before meeting Bob. These dreams help us to remember what our personality was like before the love of our lives came into the picture. This helps us become stronger and forge into the future knowing we always had strength. I believe these types of dreams are guiding you to make a life in the future.
I had to giggle about the joke Bob played on you. I am a firm believer when they first pass and each person takes time to start heal from grief that our spouses are right there with us. Sometimes we feel them around us throughout the day or we get a sign of something such as feathers, birds, coins, etc. to remind us they are close by. Dreams often come to us about our spouse just to let us know they are really there for us to help us through the grief process.
Anyway, that's what I believe and in the 6 1/2 years since Ernie has gone the dreams, the feelings he is there and signs from him strengthened me. Hope this helps solve your problems Mary.
TO ALL YOU ANGELS ...
I thought this youtube would explain many things to each of us. You've more than likely read this one before, but it's so beautifully done 'Seasons.' It helps to understand why sometimes we lose a loved one, some people stay for a short time, others stay for what we need in our lives and then they disappear and some will stay a lifetime with us. From each one of these experiences each person we come in contact with leaves an 'imprint' on our lives. Some experiences may be sad and hurt us, but we learn from that and make us better people for it. We pass on our knowledge from what we've learned. Hope this youtube helps to bring some peace to all of you.
Much love to all
Mary.Jane ... You are as always a sweetheart for answering Joanne's post. I copied it and added it on here so all members could see it. Our posts will go into her 'in box' and she can click on the link and it will bring her to the right place.
By the way, I got 'I am not a robot' and it's annoying. I had to click on what pictures had cars in it until there were no more. So time consuming and it could be an easier verification. Oh well. LOL
Joanne ... We all understand how you feel as some are going through it now while others like myself have had a few years pass since our spouses passed away. My Ernie passed in 2011 and even though I have gotten somewhat use to him not being here there isn't a day that goes by I don't think of him; he was my friend, my love and I still miss him, but take those baby steps forward. You are in raw grief now and I do know that gut-wrenching feeling that no one understands and family or friends just don't know what to say and to us sometimes it sounds ignorant or, just out of context. There isn't anything anyone else who hasn't lost a spouse can say to make us feel better. Unfortunately, when our spouse passes away we do make other people uncomfortable and it's no fault of our own.
I have found in the 6 years since Ernie passed away grief is a journey unlike we've ever known and we go through so many emotions. Some days are a little better than others and eventually with time we gain strength from them and manage to carry that torch for them as they enriched our lives so much.
When I went to grief counseling I was told that sometimes even family would expect me to be 'over it' in months or a year and good friends that were once enjoying Ernie's and my company would slowly slip away and I was shocked to find that so true. No one who hasn't experienced the loss of a spouse will ever understand. I walked around with what some call '2 masks' one to smile when out because it's expected of you and a sad one when I was home alone and had good cries and went over the memories of Ernie. Joanne, this intense feeling you are going through doesn't last forever. Hang on tight, cry if you want, get lots of sleep and try to get out as much as possible even if it's just for walks. This forum is a wonder place to be where we all understand the pain we are all going through and it has helped me far more than going to a grief counseling group.
Please post anytime and just say what is on your mind as no one judges another on here.
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