Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 9 hours ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Legacy.com Dec 28, 2017.
Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Nov 22, 2017.
Started by denise. Last reply by Marsha H Oct 25, 2017.
I don't understand why the funeral home did that Joanne, the one I used just had to have me sign one on the policies over to them and then the insurance company paid them and then sent the rest to me, what a horrible way to do someone when they are hurting too bad to be able to take time to figure it out. When my 1st husband passed he didn't have insurance, thank God my uncle stepped in and paid for it, even then we were given an option on installments for 6 months which we didn't use but was a great option
Did the research for the U.S. to see if there was something similar to B.C. Memorial Funeral Services, but unfortunately as Mary.Jane said it's all about money. Couldn't find a thing out there. Sorry, wish I could have helped.
Thanks to everyone.
To everyone ... In Canada we have 'B.C. Memorial and there is an extremely small fee. What they do is take over almost everything and you can a lovely low-cost funeral or, if the family decides they want a large funeral they will give the best prices. They are there (thank God) to stop Funeral Homes from gouging grieving families. I will research and try to find out if the U.S. has something like this.
For Ernie, he was cremated $250 with a lovely walnut box for his ashes which I keep so we can have our ashes strewn over the Pitt River when my time comes. I had a 'Celebration of Life' with Power Point of everyone in the family, friends and of course Ernie ... all those wonderful memories and I made the music. After we had tea in another room (I was in shock so don't remember much of it, but was told the whole thing was lovely) the total cost for me was $2,000. I probably could have gone cheaper, but I had no help with preparing for this. I am so sorry there wasn't anyone there to help you out.
Joanne......You shouldn't have had to worry about so much after Jack's passing. That alone is full time, 24/7 grief and to worry about the funeral home keeping his ashes until payment was made is inconceivable. I too had my husband cremated and was lucky enough to have my brother in-law pay the funeral home until the life insurance check came in which was only about a month. That alone was a lot to think about, the last thing I wanted to do was make phone calls and schedule meetings. I can only imagine the un-necessary added stress you felt. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Sending a hug your way.
Joanne, I'm so sorry for all your pain, I think you were right when you said we were kindred spirits. I cant imagine losing a loved one so close to the holidays and the thought of the funeral home holding him hostage is just appalling , sending you hugs
Dear Joanne ... I am so sorry your husband Jack had to go through so much at such a young age. I know it was difficult for you as well; then Jack passing a week before Christmas and on top of it all the stress of paying for the funeral. It seems all about money and a down payment should have been sufficient to bury your Jack. I certainly can understand how you feel numb with things happening so quickly and the shock of it all.
When my Ernie passed away he had Celiac Disease and it took forever to get a doctor to diagnose him. Every week I would have to take him to the hospital to get an IV as he was losing weight so quickly. Like you, I just did what I had to and didn't ever think he would die. Then he had his last bad bout and was comatose and I rushed him into ER and stood my ground! By this time at 6' 6" tall my beloved only weighed 156 lbs., and he was ready to give up. Thankfully after multiple tests they found out what he had and we rectified it with diet and he packed on more weight than he ever had before. We thought it was clear sailing until 2 years later he was having stomach issues again and pain and we found he had pancreatic cancer, but were told it was caught in time and surgery would fix the issue. The specialists made many mistakes and by the time we were aware his pancreatic cancer was inoperable. I tried so hard to keep things normal in our lives not realizing he was going to die from this horrific disease and I had to watch him lose weight once again. What hurt my heart the most is he looked at me as if 'I could fix it' but this time it was out of my control. We had one last New Year's Eve bringing in 2011 and he was gone by April 27, 2011. It took me forever to realize he was gone. How I still miss him now, but, it's a far less agonizing pain in my heart than at the beginning. I will always miss and love him dearly.
Thank you so much for venting Joanne. I just thought I would tell you some of the things that happened to Ernie as hearing other people's stories can often help.
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