Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 2 hours ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Kaela Roster. Last reply by Sara Murphy 5 hours ago.
Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by deborah peck Sep 12.
Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by deborah peck Aug 22.
I apologize for not replying to your kind words last week - I have had several showings of the house scheduled, and trying to keep everything looking nice inside and out is taking up my time and energy. I also was approaching our anniversary of the day in '83 that I proposed, and my emotions were and are running high. Four days later on Sept. 1st my mother passed away, making this time of year associated with some powerful memories. Anyway, my health has improved over the years - thank you for asking. I'm reading today all the posts I have missed, and again feel blessed to be associated with such generous people who lift and help each other so lovingly. You certainly all do so for me!
I was also surprised at the costs. We are Catholic and there was a one day wake and church services so I guess that was the added cost. Fast forward - in June the pitiful insurance company finally sent the $10K check and just looking at it made me sick. In a moment of clarity, I heard very clearly, "Give it to the kids, they can use it" and that's just what I did. Such peace came over me and I believe my Jack spoke to me and that he is ok. P.S. The cemetery called me this week after four months of trying to get the flower urn for Jack's grave which I was told when I paid the cemetery was included and I had to end up paying $250 this week because I am too tired of swimming upstream. I live in Cleveland, OH. Thanks for listening. It really helps letting go of negativity.
I don't understand why the funeral home did that Joanne, the one I used just had to have me sign one on the policies over to them and then the insurance company paid them and then sent the rest to me, what a horrible way to do someone when they are hurting too bad to be able to take time to figure it out. When my 1st husband passed he didn't have insurance, thank God my uncle stepped in and paid for it, even then we were given an option on installments for 6 months which we didn't use but was a great option
Did the research for the U.S. to see if there was something similar to B.C. Memorial Funeral Services, but unfortunately as Mary.Jane said it's all about money. Couldn't find a thing out there. Sorry, wish I could have helped.
Thanks to everyone.
To everyone ... In Canada we have 'B.C. Memorial and there is an extremely small fee. What they do is take over almost everything and you can a lovely low-cost funeral or, if the family decides they want a large funeral they will give the best prices. They are there (thank God) to stop Funeral Homes from gouging grieving families. I will research and try to find out if the U.S. has something like this.
For Ernie, he was cremated $250 with a lovely walnut box for his ashes which I keep so we can have our ashes strewn over the Pitt River when my time comes. I had a 'Celebration of Life' with Power Point of everyone in the family, friends and of course Ernie ... all those wonderful memories and I made the music. After we had tea in another room (I was in shock so don't remember much of it, but was told the whole thing was lovely) the total cost for me was $2,000. I probably could have gone cheaper, but I had no help with preparing for this. I am so sorry there wasn't anyone there to help you out.
Joanne......You shouldn't have had to worry about so much after Jack's passing. That alone is full time, 24/7 grief and to worry about the funeral home keeping his ashes until payment was made is inconceivable. I too had my husband cremated and was lucky enough to have my brother in-law pay the funeral home until the life insurance check came in which was only about a month. That alone was a lot to think about, the last thing I wanted to do was make phone calls and schedule meetings. I can only imagine the un-necessary added stress you felt. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Sending a hug your way.
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