Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1337
Latest Conversations: 9 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Need Advice:Grief and Chronic Fatigue

Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Mary. Jane 10 hours ago. 22 Replies

My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by deborah peck Sep 12. 18 Replies

On the last day of our vacation my husband died.

Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by deborah peck Aug 22. 33 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Marsha H on September 8, 2017 at 4:28am

Dear Deborah ...  How wonderful in ways you had two loves and I'm so sorry you came to a loss with both.  I know it must be very hard for you, but my dear friend, never be afraid to try for love again.  At my age there isn't much I fear anymore and thank you for encouraging me to hang on until I do meet someone.  It's so difficult in this town I live in as it's not the friendliest place, but my niece is helping me with a profile of myself to put on a dating site.  I figure I would have better luck at Sing Sing!  LOL  I would love just to meet someone the good old fashion way.

Your grief is still so raw Deborah and what will be will be and I know you will find someone even if it's just a male friend.



Comment by Marsha H on September 8, 2017 at 3:59am

TO ALL ...  I thought it unfair that most of you are new and you don't even know what I look like.  This was the last picture of Ernie and I taken bringing in the New Year in 2011.

I will give you a more up-to-date photo of myself on here or on my privacy board.

Comment by Marsha H on September 8, 2017 at 3:29am

Dear Chuck ...  Yes, the miracle behind finding the videos was Larry himself.  While often people scorn someone video-taking or using a camera they are miracles of science that tell stories with the videos and still images of our loved ones or simply the beauty of scenery.  I am a layperson when it comes to photography, but with each family event and anything to do with friends while out and having fun Ernie and I would take photos and so glad we did.  Memories!  Thanks to Deborah and you, it reminded me of coming across a video of Ernie's 50th b/d party on board a yacht sailing into the sunset in the Vancouver inlet.  I heard his voice and tears came to my eyes as I hadn't heard his voice in so, so long.  The smiles and hugs we snuck together and smiles at our friends.  Memories!

I am so happy for you my little brother for this miracle find.

song is for you and Deborah ...

Much love


Comment by Marsha H on September 8, 2017 at 3:15am

Dear Sara ...  Thank you for your kind comments.  I've had a few bad weeks recently, but keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Lots of faith and prayer.  I do care about each and everyone of you.  The homeless little dogs give me a good purpose in life and keeps my sanity.

I hope your days and weeks are good one Sara.  I always enjoy seeing you post.



Comment by Sara Murphy on September 7, 2017 at 10:19pm

Chuck....What a nice find.  I'm so happy you now have Larry's voice and his mannerisms as well.  I know that I love seeing candid pictures of Ken because it captures his "being" much more than posed pictures do.  I'm glad I'm one who never deletes voice mails because I have a few from Ken and periodically listen to them to hear his voice again.  It was never my intention to keep the messages because I thought I would lose him, it just happened that way and now I'm grateful for it.   I think you found the video at the exact time you were meant to find it.  Larry kniew when you were ready for it.   Two weeks ago I was cleaning out our motorhome and came across an envelope of pictures that one of Ken's friends had left there.  These pictures were from their guys weekend to Englishtown, NJ in 2004 for the NHRA drag races and there were a few nice group photos as well as candid shots.  I posted them on Facebook and his friends really appreciated the memories of such a fun weekend for them.  I'm sure Ken had a hand in  my finding them. 

Comment by Sara Murphy on September 7, 2017 at 9:36pm

Marsha....I'm sorry you were having a bad week.  I hope you've since had a couple of good weeks.  Please know that you're very much needed.  Your words of wisdom have helped me many times.  And of course, the work you do with the shelter dogs...those little guys need you too.

Comment by Sara Murphy on September 7, 2017 at 9:30pm

Debby.....that was wonderful that you found Greg's phone and get to have his voice on it.  I absolutely believe you heard him speak to you as I heard my husband on 2 occasions.   These signs are so important as even though we know they're with us, we still need the signs to help us truly believe it.  Thank you for sharing your story.

Comment by deborah peck on September 7, 2017 at 8:47pm

Chuck, I am so happy that you ended up with not only a recording of Larrys voice but also a video you will always treasure, I too believe God and Larry knew you needed this and led you to it when they thought you were ready for it. I have shared the phone recording with my family and have it saved on facebook so it is save, if mine disappears there is other copies, I am so sorry that his family didn't want recordings of your video, they do not know how precious the hearing and seeing our loved ones are to us .I ended up giving the actual phone to my daughter since there were messages to her son on it but not me so I saved the parts I wanted and she wept when I gave it to her and I knew it had its rightful owner. Hope you have a good night. Debby

Comment by Marsha H on September 7, 2017 at 2:15pm

Dear Michael ...

I am so sorry about your wife's fight re colon cancer and she is quite the strong woman to want you to find someone else to go on in the future.  When I working at Trans Mountain Pipeline one of my coworkers John was dying from brain cancer and he had everything set up for his wife to marry his best friend.  I found this rather odd, but now that I have lost my spouse I understand much more. 

I am so happy you have found a wonderful lady to share your life with and I'm sure you know just how fortunate you are.  I pray I am as lucky finding someone to be in my life.  Humans need someone to love and move forward in life.

That song was absolutely beautiful and I have to admit I couldn't watch it all through my tears.  Thank you for sharing that with us all.

God Bless and Hugs


Comment by Charles E. Nelson on September 7, 2017 at 12:41pm

Hello all, the diagram of the stages of grief came out a bit small and hard to read, so I will try again slightly larger


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