Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 9 hours ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Mary. Jane 10 hours ago.
Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by deborah peck Sep 12.
Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by deborah peck Aug 22.
Dear Mary Jane,
As someone who would be considered more aptly suited to communicating through smoke signals and pantomime, believe me I understand your meaning clearly through and technical glitches - no apologies necessary.
You have reminded me of a time in public when the person with whom I was interacting during a purchase asked if I was alright. I was a bit taken aback, and said "Yes I'm alright - why? Don't I look alright?" She gave me a small sad smile and said that no, I looked like I had just lost my best friend. Well that did it - my eyes instantly filled with tears and I was fumbling for a tissue in my pocket causing me to drop my wallet and knock over my cane. I thought I was going to completely fall apart when she reached over and put her hand on my wrist and said she was so sorry to upset me - did I want to sit down? Could she get me some water? I just stood there trying to control my breathing per past yoga training and waited until I could talk, then told her it wasn't her fault - I had indeed just lost my best friend when I lost my husband to cancer.
She said how sorry she was for my loss, then we completed our transaction. Then, with no customers waiting behind me, she came around her station and wordlessly gave me a gentle hug. She stepped back, asked if I needed help to my car, then just said she would pray for me.
Those are the moments, when kindness and compassion take precedence over decorum or protocol, that give me hope for the future of mankind.
I send wishes via smoke signals for a peaceful night my friend, and always include you in my prayers -
Love the pics Steve, you are truly a combination of both of your parents, Debbie
Good morning all,
I decided to share some of my favorite family photos, you can find them on my home page. I have also posted a short blog on my home page titled "All the People in My Life".
Hugs to all
Mary Jane, I am so sorry your husband had to suffer for so long and you had to watch it, must of been so hard for you, at least with my husband we all thought he was doing so much better after his stroke until the last week. Both of my parents died from cancer 6 months apart and even though it was emotionally exhausting they didn't suffer long so your husband was truly very strong as were you. love Debbie
Mary.Jane ... I've seen family members, friends and then my beloved spouse terminally ill and it always seems to be the same where they choose when they want to go. We can sit for hours with them and then for just a few seconds leave the room and they are gone. With my mother my brother, his wife, two boys and Ernie and I sat by my mother; her breathing labored. We even held out own breathes wondering when she would breath again. After hours of sitting the nurses told us to go home and we thought it would OK so did. At 7:46 AM the nurse had turned her back to wet a face cloth for my mother and she heard a little sigh and my mother was gone. I was at hospice waiting for Ernie to arrive and wanted to stay the night, but he became agitated that I go home and when I asked if I could come back in the morning and stay all night he smiled and nodded. Deep down I knew he was dying on his own terms and didn't want me to see it and at 6:30 AM I got the call he had passed away. A friend of ours who had AIDS several years ago put on a good front and we went to visit him. We had such a nice visit believe it or not and by the next morning he too had passed away. I've read about death and they say slowly that person dying goes into another dimension and often sees a deceased loved one. It's a comfort to know that.
Deborah ... I believe even if for only a brief second we all have thought of ending our life, but as Mary.Jane has said we are left behind for a reason and we managed to go on. I do believe we are strong, but we are also very fragile. We put on a brave face because we have no choice.
Together all of us on here are going to make it to happier days.
Russ ... Big hugs back and I pray you have peaceful days ahead.
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