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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1371
Latest Conversations: 17 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by deborah peck on September 24, 2017 at 8:20pm

Thank- you Mary Jane, all you guys who have been grieving longer than I have are really great support. I hope everyone has a great week

Comment by Mary. Jane on September 24, 2017 at 7:26pm
I am so glad you had a wonderful time..and honestly, you DIDN,t ruin anything. I have has several times where I have broken down in public with friends, and although you might feel like you ruined a good time, you DIDN,t. They really do understand...and support you. My friends know it happens, and could happen...and they are prepared for it. I always feel like you did..but my friends and family understand...and I know your did too.
Comment by deborah peck on September 24, 2017 at 7:05pm

Had a great time this weekend at the wineries, everything went great, listened to music at a couple of different places and while Greg was never out of my thoughts I still had fun At least until the last winery we went to started playing a slow song and I lost it so my sister and I went for a walk while I got it back together and went back to the table to listen to the music and talk with everyone and then of course a song came on about losing someone, that was it I got up and said its time to go, I was so embaressed and hated having to leave but was just done for the night, I kept apologizing and everyone kept telling me I had nothing to be sorry for but I still felt bad but all in all it was really nice.     Debby

Comment by Mary. Jane on September 23, 2017 at 11:10am
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wkWUEfaRzZg

Before I woke up this morning, I was dreaming the melody of this song. The first time I ever heard it wa on Americas Got Talent sung by a 13 yr old named Evie Clair who's dad was dying of cancer. This was recorded months ago, and her dad passed away during the duration of the many weeks of the show. I have listened to the original version and it is kinda lame...but this morning I went online and found
This..yes, it is long, as the judges talk to her but listening to her sing this for her dad gives me strength. I urge y'all to watch this clip...I find this young girl singing comforting and it helps my grieve. (and, yes, she made it to #4 in the final show. I just wanted to share something lovely with y'all.
Comment by Marsha H on September 22, 2017 at 3:12pm

Dear Deborah P ...  I know that feeling you are going through and every so often even now, my mind can go to that dark place as well, but it never happens.  We are stronger than we think.  I think it's wonderful you are going to the wineries with your daughters and friends and I'm sure that will clear your mind.  It's very normal to wonder why we were left behind and what are we suppose to do with the rest of our lives while be battle grief, but please trust me on the fact that it does get better although you will never forget your spouse.  Go to wineries, have a few, laugh and cry if you need too, but remember, what you are going through is very normal.  You are not alone!

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by deborah peck on September 22, 2017 at 12:41pm

Has been a really rough week with my mind going to dark places for an easy way out of this pain, As much as at times I would love to end it all I could never do that to my family I couldn't leave them with that much pain and we have been thru that once already, my dad commited suicide after batteling cancer for 20 years, multiple kids  and many surgeries, I don't blame him at all but I couldn't send my family down that road again. But am heading to Hermann MO. to visit the wineries with two of my daughters and my younger sister who is my best friend so hoping this weekend can turn my thoughts around.  love to you all and have a great weekend

Comment by Deb S on September 22, 2017 at 12:38pm

Mary Jane, Feeling empowered is a great thing. WTG!

It looks like the weather will be beautiful for your trip with a range in the mid to high 70's. It is about 80 today and absolutely gorgeous. I am wearing a tee shirt and shorts. I brought jeans and a light jacket for days where it might be a bit colder. So far, I haven't put on the jacket. Enjoy your time here. It is a sweet place to spend some time.  Debbie

Comment by Mary. Jane on September 22, 2017 at 11:00am
For DEB S
You GO girl! In case you DIDN,t see my guestion about the Outer Banks, can you tell me what the weather should be like the first 2 weeks of October there? I have no idea what to pack, as I have never been there. Will it be humid and warm, or chilly and windy.
BTW! I bought a new MATTRESS a few weeks ago...fist time I ever made a semi-major purchase without BOb. I actually felt a little empowered! LOL
Comment by Deb S on September 22, 2017 at 7:16am

Sarah, Thank you for your sweet note. I remain more exited than my soon to be 4 year old granddaughter at Christmas. I have seen photos and done research on hundreds of homes. I narrowed down the search and my realtor showed me about 15 houses. None were "just right". This house had been on the market but was not on my radar until the owners decided to drop the price substantially. I called my realtor and asked her about the neighborhood with plans to come and see the house in the next few days. Another couple put an offer on the house so I placed an offer sight unseen. The seller asked each of us to submit are best and final offer. It is not easy to determine how then to proceed. I wrestled with a number and heard Bob advise me as to how to counter. I soon learned that I got the house! Fortunately, I've had no bad post-purchase feedback. I am comfortable with my decision and taking all of the necessary steps so that I can settle asap. 

It is a big step but one I am happy to be taking. Thanks again for your sweet comments. The collective strength, wisdom and support from this group is a Godsend.

How are you doing?  Debbie

Comment by Sara Murphy on September 21, 2017 at 9:47pm

Debbie.....Congrats on the 2nd home.  I'm in awe of your strength to make such a large purchase.  I panic just thinking about smaller purchases or projects around the house.  I'm glad you'll be in a place that brings you comfort and peace.

 

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