Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Nov 22, 2017. 2 Replies

New member

Started by denise. Last reply by Marsha H Oct 25, 2017. 4 Replies

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Comment by Kaela Roster Federle on September 29, 2017 at 10:15pm


I know you are feeling alone. I'm feeling very alone and sad tonight too. It doesn't matter if people are around or not, we are lonely without our husbands. :-( I know you want to be in his arms. Just keep reminding yourself that you carry him with you. In everything you do, you carry him in you. He lives in you. My therapist keeps reminding me of that. I know it probably doesn't help but during our loneliest times and our darkest hours we can at least remember that our husbands remain alive within us.

- Kaela

Comment by deborah peck on September 29, 2017 at 9:13pm

Feeling very alone tonight, need to be in my husbands arms

Comment by Sara Murphy on September 29, 2017 at 11:33am

Steve......Thinking of you and hope all turns out well.   Definitely let us know the MRI results when you find out next week

Comment by Marsha H on September 27, 2017 at 5:20am

Dear Steve ...  So happy you got some good news and I'm sure the doctor can fix you up as good as new.  I'm praying hard all goes well for you.

Your Sis


Comment by deborah peck on September 26, 2017 at 8:54am

That is good news Steve, now I pray they can find out what is going on, good luck with the MRI s

Comment by Steve on September 26, 2017 at 7:58am

Well, the good news is that I do not have carpal tunnel or trigger finger, the nerves in my right arm and fingers are good.  It is the swelling of my right hand and the extreme weakness I have in my wrist and fingers that are concerning to the neurologist.  Thursday I go for my first MRI on my neck, followed by a second one on Monday for my right shoulder.  If all goes well, I will get the results on Friday next week along with a course of action to take.  Will keep my legacy family in the loop.  Thank you one and all for your support and prayers.

Comment by deborah peck on September 25, 2017 at 9:51am

Steve, I hope you get to the root of your pain with this test and they have a solution for it, must be very hard living with it but sounds like you guys are getting it figured out so praying for your health   Debbie

Comment by deborah peck on September 25, 2017 at 9:49am

Dear Chuck, yes music is definitely a trigger so to speak for me too, I recently did not attend a nieces wedding because of my fear of the wrong songs playing so even though I am sorry its that way for you too ,Its nice to know someone else "gets it" I'm sorry you had to go thru that with your dad, must of been so very hard for you when he asked that. I knew that my dad was going to do something because he asked me what my thoughts were and I told him that I understood, which I did, but didn't know when or how but the rest of my family did not understand at all so they have had a much rougher time with it. It sounds like you have been so busy I hope all goes well with the oil tank for you guys

Comment by Steve on September 25, 2017 at 9:08am

Hi Mary Jane,

Thank you for thinking of me, the pain is from carpel tunnel and trigger finger in all four fingers.  The orthopedic gave me cortisone shots in July and they seemed to be working, then my symptoms returned and have gotten worse.  I have no strength left in my right hand and cannot make a fist without a lot of pain.  Having to wait 45 days for the nerve test has been challenging to say the least.  I use a rubber ball to force my fingers to bend and then have to stretch them back out again.  My hand is so swollen that the swelling further limits movement and when walking/shopping it swells even more and turns red.  The test today is to help the orthopedic doctor to determine type and extent of surgery or not and to rule out other possibilities that could be causing all of the above.  I have learned how to use my left hand and I can do light typing as the fingers do not have to bend as much as trying to grab something as simple as a fork and my toothbrush, most annoying some days.  Hopefully, the nerve test will not hurt and I can finally get something done to correct this condition, even if it means surgery.

Comment by Mary. Jane on September 25, 2017 at 8:27am
DEborah, thanks for watching the video.

CHUCK..about Steves nerve pain...does it happen all the time, or when he sleeps, or holds his arm up, like when he holds a phone receiver to his ear, perhaps? One of the reasons I bought a new mattress, was I was having HORRIBLE numbness, and then severe pain in each forearm and hand when I slept. When I would awaken, it would take hours of pain, as the numbness wore off, and circulation returned. B4 I got the mattress, and even now, I wear a wrist band on each wrist while I sleep. It has been better since the mattress, but last night I wanted to get to sleep right away, so I took an extra half Xanax and when I woke up I was in terrible pain...which hadn,t happened since the new mattress. I think the extra half pill caused me to sleep,deeper, and I DIDN,t move as much during my sleep...and this morning my right hand is numb again...I did some research, and sometimes if you sleep all night in one position, the nerve center in each shoulder gets pressed on, causing your arm to fall asleep from your shoulders nerve center. As I write this, feeling is returning to my the blood supply is moving again. WhileSteve is waiting, may I suggest he wear a wrist band wn each wrist at night, until he finds out the reason for this thing? It could be very very serious, and the pain is excruciating. I also sleep with my hands curled inward which cuts off the circulation and causes blood flow not to reach them. Just a suggestion..hope he feels better...also, I read on Google that it might be related to a cardiology it could be very urgent.

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